It is a peculiar sensation when one is spinning and cannot open one's eyes. This was what atributed to the disorienting headache that pounded my skull. I remembered nothing, could see nothing, could hear nothing. To feel was my only sense, and the experience my only memory. I believe time passed, but there was no way to measure it. In the distance I began to hear sounds, unrecognizable intervals of deep and high pitches. I could identify between the pauses and the sounds, and soon that indentification expanded to hear a difference in voice. The sounds came nearer, but didn't grow louder, and fazed into speech I could recognize, but couldn't yet understand.
"The specimin shows only minor signs of cognition. It is likely he'll be dead within the hour, the experiment is a failure."
"Not according to these readings." There was a pause.
"Number IV is awaking."
Posted by Rahl22 (Member # 1411) on :
Hey Alias, interesting intro! However, if you're hoping for people to read it, you should really post so. Also, it would be helpful if you mentioned the genre, and length as well.
Posted by Kolona (Member # 1438) on :
First thing I thought of when I read your excerpt, Alias, was Poe's opening to The Pit and the Pendulum:
quote:I was sick -- sick unto death with that long agony; and when they at length unbound me and I was permitted to sit, I felt that my senses were leaving me. The sentence -- the dread sentence of death -- was the last distinct accentuation which reached my ears.
What was that on the other thread about no new ideas, just new ways to present ideas? It's all in the telling, folks.
Posted by Alias (Member # 1645) on :
Thanks Kolona. I admire your analysis, and find it very entertaining. It is nevertheless wrong, and I can see you don't have a true grasp as for what is going on in my story. This is expected of course, since I have only included this little piece.
For the record I must embarassingly admit that I have never heard of the piece of writing you were quoting.
Posted by Kolona (Member # 1438) on :
Oh, I don't mean to imply your excerpt is the same, only reminiscent of the Poe segment. Every reader brings something of himself and his life experiences to everything he reads, and I guess this is just an indication of that. It wasn't a quality or content comment at all. Just a personal observation.
Posted by Alias (Member # 1645) on :
Oh, then I apologize for misunderstanding. I have to agree with your observation completely. Even though that particular text didn't contribute to my writing this, I'm sure others subconsciously have.
It is my opinion that writing a story is the habit of regurgitating old works in the form of new patterns and arrangements.
Posted by Kolona (Member # 1438) on :
Exactly. I knew you weren't regurgitating the Spanish Inquisition here.
But are you looking for reaction to your posted excerpt only? If you're looking for more, ditto on Rahl's comments, including the fact that's it's an interesting start.
Posted by Sachant (Member # 1648) on :
Oooh.. you MUST read the Pit and the Pendulum. Great story.
By the way... If I ever get up the energy, I have a fascinating philosophy piece by Poe called "The Philosophy of Furniture". It sounds strange at first but it's fascinating.
As for the writing, it definetly reminds me of something I have read before. This is NOT a bad thing since if I remember it, it must have been of note and good.
