This is topic Casting Consequences in forum Fragments and Feedback for Short Works at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.


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Posted by Heresy (Member # 1629) on :
 
I was hoping to get some feedback on this story. It's fairly short (about 3400 words). Here's the first few lines of it. Let me know what you think and if you're interested in reading the whole thing to critique it. Thanks.

* * *

Walking into King Aldred’s court, Herrik was nervous. It was his first time at court, and today he was to be part of the entertainment at the farewell feast for Viscount Merrol. Herrik mentally ran through the spells he had to cast and when he was to cast them, trying to calm his nerves. Keep focused on the task at hand, he told himself. He looked around the room, surprised at the size of it. He supposed that he should have expected it to be large, since the feast was being held there, but he was still surprised. Banners of many colors hung from the ceiling, one for each of the noble houses in the land of Raekel, where King Aldred reigned. Those in attendance at the feast were seated at long tables set in a square, leaving the middle open. They all sat on one side of the table so that they could see the entertainment, which was to be performed in the center of the box created by the tables. Lords and ladies sat together, eating and laughing and drinking. The king, his queen and their five children all sat at one table, which had been raised above the others on a dais. The guest of honor, the Viscount, sat beside the king, and was laughing at something the king had said. It seemed that none of them had noticed the arrival of the next part of the entertainment.
 


Posted by Penboy_np (Member # 1615) on :
 
I'm sure I'd enjoy it.
 
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
 
I'd be willing to take a gander as well.
 
Posted by Kolona (Member # 1438) on :
 
I'm not into fantasy, but I'll take a quick look.
 
Posted by Balthasar (Member # 5399) on :
 
Ditto.
 
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
 
Heresy, I've had some problems getting back in touch with you. I think that the story is interesting, but there doesn't seem to be any real conflict. More when I can e-mail you.
 
Posted by cvgurau (Member # 1345) on :
 
Sounds interesting. Send it over, and I'll take a look, but add HATRACK STORY in the subject line, or I likely won't notice it. (All emails are sent to my trash unless their on my safe list. Yours likely won't be).

Chris

 


Posted by Christine (Member # 1646) on :
 
I'd be willing to take a look at it. Send it along. (Make sure your subject is clear so I don't delete it.)
 


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