A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.
The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, "Let's go!" The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.
"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "And make several low-level passes."
Why?" asked the nervous pilot.
"Because I'm going to take pictures!" yelled the photographer. "I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!"
The pilot replied, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"
Posted by Black Market Beagles (Member # 6941) on :
President Bush and Dick Cheney are having lunch at a restaurant.
Cheney orders the heart-heathly salad.
Bush leans over to the waitress and says, "Honey, could I have a quickie?"
The waitress was horrified. "Mr. President," she says, "I thought your administration had brought a new era of moral rectitude to the White House. Now I see what a false promise that was. I'm not voting for you this year."
And she marches off in a huff.
Cheney leans over and says,
"George, it's pronounced quiche."
Posted by Miro (Member # 1178) on :
A panda walks into a bar and takes a seat. He looks so sad and forlorn that the bartender gives him a sandwich on the house.
The panda eats the sandwich quietly, and then pulls out a gun. He shoots the guy sitting next to him and then walks out of the bar.
The bartender goes running after him, screaming, "Why'd you do that? What did he ever do to you?"
The panda stops and tells the bartender, "Sorry, man, that's just what we pandas do. Go look it up."
So the bartender returns to the bar, pulls out his encyclopedia, and flips to the entry on "panda bears".
"Sure enough!" he exclaims, "there it is. Panda Bears: Eats shoots and leaves."