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» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Discussing Published Hooks & Books » Dec '07 ANALOG opening lines

   
Author Topic: Dec '07 ANALOG opening lines
arriki
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Since smncameron is behind with his next ten, I thought I'd post the opening line(s) from last December's ANALOG since it's sitting here near my desk.

As Kazo plummeted toward the heart of the doomed star, she thought of what Apilak had told her: -- "Icarus Beach" by CW Johnson

"Our third winner is Pascual Teotalco. Mr. Teotalco is an American of Guatemalan descent working on a BS in astronomy at Vanderbilt. -- "Kukulcan" by Sarah K. Castle

I made it through one more morning without any crying or "crazy incidents." In the coffee shop's early afternoon lull, while I was hanging out reading online high-energy physics articles, there was a commontion.... -- (got a bit lengthy so I cut it short) "Anything Would Be Worth It" by Lesley L. Smith

The scientist was sweating. The conference room of the Universal Church of the Divine Revelation was air-conditioned against the muggy Florida heat, but no amount of cool air would comfort the supplicant seated before the board of regents. -- "Salvation" by Jerry Oltion

...making adjustments to the landing sequence even though I'm not fully awake yet. That's the purpose of these repeated simulations. -- "'Domo, Arigato,' says Mr. Roboto" by Robert R. Chase

I'd spent most of the morning supervising my desk as it attempted, so far unsuccessfully, to locate a replacement grinding arm for a broken ore mill. As usual with my client's operations, the mill had been obsolete nearly as long as I'd been alive. -- "Reunion" by David W. Goldman


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Corky
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Well, Apilak in the first one made me think of that duck in the insurance commercials.

I say, "eh," to all of them. Even though I might expect an interesting story from Jerry Oltion, even his opening left me totally cold.

Maybe that's why I don't subscribe to ANALOG....


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annepin
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I tend to agree. My take:

As Kazo plummeted toward the heart of the doomed star, she thought of what Apilak had told her: -- "Icarus Beach" by CW Johnson This opening rubs me the wrong way, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe because I feel like it's relying a bit too much on action to carry me through. I'm expecting Apilak to have said something either philosophical, pithy, or completely inappropriate--either way, I'm not really interested in it.

"Our third winner is Pascual Teotalco. Mr. Teotalco is an American of Guatemalan descent working on a BS in astronomy at Vanderbilt. -- "Kukulcan" by Sarah K. Castle Hm, okay, why should I care about Pascual and his degree in astronomy?

I made it through one more morning without any crying or "crazy incidents." In the coffee shop's early afternoon lull, while I was hanging out reading online high-energy physics articles, there was a commontion.... -- (got a bit lengthy so I cut it short) "Anything Would Be Worth It" by Lesley L. Smith Oh boy, a self-proclaimed drama queen. I'll pass, thanks.

The scientist was sweating. The conference room of the Universal Church of the Divine Revelation was air-conditioned against the muggy Florida heat, but no amount of cool air would comfort the supplicant seated before the board of regents. -- "Salvation" by Jerry Oltion Two sentences to tell us this guy is nervous. Two weak sentences with "to be" as the verb. The only word of interest to me is "supplicant".

...making adjustments to the landing sequence even though I'm not fully awake yet. That's the purpose of these repeated simulations. -- "'Domo, Arigato,' says Mr. Roboto" by Robert R. Chase Hm. Repeated simulations. Not entirely stimulating.

I'd spent most of the morning supervising my desk as it attempted, so far unsuccessfully, to locate a replacement grinding arm for a broken ore mill. As usual with my client's operations, the mill had been obsolete nearly as long as I'd been alive. -- "Reunion" by David W. Goldman This had some interest for me. It sounded like it might be funny, with the desk and all and the obsolete equipment.


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tnwilz
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What a curious thing. I have never been censored before and it’s actually surprisingly upsetting. I feel like I’ve been judged as lacking by my peers.

In my opinion if we all say we're too prudish to speak of an obvious prank pulled on the sci-fi writing world, then the guy just gets away with it. Lets face it; Asimov's is as legit as OSC's monthly mag. In fact, probably a lot more so. OSC is also quite interested in the art that is hand in hand with most Sci-fi. I would think that if it got reported that the writers at Hatrack were the ones to notice that Tomasz Maronski thought us all amazingly stupid, OSC would not be in the slightest embarrassed.

I think the issue was worthy of discussion. But what is Hatrack if it isn’t endlessly threading opinions and bruised egos. So censor away, I’m sure Tomasz and his buddies will get plenty of mileage out of something so blatant and obvious that, apparently nobody noticed.


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Kathleen Dalton Woodbury
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Your insistence on leading the topic away from it's original purpose in spite of my warning is why your posts were deleted.

Not to mention the fact that the direction you wanted to lead the topic had very little to do with writing.


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tnwilz
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Well its all opinion in the end isn’t it.

Discussing published hooks and books seemed appropriate enough a location, especially under a thread that sought to discuss Analog magazine and its opening lines. Asimov’s is virtually a sister magazine. I suppose that I could have started a separate thread, but this isn’t exactly a raging section of the board and I felt that the people over in this corner, discussing Analog, most likely would be familiar with Asimov’s too and see a connection.

As too how closely related it may be to writing – I’ve been floating around this board far to long for that to do anything but make me chuckle. Lets just say, you might want to delete a few hundred threads going back years before you go to court on that tack. Still, you’re the boss and there has to be one so if I offended you personally by pointing out the cover of Asimov’s then I apologize.

There’s really no telling how people will react to different subjects. I wasn’t trying to offend anyone. It is the artist trying to offend us and I was simply pointing that out. In fact, as far I can tell, nobody was offended, at least if they were they didn’t say anything. Hatrack is a group of creative artists. Many of them with much broader tolerance than I. People who write and read much I wouldn’t care to. I wouldn’t expect this to be a place to walk on eggs, so you’ll have to excuse me for being a little taken back by broadly inconsistent censoring. I was within the constraints of discussing published books. I have however seen huge threads that have very little to do with writing, or the relationship is stretched at best, go on for weeks and multiple pages before they finally get locked without any deletions at all. Even the threads with members out and out attacking each other – not deleted. I feel a little like the guy standing in the corner, having the Martini smacked out of his hand by security while there are raging drunks dancing and fighting on the bar. I mean, this is a bar right? I’m confused. I guess I should have picked beer and stayed over by the bar making a lot of noise.

I didn’t actually defy you by the way. It just so happens that you posted in the moments that I was writing my post, explaining where it was on the cover, so I didn’t see your comment until my post came up.

I guess it doesn’t matter. There is no jury, just judge KDW. A judge who on occasion, has no tolerance for loud mouthed, opinionated, self-righteous, don’t know when to shut their mouths, disobedient, insolent, amateur, unpublished and probably never will be, wannabe writers who were just dumb enough to get on her last nerve.

Tracy (Soon to be ex-member, I’m sure. Wasn’t exactly an asset anyway. More of a drama queen of questionable talent and minimal qualifications.)


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snapper
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My, My, My. You run out of the de-caffenated stuff at your house, Tracy?

Take it easy. I didn't get the pleasure of your post but you still brought enough attention to it that I now want to see the cover of Asimov. So even if your coments were censored, you got your point out.

quote:
I guess it doesn’t matter. There is no jury, just judge KDW. A judge who on occasion, has no tolerance for loud mouthed, opinionated, self-righteous, don’t know when to shut their mouths, disobedient, insolent, amateur, unpublished and probably never will be, wannabe writers who were just dumb enough to get on her last nerve.

Oh, give poor Kathy a break. She's already spending a lot of her time wondering when I'm going to cross that line. Yes, a lot of the stuff you read on hatracks seems mean spirited but it's all under the guise of helping and improving each other. I suspect that Kathy thought you were bashing for the sake of bashing alone. As I said, I didn't get a chance to read it so I'm just guessing.
It's KDW's job to maintain a level of civility on this site. That makes her the sole judge and I'm sure she is often viewed as being unfair about it. Life isn't fair. If you submit your work to magazine's I'm sure you already learned that, which I believe what this post is about, "look what is getting published on Analog this month."
I'm sorry if I'm offending you but an art cover for a seperate magazine doesn't sound relevant to this post, even if they are sister publications.

quote:
Tracy (Soon to be ex-member, I’m sure. Wasn’t exactly an asset anyway. More of a drama queen of questionable talent and minimal qualifications.)

You may be right about the drama queen but as far as the questionable talent and minimal qualifications remark goes I must disagree. That last post was one of the most entertaining things I've read on hatrackers. You should write angry all the time. It's bound to be a hit.
If you plan to quit because of this I think that would be a shame. Do you really want to go home with your ball because you don't like the way the game is being played?
Relax, take a deep breath, and move on. Censorship is distasteful but yours getting the axe isn't the end of our democracy. I'd hate to see someone that can write with such emotion go.


[This message has been edited by snapper (edited March 01, 2008).]


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smncameron
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In my defence, I've had food poisoning.
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