I've come to realize that while I've been a minion, evil henchman, and all-around lackey, I'm sorely lacking some disciples of my own. Well, it's time to change that. If you want to be a Jon Boy disciple, sign up here.
*sits back and waits for the hordes of applicants*
Posted by Ela (Member # 1365) on :
You can count me out, Jon Boy.
I wouldn't be a disciple of yours if you were the last person on earth.
**Ela**
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Ouch.
Posted by Duragon C. Mikado (Member # 2815) on :
We see through your act and words Ela, it is already proven that you are Jon Boy's Primary Project Primate, a.k.a. Simulation Simian, Experimental Ape.
[ August 07, 2003, 04:14 PM: Message edited by: Duragon C. Mikado ]
Posted by Jacare Sorridente (Member # 1906) on :
Jon Boy- the problem here is that you just don't have enough name recognition to be anything beyond a mid-level disciple. Sure, you might be asked to help train new disciples of your master, but really, if you say "Jon Boy" to a random selection of a 1000 people how many will think of you? If those blasted Waltons hadn't gotten to the name first you might have had a chance, but as things stand now you're out of luck.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Okay, Jon Boy, but only if Gomer Pyle won't have me.
Posted by EllenM (Member # 5447) on :
How would you teach us lowly disciples to have discipline if you don't possess any yourself?
Posted by Zalmoxis (Member # 2327) on :
Teach me, O Master, the art of taking jokes literally, creating unitentional sexual innuendo, and obsessing over minor points of grammar.
Posted by Ela (Member # 1365) on :
I am definitely Ralphie's disciple.
Ralphie, you have all my loyalty. Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
I can see it now. All of his little minions going to bed and night and calling out "Good night, Jon Boy!" That would be followed by a lot of snickering. Posted by Ela (Member # 1365) on :
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Elizabeth: "Good night, Jon Boy!"
Posted by EllenM (Member # 5447) on :
Zalmoxis, Are those Jon Boy's only traits worth emulating? Posted by asQmh (Member # 4590) on :
I can't be a disciple! I already have my own cult!
But if I were going to be one, I'd be Ralphie's. 'Cause she's stinkin' cool.
Q.
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
this activity has not been approved. jon, report for disciplinary action immediatly.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
*sad* I think I am somewhat in Ralphie's cult. Well, she's let me branch off and form my own sect, but there aren't many in it because I can't figure out what I'm supposed to do with minions.
Posted by Ela (Member # 1365) on :
Uh oh, the Boss is here.
Edit: I meant celia of course.
Kate, no fair you posting at the same time as me!
[ August 07, 2003, 04:26 PM: Message edited by: Ela ]
Posted by EllenM (Member # 5447) on :
Poor Jon Boy. All the cool chicks want to hang out with each other and not you. Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
All the guys want to hang out with the cool chicks, too.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Only if I get a costume.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
afr's costume Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
And, here I am in Zal's cult. (Gomer said, "Yes!")
It's like a beautiful circle of senseless worship.
Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
I vow to never subject my son to that type of humiliation.
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
indeed, having a civil for a father will cause ridicule enough.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
quote:Okay, Jon Boy, but only if Gomer Pyle won't have me.
You're lucky that you've got all those minions to write jokes for you, Ralphie.
quote:Teach me, O Master, the art of taking jokes literally, creating unitentional sexual innuendo, and obsessing over minor points of grammar.
1. If your jokes were funny, I wouldn't take them so literally.
2. I'm pretty sure all my sexual innuendo is intentional.
3. I obsess over all points of grammar, not only minor ones.
quote:Poor Jon Boy. All the cool chicks want to hang out with each other and not you.
This is obviously not true. My fiancee is a cool chick.
quote:Only if I get a costume.
Of course. I think we'd make an excellent crime-fighting duo.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
I make Kate dress in this when she's doing my housework.
Jon Boy - 10,000 monkeys on 10,000 typewriters, baby.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
JB's costume Posted by Zalmoxis (Member # 2327) on :
Cool things about Zal's cult:
1. Everybody in it is goodlooking, if your not goodlooking, you're not in it.
2. Instead of low protein gruel, you get sushi, NY strip steak, gourmet tureky burgers, various tasty dishes that contain capers.
3. You get to act snobbish towards both the elitists and the philistines.
4. Two words: designer shoes
5. The wit is always sparkling and so is the apple cider.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
quote: indeed, having a civil for a father will cause ridicule enough.
At least his father can keep cells alive. The world's full of them. It can't be that hard.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
You know, Ralphie, the fact that you keep posting in my thread shows how much you really want to be my disciple. Don't be afraid to admit it.
Kat: Hey, I used to watch Darkwing Duck. *waxes nostalgic*
[ August 07, 2003, 04:38 PM: Message edited by: Jon Boy ]
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
afr: your costume zones in front of my costume for hours a day...
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
ouch! i guess i should expect you to play dirty.
Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
I'm a dirt engineer. What did you expect?
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Okay, never mind. I officially want to be Kat's disciple.
Posted by Kasie H (Member # 2120) on :
Jon Boy's existence is a threat to my religion and my way of life.
*joins Zal's cult*
Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
I think it would have been appropriate if afr had chosen the purple one for kat.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Kasie: Posted by Kasie H (Member # 2120) on :
Ooh, I can do that too! Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
quote:i guess i should expect you to play dirty.
quote:I'm a dirt engineer. What did you expect?
obviously, my statement went over your head. man, keeping you guys caught up is like a full time job. hey, zan, don't forget to breathe!
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Kasie, did you come in here just to insult me?
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
For some reason a line from the movie High Strung keeps popping into my head: "I'd rather be dead!"
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
quote:Okay, never mind. I officially want to be Kat's disciple.
Yay!
And yet... I feel you are fickle. What can you do to prove yourself? I don't often take on minions, you know.
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
You (grammar) nazi! Your evil grammarness will never overcome! NEVER!!!!!! WE WILL NEVER JOIN YOU!
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Fickle? My friends will tell you that I'm as loyal as the day is long. Ralphie fired me out of her own fickleness, but I trailed after celia like a lost puppy dog even after she tried to fire me. What more proof do you need?
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
But in this thread you did not heed her call. What does that mean?
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
that's true, he was even more loyal after i handed him his walking papers.
you have to be mean, though, kat. i've started being nice and now he's running off!
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Can't I be celia's minion and Kat's minion, while simultaneously having my own disciple(s)? (I can't help but notice that after sifting out all the insults and general mocking, there's only one actual sign-up.)
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
The purple one happens to be a boy (who carries a purse, but nevertheless...). Kat would have to be the red one or the yellow one (because she's a girrrl).
If Jon Boy is Kat's disciple, then does that make me Kat's grand-disciple?
Posted by Kasie H (Member # 2120) on :
No!!
I'm sorry, my first post was seriously meant as a joke. (Is that sentence oxymoronic?)
I just got ticked when you didn't take it that way.
I apologize.
*offers hand*
Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
celia, I understood the joke. I was just pointing things out to the viewing audience who might not know what I do.
Now run along and look at some breasts or something.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Sorry, Kasie. I thought you were just mocking my stance in the gay marriage thread.
*shakes*
Posted by Kasie H (Member # 2120) on :
No, I was just poking fun at the crazy arguing that was going on over there. I didn't mean it against you in particular.
But I still like the idea of Zal's good looking cult Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Two pages in nearly record time.
It just goes to show that it takes the resistance of a giant to avoid making fun of Jon Boy in one of his own posturing threads.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
No, I think it just goes to show that even those who mock me must have some sort of thing for me. Obviously, you just can't handle your attraction to me, so you deal with it by mocking me, which simultaneously improves your own faltering self-esteem.
Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
afr, I was having fun with kat's involvement in the gay marriage thread and the purple one with the purse and ...
Would somebody like to start writing my jokes for me? Mine aren't too good.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Just ask Ralphie where she hired her monkeys.
Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
quote: which simultaneously improves your own faltering self-esteem.
Good night, Jon Boy!
Wow, I really can feel my self-esteem building back up.
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
who let you have self esteem? Posted by Ela (Member # 1365) on :
quote:But I still like the idea of Zal's good looking cult.
Yeah, me too, Kasie.
Oooh, maybe I'm fickle. Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
You know, I don't find the whole "Good night, Jon Boy" thing to be mocking, especially since that's how I got the nickname in the first place. I wouldn't have picked a nickname that was so obviously tied to something that could be used to mock me.
Sheesh, Zan. Your insults are even worse than your jokes.
Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
quote:who let you have self esteem?
My wife. She takes it back on the weekends, though.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Wait a minute - you want to be my minion because you were fired from your other two minion gigs?
Sheesh! The quality of the applicants these days!
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
No no no! I want to be your minion because you're cool. I want to study under your expert tutelage.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
*looks at him blankly*
What do you expect to learn?
I'll an essay of intent and three recommendations.
[ August 07, 2003, 05:13 PM: Message edited by: katharina ]
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
and now that you're unemployed, you just happen to have the time? Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
I have to write an essay? Ugh. Maybe I'll just settle for being your evil triplet.
Posted by Eliza Bennet (Member # 4493) on :
My dear, I worship the very ground you walk on. Or hover over. Or whatever.
Although, I'm not sure discipleship is the best option for me right now. Do you really want me to end up just like you?
Posted by Mr. Darcy (Member # 4958) on :
See! I knew someone here loved me.
I think you're deserving of something much better than mere discipleship.
Oh, and back atcha.
[ August 07, 2003, 05:21 PM: Message edited by: Mr. Darcy ]
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
why isn't there a puking smilie?
Posted by Mr. Darcy (Member # 4958) on :
Wow, celia. That was almost as funny as when I used the same line on Saxon.
[ August 07, 2003, 05:27 PM: Message edited by: Mr. Darcy ]
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
oh, so sorry that i don't keep track of your every post. i mean, i try, but i'm running out of skin to tattoo them onto. and i can't even see several of them to read.
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
Dude! Why are you going around kissing Saxon? I'm horribly jealous!
Posted by Mr. Darcy (Member # 4958) on :
I seem to remember you kissing me first, dude.
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
So? That makes it OK for you to two-time me with that cheap, name-capitalizing floozy?
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
What? When I say "Saxon," I mean you. Storm Saxon is Storm. Everyone knows that, except for whoever it was that called him saxon or sax or whatever.
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
So, is this like that thing you do to Kayla where you respond seriously to her jokes, or did you really not see this one?
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
I really must not have seen this one. I thought you were assuming I was talking about using that line about the puking smiley on Storm Saxon. Now I'm thoroughly lost.
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
I hereby declare the last six posts to be invalid according to Paragraph 2, Subsection 6 of the Uniform Code of Hatrack Justice, which states that any serious of posts intended to be funny but were based on a misunderstanding of the subject matter may be invalidated at any time after said misunderstanding is detected. Invalid posts must be ignored for perpetuity once they have been so designated.
Posted by asQmh (Member # 4590) on :
I vote that that post be taken out and shot.
Q.
Posted by Rat Girl (Member # 4893) on :
Going back a bit, the first smilie of the "Monkeys" series looks a little green around the gills . And one could imagine the "Taunt" smilie is spewing forth some red food substance instead of its tongue. Mr. "Rolleyes" looks a little nauseated too.
[ August 07, 2003, 06:26 PM: Message edited by: Rat Girl ]
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
quote:Now I'm thoroughly lost.
Hmm. . . close, but not quite right.
Did you think about, "I'm thoroughly lost at least 99.5% of the time"?
quote: So, is this like that thing you do to Kayla where you respond seriously to her jokes
sax, I'm really glad you said something about this. I was starting to think I was the only one who noticed that.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*looks around questioningly*
Is it too late to sign up?
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Kayla, apparently you missed it when I explain why I respond seriously to your jokes. It was something along the lines of weirding you out and watching you get all flustered.
No, Rivka, it's never too late to sign up.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
You mean like that? Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
*snickers*
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Exactly like that. It's so much more fun to treat everything you say as if it were serious.
[ August 08, 2003, 12:58 PM: Message edited by: Jon Boy ]
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
Jon, no chance.
People, follow me. I've got candy.
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
Jon Boy by decree of your former master you are to become my minion, and therefore, unless I give you permission you are to correct my english mistakes and worship only myself.
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
you mean "English mistakes" not "english mistakes"
ack! the cult has me!
Posted by Zalmoxis (Member # 2327) on :
Reasons to become Jon Boy's disciple:
1. He has great taste in women 2. To get one more step closer to celia 3. Because if you're a good acolyte, he may let you use one of his alternate nicks 4. Because he shows exceptional range in his Hatrack postings, ranging from fluff to serious to discussions to more fluff 5. Because he studied under Master Patrick and like Pat he is what the Romanians would call 'cumsecade' [pronounced "koom-say-caw-day"]-- it means he's a nice, easygoing guy [literally, cumsecade = how it falls] 6. He wants to be a writer and what's more fun than be a research assistant/copyeditor/flunkey? 7. That quick sense of humor 8. For the crepes 9. He knows Gaelic 10. If you get really lucky, he may take you streaking with him
Posted by The Editor-in-Chief (Member # 5014) on :
quote:Jon Boy by decree of your former master you are to become my minion, and therefore, unless I give you permission you are to correct my english mistakes and worship only myself.
Jon Boy, by decree of your former master, you are to become my minion, and therefore, unless I give you permission, you are to correct my English mistakes and worship only me.
How's that?
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Ah, beautiful Gaelic! My favorite phrase is "Tha mi a fuireach anns an taigh-osda" ("I live in the toilet").
When I learned that one, I had no idea that I would find use for it on an internet forum two and a half years later.
[ August 08, 2003, 03:28 PM: Message edited by: Jon Boy ]
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
Ya, well I actually have a friend who knows Gaelic and can sing a song about a Seaweed Herders Daughter Falling in love in it.
It's called... Dulamon or something like that.
Posted by Zalmoxis (Member # 2327) on :
Jon Boy: You show excellent pr instincts. How would you like help honing your skills? For a small fee, I'll do a full pr strategy/image consultation. With all the acolytes you have, I'm sure you can come up with 15, 20 grand.
[ August 08, 2003, 03:52 PM: Message edited by: Zalmoxis ]
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Candidness? What's wrong with expressing my love of random Gaelic phrases?
The PR campaign sounds pretty good, though. I'm sure I can extort enough money from my minions, disciples and acolytes to pay for it.
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
I think he might be talking about the fact that you live in a bathroom. Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
*pat pat*
Yes, Kayla. Of course that's what he meant.
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
Yeah, well, I knew that. I was just making sure you did. We all know you're a bit slow on the uptake. Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Or, you know, he could've been referring to something that used to be in my now-edited post.
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
Uh huh. And pigs can fly. Posted by eslaine (Member # 5433) on :
In honor of his return.
*bump*
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
Still not many takers though...what are you trying to do, scare him off again?
Posted by eslaine (Member # 5433) on :
Hmmm...
Seems to be working....
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Ah, the memories . . .
Hey, wait! These are all memories of merciless teasing! You people are horrible. I'm storming off in a huff now, never to return!
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Them was good times.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Is he gone?
Whew. I'm always so nervous when Jon Boy is around. He's just so awesome, and I'm. . . just so pathetic.
I mean, he's like a REAL linguist. I can barely spell linguist, and for a long time, I thought it was a type of pasta. Linguistic rustica, you know, something like that. Al freddo, or whatever.
Jon Boy's just legendary. I'd be his disciple, but I'm afraid I'd wind up getting in his way-- or be the one he always uses for his 'Bad Example' stories. I couldn't handle Jon Boy's rejection.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Okay, now that I've cooled down and stopped crying, I've come back. Did I miss anything other than Scott's shameless attempt to flatter me?
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
Me? I am a cunning ling...
Nevermind.....
Kwea
[ March 17, 2005, 10:04 PM: Message edited by: Kwea ]
Posted by Mormo (Member # 5799) on :
I am a master deba... err, an eristic ecdysiast. Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
Posted by Ela (Member # 1365) on :
Wow, I was really silly in this thread.
I haven't been that silly in a long time.
Guess it might be time to start again. Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
I can't be your disciple because I'm already AK's acolyte and I can't worship more than one person at once. *sings and dances* Besides, my English is so horrible I would be your worst disciple.
[ March 18, 2005, 06:04 AM: Message edited by: Anna ]
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Ah, but I could teach you.
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
I feel compelled to point out that Jon Boy didn't start trying to collect disciples until after I already had one.
Posted by Mormo (Member # 5799) on :
So he's a disciplenvarian? Good, we have more than enough disciplinarians already. Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
It's true. It's all true. I just . . . I just wanted to be as cool as Mike. I just wanted you all to like me.
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Taunt]](graemlins/taunt.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Hail]](graemlins/hail.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Laugh]](graemlins/laugh.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Angst]](graemlins/angst.gif)
![[No No]](graemlins/nono.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Kiss]](graemlins/kiss.gif)
![[Monkeys]](graemlins/monkeys.gif)
. And one could imagine the "Taunt" ![[Party]](graemlins/party.gif)
![[Evil]](graemlins/evil.gif)