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Author Topic: Titles, Kings and Spaceships.
skadder
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New intro competition (if you dare!):

1. Write a hooky intro with nice smooth prose. Create a strong desire to read on.

2. Thirteen lines only--otherwise watch KDW cut off your hook! Painful.

3. You may edit your work after posting up until the day before Judgement Day (Yes, Judgement Day...haven't you heard the rumours?) which is 12th July (any timezone). Basically don't edit after 10th of July. Although editing a post is not permitted after the 10th you may post--but not edit--up until Judgement Day and the first vote. But it's your risk if you leave it that late.

4. Any genre is acceptable.

5. Titles, Kings and Spaceships refers to the prompt: You have to include the title of a book within the prose--kings or spaceships refers to the open genre. No one-word titles or simple use of name titles, sorry. When I say within the prose, I mean it should appear hidden...not in italics. The title of the book and the author's name must be listed after your intro, so we can spot it, e.g.

The Actor.

The stagemaster's voice boomed backstage from the big speakers. "...I know you've all been waiting for him--here for your pleasure tonight...behold the man himself...." and finishing with a flourish, "Johnnnnnnny...Viiiierrrra."
Johnny put on his best smile and strode out into the bright lights and thunderous applause...

(bad example)


'Behold the Man' by Michael Moorcock

Any questions? Post questions or comments on this thread...entries on the other one.

edited to add: If you want to split a title with a period you need at least two words from the title on either side of the period.

and

You can't just use a title that is a name, and then simply call one of you characters (or places or races, or monsters...) that name; same goes for place name titles etc. You get gist...

[This message has been edited by skadder (edited July 04, 2009).]


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satate
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Sounds good Skadder, thanks!
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JustinArmstrong
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I've been waiting for your next contest

Let the fun begin!


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skadder
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Rules clarified:

You can't just use a title that is a name, and then simply call one of you characters that name; same goes for place name titles (thanks, snapper). That's too easy...

Example:

I opened the door to the I, Robot Cafe; it was deserted.

If you produce the above type of entry you will be jeered and mocked and possibly disqualified...however if you produce this:

quote:
"You human and I, robot..." the crushed robot managed to say.
I cradled it's head on my lap and stroked its titanium cheek.
"Yes, you are a robot--a very good one--and you're going to go to robot heaven..." A tear ran down my face and dripped into its fractured cranial cavity. There was brief fizz and the robot quivered in my arms...

...then you achieved what the competition intended. Okay?

[This message has been edited by skadder (edited July 04, 2009).]


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philocinemas
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Question: Does all of the title have to fall within the same sentence?

Esample: "...after playing around the world. In 80 days he would be..."


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skadder
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You're basically asking of the punctuation can be altered. I don't see why not as long as you don' t end up with single words on each side of the period, e.g.

"...Who built it? It was I. Robot...yes, you tin-head. Come here..."

The above is too easy. So, if you want to split a title with a period you need at least two words from the title on either side of the period.

Obviously you may choose to put a few titles in your intro--won't mean you'll more likely to win, but you'll get some kudos if you do it well.

[This message has been edited by skadder (edited July 04, 2009).]


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snapper
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You know, the examples are getting fun. How about these?

quote:
I stared at the jerk, my eyes wanting to burn a hole into Moby.
"Dick."

The judge scratched his head. Both musuems had their points, but who had the right to the only Skaddersaurus fossil in existence? He gazed at the photo of the 20 foot long appendage. A tail of two cities.

Justin shuffled through the report Doc Brown compiled. The alien anthropoligist lifes work was in these pages.
"You're saying it was a genisis in their make up that compelled them into some sort of mass exodus to flee the leviticus insectoids?"
Doc nodded. "That and the sheer numbers of them. It would happen every hundred years and influences the Deutoronomy primates evolution.



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skadder
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Mmmmm...no more examples, snapper.

quote:
I stared at the jerk, my eyes wanting to burn a hole into Moby.
"Dick."

This one would be disqualified for tow reasons. The first being that it breaches the name rule (see above). The second being it breaks the split rule--there is only one word on each side of the split. Disqualified.

The rest are a little crude...you can do better, snapper.


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skadder
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@Owasm

I'm going to suggest you look at your entry and compare it with the rules. You have broken the rules on couple of points (read them). You still have a chance to make some changes or I may have to disqualify you. Edit!

The rules are fairly simple but if any entry breaks them (even if they supply a plethora of other titles) I will disqualify it.

Bear in mind that votes are given for hooks and creating the desire to read on...you get no votes for including the titles--they are, so to speak, only your entry fee for the competition.

Consider carefully what you are trying achieve...


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philocinemas
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quote:
When I say within the prose, I mean it should appear hidden...not in italics.

When you say "it should appear hidden", do you mean it should not be noticeable?

If so, wouldn't this exempt more recognizable titles like Stranger in a Strange Land by Heinlein.

...or do you mean, 'just don't identify it as a title' as in using italics or quotation marks?


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skadder
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If you can make that title dissapear within your prose then hats off to you.

I guess it's about scoring. If the title leaps out when you are reading, it may damage your hook or affect the desire to read on. If on the other hand you make the title blend in so ntaurally no-one really notices it, then your intro should score high if you have also created real hooks and the desire to read on.

Acceptable (meets the requirements of the rules), but not the best attempt:

"So who are you?"
"I am a stranger in strange land," the man replied.

I would read that and think the dialogue was a little wooden. People don't speak like that, really; it is just done because of the title. I would score it low as it ruins the intro a fraction...

The idea is two make it dissapear to the extent that when people read the title at the bottom they re-read your entry to spot where you used it.

That was my plan.

When people vote they will vote on the the intor with the smoohtest prose, hooks and desire to read on...they won't vote for the title business--that's just an entry ticket to make your intro qualify.


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Natej11
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Thanks for hosting this contest. I love these things!
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snapper
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well disguised Nate.
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MrsBrown
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What will be the deadline for judging?
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skadder
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I usually allow a week for voting--so around the 17th

Although, if there are loads of entries I may make it 8 or 9 days to allow for people who wish to post crits.

I will post the closing date for voting nearer the 10th.

Usual rules apply, though. If you don't vote, you can't win and votes give to yours will be bumped down (see previous challenge, I'm not gonna explain the process everytime).


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skadder
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@shimiqua

No one-word titles (check the rules above).

Could you edit your so that 'Twilight' no longer appears as 'credit' at the bottom. I wouldn't want yours to mislead someone else into thinking one word titles were okay, and then finding out too late they had been dis-qualified.

Your other title is fine.

[This message has been edited by skadder (edited July 07, 2009).]


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Jeff M
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How fun! I haven't participated in a challenge in ages.

... and I'm not a particularly a big Steinbeck fan


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philocinemas
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I will post by the end of the day, but I have one more question. I have a two word title with one of the words being "the" - is this a problem? If so I believe I have an appropriate substitute.
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skadder
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The rules state no one word titles...'the' is a word, so it complies...

[This message has been edited by skadder (edited July 08, 2009).]


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Natej11
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Haha Philo your list of titles is longer than your submission! I'm impressed you managed to make it coherent. Hats off on quality and quantity.

Edited for nubbery.

[This message has been edited by Natej11 (edited July 10, 2009).]


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shimiqua
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I concur. I rolled my eyes, laughed and then did a mental tip of the hat to you. That was pretty impressive, I gotta admit.
~Sheena

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philocinemas
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Thanks - they also all have something in common.
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skadder
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Okay, voting to begin tomorrow (12th of July) and to go on for about one week. I will total up the 20th of July--unless all competitiors have voted prior to that.

I probably need to remind everyone that, as outlined in the rules, this is an intro competition and consequently votes should go to the intro that reads the smoothest--good prose-- and creates the strongest desire to read on.

I note that some people have taken the challenge of using a title in the intro further than I expected (and done it well) but you need to bear in mind that meeting the requirement of putting a title within your prose was only ever the entry ticket to the competition. Not the competition itself--which was always about improving your prose and intros.

However that said, people put a lot of effort into it, so we will also give a nod to the best title insertion. Since this category is a late addition to the voting, I think it only fair to give some guidance on voting for it. As most people have done only one or two insertions, I think we need to limit ourselves to the quality of the insertion, not the quantity of insertions--that should level the playing field. The criteria, as stated in the rules, was that the insertion should be hidden within the prose. So judge the insertion against that criteria.

If your entry has more than one title within it, use bold (within the list after your intro) to indicate which one you want to be your insertion entry...otherwise people are to simply judge hiddeness (?) of the first one on your list.

So please vote as follows:

Best Title (of intro)(one)

Best intro: 1st, 2nd and 3rd.

Best Title insertion.(one)

[This message has been edited by skadder (edited July 11, 2009).]

[This message has been edited by skadder (edited July 11, 2009).]


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philocinemas
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I'll get my vote in tomorrow.
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