I need someone who can be honest, and clearly state where they became confused, or bored, what parts they wouldn't want their thirteen year old to read. I'm not looking for line edits, just a general, that was great, except for...

If you don't want to read the story, could you at least please tell me what it is about the story that doesn't interest you. I'm planning on submitting this story, and any little bit helps.

Here's a bit of information on the project.

HATCHED synopsis
The world is ruled by dragons, and the remaining humans live in the middle of a dragon war they don’t understand. Protecting the humans are the Dragon Guards, magic wielding humans who have a secret.
The guards are infected with a disease which gives them magic, only the more magic they use, the sooner they will turn dragon. All of the dragons were once humans, until they succumbed to the disease.
Boy crazy JOI is infected with the disease, and because of the strength of her human blood she has more access to magic than the other guards, and also will live longer before she hatches. She is placed in a position of leadership in the guard despite her gender and her lack of training. She falls for a young guard named CONNOR, and after he hatches, she is determined to find a cure for the disease in order to save him. Even if the answer comes from the dragons.
But when she finds out the cost of the cure will take her young brothers life, she has a choice to make that will determine the fate of humans everywhere.
HATCHED is a complete YA Fantasy at 62,000 words with sword fights, magic, and dragons, but no damsels in distress.

First thirteen,
Joi waited in the dark for the dragons to attack her village. Her leg trembled against the long tablecloth that hid her and her brothers underneath the family’s table, like the fort she used to play in as a child, when dragons were a myth only half-believed. Not creatures that stalked the night and took her father.
The village was silent, waiting for the signal from the guards that the dragons were within the walls. Joi laid her head back against the wooden table leg in the dark, and listened to her mother sing Caleb’s lullaby and the wind rage outside. Her five-year-old brother usually fought against all things that made him feel like a baby, but not on dragon nights. Mother’s quiet song comforted the entire family as they waited for the signal. And then the signal came, and there could be no comforting.

What's your timeline? Would it be soon enough to get back to you in 4-5 weeks? If so, please send it to me--I'm expecting good things

@BenM, I can send you an outlined synopsis, if your interested.

@Melanie, I know! Thanks for mentioning the new title, I'm glad you like it.

@Meredith, I'll send you the first 10,000, does anyone else want it that way?

@Mrs Brown, I'm glad you noticed the story, I'm excited for you to read it. I hope you like it. How do you want it, in chapters, or the whole file and you read it at your leisure. I'm in no rush.

@Discipulus, again, I'm in no rush, so how would you like it?

Thanks for responding,
~Sheena

I wonder about the boy crazy part? The war with giant fire breathing dragons would surely take precedence no? I'm not saying she shouldn't be boy crazy, but I'm not sold on the idea as part of the pitch is all I'm saying.

As for the last line, I suggest show don't tell.

"And then the signal came..."
Or did you mean "And when the signal came..."

You snooze you lose. :P