#23 Perform random acts of kindness. Do something nice and generous for someone at least once a month, but not more often than once a week. That would be stalking, and the courts could get involved.
#67 When you are given a gift, never insult the giver with negative comments about the gift or by insinutating that you don't like it. Just ask if you can have the receipt.
#104 Answer all questions with a complete sentence. For example, if someone asks "When is your anniversary?" you should respond by saying "The date of our anniversary is unknown to me." If a person asks "How are you?" instead of just saying "fine," you should respond by saying, "That is really none of your business. And quit doing those random acts of kindness toward me or I may have to get a restraining order."
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
#1 Read the whole thread before replying.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
You know, it's probably time for me to update my list again.
[ March 02, 2004, 11:40 AM: Message edited by: TomDavidson ]
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
quote: Violence is never an acceptable solution.
TD -- I don't know how serious this list is to you. If it is serious, how literal are you in this statement? Or to put it another way, to what extreme to you believe in it? (the most extreme, of course being "never", which is what it says)
Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
*ack*
Too many rules! I didn't read all of them, but sicne someone already starting questioning Tom on his beliefs (and we all know he needs to keep his post count up to hold off Bob's onslaught) I have to say that I completely disagree with you about finishing books you don't like. There are so many things out there to read it would take more lifetimes than you've got to get through them all. Why on Earth would you waste precious reading time on something that you don't even enjoy?
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
I'm as extreme as it gets on that one, MPH. But I think the word you might want to really concentrate on, instead of "never," is "acceptable."
I will never accept violence as a solution to anything. But I will occasionally tolerate it, because something people are stupid or foolish or even unlucky enough to get themselves into situations from which they lack the facility to extricate themselves without it.
-----
BtL, I guess an implicit rule, one on which that one is contingent, is "Read Faster."
[ March 02, 2004, 12:13 PM: Message edited by: TomDavidson ]
Posted by aka (Member # 139) on :
I'm really curious about rule 98. Can you explain?
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
Rule #74 hurts my heart...
quote:74. Travel constantly, but avoid flat Midwestern states.
Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
#16 - Never buy Chinese food from a guy named "Bubba".
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
#22 Dorothy Parker is not a role model.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Some of my rules:
#1 Always keep an open mind.
#2 Never pass up free chocolate.
#5 Smile- Surprisingly it does make you feel better, and it scares your enemies.
#8 Strive to have high friends in low places and low friends in high places.
#15 Everybody is somebody, including your waiter, cleaning crew, parking attendant, or worst enemy.
#18 There are few crimes lower than destoying someone's faith for your own pleasure.
#27 Give everyone the benefit of the doubt, just don't forget why you doubted them in the first place.
#33 Whenver forced to choose between A or B, always choose C.
#45 The universe as we know it is only about 10% fact. The rest is suppostion, imagination, bias, assumption, prejudice, deduction, and expectation if not down right illusion. And I think that 10% number is high.
#46 The secret to magic is the manipulation of that 90%.
#58 Laying blame has only one use, to give you an excuse not to deal with the problem.
#59 Punishing the scapegoat just leaves you with the bloated corpse of a goat to deal with, along with the original problem.
Posted by Deirdre (Member # 4200) on :
#101 Everyone should always be sure to read the entire thread before posting.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
#115 - Start your list of rules on a high number and people will think you're extremely principled.
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
Two good rules for living:
1. Don't tell people everything you know. 2.
Posted by Zalmoxis (Member # 2327) on :
Tom: So who is your favorite Muppet?
I vacillate between Beaker, Lew Zealand and Gonzo. Although I'm also partial to Rowlf.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
I am slightly ashamed -- although I should not be, I'm sure -- to admit that Kermit is my favorite Muppet. I know this is like saying Paul's your favorite Beatle, but what can you do?
Posted by Zalmoxis (Member # 2327) on :
Ah, but Tom, even those of us on the Muppet fringes recognize that wihout Kermit there are no Muppets. The little green guy is the heart and soul (and brain) of the whole enterprise and unlike Mickey Mouse, even though he has reached iconic status he still is interesting and, oddly enough, very human.
Besides, Kermit still does a slow burn better than Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler or any of those other comic wannabes.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
*had a crush on Kermit*
Have you ever heard him sing "If I were a poet?" *dreamy*
Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
If I were a poet I would write a sonnet It would say I love you Your name would be on it. (Tra la la la la la la la la la .........)
[ March 02, 2004, 02:01 PM: Message edited by: UofUlawguy ]
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
I never liked the muppets much.
I do like Grover, though.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
This is my latest rule: Never tell God what you WILL NOT do.
The simplest explanation is most often correct, but sometimes the simplest solution is wrong in very interesting ways.
Never ask a woman if she is pregnant.
Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
Rule: People's feelings matter. When deciding whether to open your mouth, give great weight to the consequences to the feelings of others.
Rule: Bottling anger up inside is not the only alternative to expressing it. Just let it go.
Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :
#1 No.
Posted by Zalmoxis (Member # 2327) on :
I truly do try to abide by this one:
#832 No more than 5 non sequiturs per day (that includes all verbal and written communications).
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
#17) "At least once in your life, everyone should fall headlessly, giddilly, stupidly silly, sacharinly sweet and gooey in love."
And Bob--the Pregnant question, that is sooo true.
Posted by Danzig (Member # 4704) on :
Rule 0: Try hard not to lie to strangers. Try harder not to lie to people you care about. Try hardest not to lie to yourself.
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
quote: Have at least two hobbies that involve creation
I so read this as "Have at least two hobbits."
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
Tom -- does your belief that "Violence is never an acceptable solution." only apply to violence against humans? For example, are you against the killing of animals, trees, grass, insects, etc?
I might be missing the point entirely, because I didn't understand what you meant as to the emphasis being on "acceptable".
I promise I am not being sarcastic, purposely obtuse, nor am I trying to pick a fight.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
You know, we don't quote Tom Waits nearly enough on this board:
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
that is sooo true.