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This is a kind of blurb for a novel I've been blocking out. The inspiration comes from a true story I heard on NPR. It started out as the inspiration for another story I'm currently writing, but that one has morphed so much that I wanted to write something closer to the original premise. The two stories are nothing alike, this one being more along the lines of a dark fairy tale, a little Bradbury-esque in tone. Anyway, I just wanted to get y'all's take on it.
The Breath of Hares
In the small of village of Vadish, someone is murdering hares. Four of the highly-prized rabbits have been found dead in their cages, their heads cut off but otherwise intact. Rumors begin to spread among the eccentric villagers. Some say it is the fanatical Loyallers, the nearby cult of spiritualists who believe the hare to be a symbol of the devil. Others say it is an omen, the harbinger of much more sinister things to come. But two young boys, Gurin and Toli, believe they know the truth behind the unexplained murders. They believe the culprit is the Old Woman of the Woods, a mysterious crone who lives deep in the Vastwood. The ancient lady is thought by some to be a witch, a breath-taker who feasts on the souls of others in order to sustain her incredible age. They decide to journey into the dark woods to discover the truth. When they do not return, a party of villagers led by the head of the Woodcutters, Thel Drummer, ventures into the woods to discover what has become of the children. Thel is close to one of the boys, or more specifically, the boy Gurin’s mother - Lasha, a recently widowed woman whom Thel has secretly fallen in love with. But the search party runs into trouble soon after entering the Vastwood - a band of outlaws led by an enigmatic figure known as the Weeping Man. The bandits attack Thel’s group, killing all but Thel himself. They take him prisoner, only to release him for sport. Thel, alone and without his weapons, must run for his life through the foreboding forest, facing dangers even greater than the vicious killers who are hunting him. Meanwhile, Gurin and Toli find themselves the unwilling guests of the Old Woman of the Woods and her deranged son Melki. They are locked in the woman’s cellar, awaiting a terrible fate. For the Old Woman is much worse than they could have ever believed, and her plans more dire than the mere killing of hares. If Thel cannot reach them in time, the riddle of the Breath of Hares will soon be all too clear to the citizens of Vadish, and the answer to that riddle will be written in blood.
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Sounds interesting. Not specifically my style of story, even though I read Something Wicked This Way Comes only recently
Nevertheless, some questions are raised: 1) Why don't the villagers consider the Old Woman given her well known and dark background? 2) How do the boys justify to themselves that they will go there if other boys don't? 3) It seems like the focus of the story shifts, for quite some time, away from the boys; won't the shift in focus dilute the impact of their story? 4) How does the Weeping Man come back into the story? 5) How does it end?
I'll try to answer some of this, at least as much as I can.
Nevertheless, some questions are raised: 1) Why don't the villagers consider the Old Woman given her well known and dark background?
The Old Woman hasn't been seen in Vadish for years. Most of the villagers believe the stories surrounding her to be the fabrication of the village taletellers, designed to frighten children. Most believe she is just an eccentric old recluse.
2) How do the boys justify to themselves that they will go there if other boys don't?
That is precisely why they go. It has to do with their characters' personalities and their relationship with the other children
3) It seems like the focus of the story shifts, for quite some time, away from the boys; won't the shift in focus dilute the impact of their story?
It appears that way in the blurb, but I intend to go back and forth between characters in the course of the story.
4) How does the Weeping Man come back into the story?
Honest answer? I'm not sure yet. I have several ideas regarding him. He does figure heavily in the plot, though.
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