...

"It's been on this whole time and you let me rant? Thanks a lot, Tucker.... When we're done here..."

**sound of a fist slamming into the table**

"Hello. My name is Vivian, and my friend Tucker here is a jackass. He and I have worked together for the past four years, him as an accountaint for a senator's son, myself involved in other, quieter affairs. During that time, I've made no secret of the fact that I would love to get him behind closed doors and do unmentionable things to him, but since we're coworkers, he's always treated me like a leper.

"Okay, that's not entirely true. I'm actually married, though my husband is forty years older than I am and I only see him twice a year. He and I have been all over the world doing all kinds of things of questionable legality, and he's afraid of ruining the sanctity of MY marriage! I mean, I'm an assas... uhh, a personnel procurement specialist! I don't go to church. I don't help old ladies across the street, and he's worried about breaking some sacred covenant like a worthless marriage.

"Oh, don't you give me that look, Tucker. I swear to your God I will wipe it off your face.

How did you meet your husband? Why did you get married? Do you still have feelings for him?

What about Tucker attracts you?

<okay, this is way too much fun!>

What do you care most about in the world. It sounds like it's not your husband.

As a personnel procurement specialist, who was the most interesting person you have ever, uh, procured?

What do you like most about procurement? What do you like least?

What did you do last week?

And tell us, what exactly would you do with Tucker...wink wink..no forget that one!

Leslie

(wow! this is just waaaay too much fun)

"You know, I should tell them EXACTLY what I'm going to do to you, Tucker, just to see how red in the face you would turn. You start to blush when we watched Pretty Woman a while ago. I bet you would explode if I told them HALF of what I could think up to do to you!"

**mumbling**

"To answer your question, I met Victor when I was fifteen. That night, my dad told me that I would be married to him by the end of the year. He never told me why. He and mom just sat me down and told me that I would have to spend the rest of my life with him. My mom sat with me for a while after dad left, and tried to explain to me that it would not be so bad, that Victor would probably never have anything to do with me.

"She was right, of course, We got married a few weeks after my sixteenth birthday, and I moved to the states with Victor two days later. He showed me the house, introduced me to the staff, and he left again. That was the last I saw of him until his birthday the next year.

"I tried asking him when I was young why I had to marry him if he wanted nothing to do with me. Victor just smiled and said it wasn't important. All I had to do was stay married, and when he died, I would get everything. I couldn't really argue with that. He's never been anything but kind when I do see him, even if it's only a few times every year.

"As for Tucker... well, I'm not admitting THAT with him sitting right here looking so smug."

**mumbling**

"Yes, you DO look smug, you idiot. You're sitting there grinning like I'm here for you're entertainment! How about YOU get on this thing and start telling everyone your life story?"

**mumbling**

"Yeah, I thought so. You gotta be the cutest coward I know."

**mumbling**

"Whatever.

"If I had to pick one person I cared about... wow. Huh. I guess the easy answer would be my mom, but I really don't know. Tucker here would rank in the top five... though he may slip to the top ten if he doesn't stop snickering.

"Last week, I was out on the North Atlantic, a few nautical miles out from the Port of London. We had a... uh... human resources conflict on one of our ships. They needed me to fly in and resolve it.

You're living out a lot of dreams, there, aren't you? Danger, Power, Money, and a snickering side kick.

Do you ever do any mundane things, like play the game of Life or are you too busy living it?

Do you have many girl friends? You seem like you would intimidate those of us who have a pot roast on.

Since you have your ride all the way through retirement --- why do you procure in the first place?

"As for why I do my job, that one's easy. One of the first things Victor told me was that he would provide me a home. I would have to provide myself with a lifestyle. He told me that he wanted to encourage me to follow a life of my own and not just live in his shadow. He was afraid that would turn me into a teenager with a silver spoon in her mouth. A decade and a half later, I've come to realize he's right, and for that much at least, I'm thankful. My life would have been pretty different if I just lived off what he gave me instead of having something to live for on my own.

What do you do for fun?

Who is your Boss? Is he your husband?

Do you read any magazines?

How old are you now?

Do you ever regret being married?

**mumbling**

"Personnel procurement? I said that? Ugh. Tucker, don't distract me like that next time I'm making excuses and cover stories. I mean, come on!

"Anyway... I'm twenty-nine this year, to answer your question, and..."

**audible chuckles**

"Oh, shut up, you! For all they need to know, I'm twenty-nine. They don't need your snickering and snorting. You sound like you have a head cold with all the snorting you're doing over here.

"My husband is just my husband. I don't know what he does, and I don't really care. Like I said, we get along on those few occasions we see each other, though we've never been intimate. We have never even really been friends. I just have his last name, and my parents seem to be happy with the status quo as a result.

"Come to think of it, just before Passover one year, he did bring another woman back to the states to stay at our home for a few days. She was much closer to his age, even though he introduced me as his wife to her. They then vanished for a few hours on the town, and she stayed in his room that night. Didn't even bother me in the slightest. He knows I have dated around, I know he sleeps around. We're both better off for it, I guess.

Did I understand correctly, that you're a virgin?

"You guys really don't pull any punches on this thing, do you? I feel like I'm a slab of meat being put up for the wolves to start sniffing. I think I've gotten so used to people speaking in abstract and by proxy that I've forgotten how much a blunt question could feel like a punch in the gut.

"Tucker made me promise before I came into this thing that I would try to answer every question that I could honestly... though I think after the last few questions I'm more tempted to just pull the plug out of the wall for this thing and pretend it never happened. Whoever came up with the whole 'confession is good for the soul' thing was crazy."

**mumbling**

"No, it is not in the bible. Go look it up. Mom tried to pull that on me when I was a kid, and I proved her wrong."

**mumbling**

"Look, you have a laptop right there. Look it up."

**long pause. more mumbling**

"No, I won't say, 'I told you so'. I'm not that petty. At least, not right now.

"Anyway, as for the virgin comment, I think I'll play it safe and just answer, 'no comment'. That's for me to know and my future next husband to find out. Whenever I meet him. He should be happy, I'll just say that.

Hoooollleeey sh!#.

That must make you, Tucker, a puss.

Hey Viv! I'll come over and procure some of that. You like a man in orange jumpsuit? I'm your wolf, baby. I can be your next husband. We can have the same "situation" lined up-- just come on in for congical visit twice a year, and live off of my money. Won't be the first gold digger I've been with...

I don't get it. I wonder if I had boobs if I could get away with the crap you are. You've all but admitted to what you do and you have a smart @ss mouth. Why aren't people after you every second of the day? I mean, I didn't kill anyone and I'm in prison. With as much blood as stains your sweet little hands, it would seem like I could throw out some money and start a pool as to who will catch you first: the folk who you're procuring's people or law enforcement. How do you sleep? Aren't you scared? This tough girl, modern fem act is a cover-up isn't it. You can tell ole Sammy, I won't blow your cover.

Don't get me wrong, babe, I love a mouthy hottie with cleavage, but you got issues bigger than law enforcement... how do you escape your conscience? They say I'm a monster, but I couldn't do what you do. And don't give me a line about how they deserve what they got -- I imagine (and definately will, later on tonight) you can do some amazing things, but you ain't God sister, so you and your whoever you work for, can't go around deciding that kinda stuff.

He does make a few points though. Are you a Mary Stuart Masterson playing vintage 80s role...The tough girl with a heart of gold?

I'll bet Tucker knows.