As soon as I saw the title of this story, I was hooked...
The Wages of Syntax by Ray Vukcevich
quote: Shoot him.
Poison him.
Feed him to the alligators. Tie him up first. Make sure the alligators are really really hungry. Don't feed them for weeks. Wait until they're so hungry you've got to poke them back into their scummy concrete pond with a big stick.
Smother him.
Run over him with your car, and if you get caught, claim it was an accident. Be distraught. Cry real tears. My god, my god.
Posted by Christine (Member # 1646) on :
Very amusing. I'm wavering between hook and line on this one. I would definitely want to keep going to see what all this is about, but from this opening I expect the rest of the story to follow in the same light, amusing pattern.
OK, yeah, I'm hooked. I just decided. This is good.
Posted by Jules (Member # 1658) on :
Oh, forgot to post the link.
Anyone who wants to keep reading can find it online here:
Actually, I read that. The intro was good, but it went on waaayyyy too long and then the actual story was only ok.
Posted by Phanto (Member # 1619) on :
Hook, as I would keep reading for a while, with an amused smile on my face. This kind of opening, however, should, imo, lead to the plot very quickly, or the reader will get bored.
Posted by TheoPhileo (Member # 1914) on :
Yeah, I'm hooked for at least the first page or two, but it would have to stay interesting after this quirky introduction.
Posted by Gwalchmai (Member # 1807) on :
Guess since I read the intro then saw the link and immediately clicked on it, it must have been a hook for me too. First chapter does go on a bit but at least he breaks it up with little descriptions of some of the more bizarre methods of killing him.
Posted by GZ (Member # 1374) on :
Hook. It's quirky and strange, in an engaging way. A sense of humor is there right below the surface.
But I'm pretty biased as well. I've read a lot of Ray Vukcevich's stories, all of which are quirky and strange in (usually, although a few have been too strange) engaging ways, and will read any new ones on contact. If you find you like the world of Ray Vukcevich, try Whispers, originaly published in F&SF, and in his anthology Meet Me in the Moon Room, which I found to be overall fantastic.
[This message has been edited by GZ (edited February 11, 2004).]
Posted by Jerome Vall (Member # 1905) on :
STINKER! I would never read this story.
I'm generally turned off by stories that start with really strange openings (like this one), and I'm very leery of any story that have first lines that drops like an A-Bomb (like this one). I liked to be lulled into the fictional dream, not yanked in and knocked over the head.
Posted by Kolona (Member # 1438) on :
I'll go with Jules here. The title sold me. Posted by TruHero (Member # 1766) on :
I'd say LINE on this one, I didn't hate it. A little too corny. It did bring to mind A NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS, the song about kidnapping Sandy Claws. I love that Movie!
Posted by Gen (Member # 1868) on :
I went and read the story. So I think this would qualify as a hook for me.
Posted by PE_Sharp (Member # 1654) on :
I'd say hook.
Though I can see it is not the most serious or sober sounding prose, and I know that this approach does turn off a certain number of people. I have no such requirement in my fictional tastes (if that makes any sense .)
I have saved the story and it is right next to a Story by Lucius Shepard also from scifi.com. He is so hyped and so prolific, I have to read something by him, I am terribly curious.
Oh yeah and on the topic of the above story, it kind of reminded me of Carl Hiasen (sp?) A writer my wife has a few books of.
PE Sharp
Posted by Gen (Member # 1868) on :
In case anyone's curious... Wages of Suntax just made it to the final Nebula ballot (novellete).
.)