When he was a very small boy, Draga had understood the language of horses. The strong, spare music of their speech had flowed around him everywhere except the central chambers of his Father's castle.
They were full of a robust humor, rarely angry or sad. Unlike people, horses were solid, matter-of-fact thinkers, firmly grounded in the here and now.
It was the horses, not the stable hands, who taught him how to ride. They thought it a great joke, and snuffled and blew and stomped their hooves in the dirt in amusement, but managed to nudge him up onto the back of a huge, sloe-eyed stallion named Iute (the quick one). Sitting on Iute's broad rump, Draga felt as if part of the horse's majestic power had

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When he was a very small boy, Draga had understood the language of horses. The strong, spare music of their speech had flowed around him everywhere except the central chambers of his Father's castle.

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I'd write this differently (I even write myself differently when I come back to something, so that's no shock). Something like "Draga had understood the language of horses for as long as he could remember..."

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They were full of a robust humor, rarely angry or sad. Unlike people, horses were solid, matter-of-fact thinkers, firmly grounded in the here and now.

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OK. I'd end with "Not like people."

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It was the horses, not the stable hands, who taught him how to ride. They thought it a great joke, and snuffled and blew and stomped their hooves in the dirt in amusement, but managed to nudge him up onto the back of a huge, sloe-eyed stallion named Iute (the quick one).

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I'd end this thought with "amusement." Since I haven't read any further, I don't know why you bother characterizing Iute as "the quick one." Took me out of the story.

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Sitting on Iute's broad rump, Draga felt as if part of the horse's majestic power had become his. From his perch, a good sixteen hands above the ground, he felt strong.

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Could be stronger.

I'm wondering where this prince's people are, that they're letting him canoodle with horses. Meanwhile the stable hands sit around watching the King's son be 'handled' by horses large enough to crush him with a swat of their tails, let alone squash him with a twitch of their hooves.

This opening didn't grab me so much, though I do like that it presents a picture of Vlad Tepes that's a bit unusual.

When he was a very small boy, Draga had understood the language of horses. Something about the tenses here feels off to me. Why are you already jumping into pluperfect? Why not, "Since he was a very small boy, Draga understood the language of horses."

...except the central chambers of his Father's castle.
This was odd to me. Why are you telling us this? Is it simply because the horses aren't allowed in the central chambers, or is there something mystical going on that we are being alerted to? If the latter, I'll roll with it, but if there isn't anything particularly important about the central chambers, I'd suggest losing this.

It was the horses, not the stable hands, who taught him how to ride. This almost feels like a second beginning, or makes the first few sentences feel like a false start. I almost think you could start here, maybe with "Horses" as the subject (rather than "it") and simply let the music of the horses unfold, rather than telling us about it. And with royalty, I'd expect there was some sort of horse master to teach the boys.

They thought it a great joke, and snuffled and blew and stomped their hooves in the dirt in amusement,kind of repetitive--great joke and amusement. but Why "but"? One doesn't seem contrary to the other managed to nudge him up onto the back of a huge, sloe-eyed stallion named Iute (the quick one). Sitting on Iute's broad rump, Draga felt as if part of the horse's majestic power had become his. From his perch, a good sixteen hands above the ground, he felt strong. LAgain, last two sentences are repetitive--the majestic power is already feels part of him, and is a much more powerful image than being told "he felt strong." And why is he sitting so far back?

Also, "strong, spare music" and "solid, matter-of-fact thinkers" doesn't bring to mind "robust humor." Furthermore, the horses are also "majestic" but still practical jokers. It rather diluted the effect of them to be told they are so many different things in such a short span.

[This message has been edited by debhoag (edited October 01, 2007).]

but managed to nudge him up onto the back of a huge, sloe-eyed stallion, Iute, whose name meant the quick one.

When he was a very small boy, Draga had understood the language of horses.