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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Sadly we're still sober [Hatrack comes to Canada] (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Sadly we're still sober [Hatrack comes to Canada]
twinky
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[hour one, still sober]

pod: Bob is a ho-bag.

twinky: is ho-bag hyphenated or just one big word?

pod: No i think ho-bag is hyphenated.

Bob: yeah we could make this entire post about ho-bags, by which i mean jai...

pod: Hey!

Twinky: we need an introduction.

Ophelia: no i think this is a good introduction

Bob: what kind of introduction do we need, it hink this is a perfect introduction.

Jaiden: it hink? ::laughing::

*pod looks irritated

twinky: weeep wooop weeep wooop weeep

all: ::laughter::

bob: i'm sure there's a rolling laughter smilie somewhere you can use.

pod: a what?

ophelia: it really looks like twinky's a robot up there.

*twinky continues playing guitar and ignoring everyone else.

pod: okay so now what?

jaiden: how come i only have one line?

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mackillian
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Jaiden, give everyone a wedgie.

Then they'll be SURE to give you more lines. [Big Grin]

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Ophelia
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[hour three and then some, pretty schnockered]

Well, as the current drunkest one of the bunch, I suppose I have the dubious honor of writing the next post. Pod was drunker than I was, but he goes through drunken stages quicker than anything I've ever seen (and I used to bartend at a concert park, so I've seen some pretty drunken stages).

Despite our best efforts, Bob is still sober, but hopefully next time he will give in to the encouragement of Jaiden and myself and have his first drink. The rest of us have had a few and are now hanging around in twinky's cousin's basement. Whoo!

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twinky
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Pod: "There is nothing funny about this situation."

Well.

I'm inclined to disagree. The situation, as it stands, is as follows:

After that first post, we went to a little pub near Eglinton & Yonge in Toronto (I live in Toronto at the moment). Okay. Now, Pod apparently has some sort of alcohol allergy, but on the other hand he was warming up for his 21st birthday, and he is, after all, in Canada.

2 1/2 pints later, he threw up on the subway on the way home.

Yes, on the subway.

Read that again.

We'd had Indian food in London for dinner, and you could definitely smell that on the subway.

Ewwwwwww.

Pod goes through the stages of drunkenness several orders of magnitude faster than anyone else in the history of the universe. Seriously. He got drunk, got dizzy, threw up, sobered up, got dizzy again, then developed a hangover-type headache. He is currently dozing off.

Ophelia is in her happy place. Jaiden and I are not quite drunk, but close. Bob the Lawyer, of course, does not drink. Nonetheless, we've had a great time thus far.

Earlier this afternoon, we played minigolf in London. The damage was:

twinky: 60 – FLAWLESS VICTORY!
Jaiden: 64
Pod: 65
Bob the Lawyer: 63
Ophelia: 77 – bringin' up the rear
[Wink]

Yeah, that's right. Victory was mine.

That more or less brings us up to date. (Well, aside from my "date" last night with she-who-shall-not-be-named.)

Noteworthy quotes from the evening:

"If we can't find a bar to get drunk at on a Saturday night in Toronto, Hatrack Canada is a failure."

(Hatrack.ca is definitely not a failure [Big Grin] ).

[The Wave]

[Evil]

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Jaiden
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I've been told I need to post at least to say "I'm here!"

We started out in London and, although prevoiusly noted by us all, we re-figured out that London is boring. And so now we're in Toronto [Smile]

Meeting up was easy- Twinky, Pod and I all looked at each other a few times before connected a to b. Although we waited in the bus station, Bob is apparently a ninja of some sort and he escaped before we were able to catch him. He called my cell. He has terrific timing since as we walked out the door to meet him, Ophellia was there waiting at a red light. Apparently Bob jumped into the wrong vehical though.....

We minigolfed and got Indian food, dropped by at my house a couple of times, semi-randomly drove to Toronto, hit a bar and now we're at Twinky's cousin house with Pod sleeping, Twinky's playing the guitar, and Ophelia, Twinky and Bob talking about devil smilley [Evil] [Smile]

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Bob the Lawyer
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I feel Hatrack needs to know the truth about Ophelia.
She's a mooch.
And not just any mooch, a thieving mooch.
She somehow "accidentally" slipped stealthily into the subway without spending any of the money I gave to her. This had the air of practice to it.
Now, I know I'm a ninja (as Jaiden has been so kind to point out. And how the hell was I supposed to know that Jaiden wasn't a 30-year old black woman who drives a black Nissan?) but that girl has some mad ninja skills.
Although less so when she's drunk. Ninjas don't giggle. At least the good ones don't.
At any rate. She bummed money of twinky and I for all her food and drinks. We've come to the conclusion that if I'm ever in Detroit with her, she'll take a mugging for me.

We've also decided the next Hatrack Canada will focus around Lego [Big Grin]

Right. And Jaiden's a ho-bag. Hobag. Ho Bag. However you want to spell it. [Razz]
(you know, I think it should be hyphenated, now that I see them all written out)
I think Ophelia said it best about Jaiden when she said, "You don't SEEM brain damaged to me" [Smile]

I'd tell you all the dirt on our good friend twinky, but I'm worried he'd send "The Man" after me. I don't know what an oil company would do to me, but I already don't drive. I think they're mad enough at me for that, I don't need to make the situation worse.

Ted's a cheap drunk. And by cheap I mean, think nickels and dimes here cheap. The cheapness of Ted's drunkeness needs to be experienced to be fully understood.
But I don't want to make it sound like all he is is a cheap drunk. He also turns red in the face and gets all huffy when "Grow" is used in transitive. I think that was the problem, it was hard to make out what he was saying through the foam in his mouth. Needless to say, "Grow your world" is apparently wrong.

Which leves me (apparently I think I need soaping up). The most strinking this is that I cannot speak. All the drunkards speak more goodly than I do (they may have you believe they're not drunk. Don't believe them).
I'm also a complete loud mouthed jerk. Which is hard for a man that can't speak. But somehow I get by.

Anyway. I should be going. I've een hitting on Jaiden all day and now Pod's unconscious [Evil]

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twinky
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A couple of choice quotes from the evening:

"Is that a mime on a bicycle?"

(Yes, yes... it really was a mime on a bicycle. I kid you not. A real bicycle, not an invisible mime-type bicycle.)

[Big Grin]

"I'm a linguistics major but I only speak one language."

(Says Pod. And it's true. What the hell kind of "linguistics" is he studying, anyway? [Wink] )

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twinky
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P.S. Mack, Jaiden did attempt to give one wedgie (to Pod), but I think she didn't want to damage the proverbial goods, so she went easy on him.

[Big Grin]

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twinky
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Hatrack.ca v1.0 – Post-mortem

I just got home from breakfast/lunch with BtL, Pod, Jaiden, and Ophelia. After the drunken hangout last night, we sorted out some sleeping arrangements (BtL and I wound up sleeping on the world's lumpiest makeshift bed) and then got up at elevenish this morning to spend some quality time with my GameCube. Much smack was laid and much trash was talked, but when my cousin and his girlfriend finally stopped fighting for 30 consecutive seconds we decided that it was time to sneak out for some food.

At lunch, we re-learned that BtL simply cannot help running off at the mouth. His new project is to "break down the barriers between men," which sounds vaguely homoerotic to me. Pod was taken aback that I had referred to his goods as "proverbial" whilst he was innocently unconscious. "Proverbial goods?"

Ophelia was kind enough to insist on buying us all lunch, which absolves her of "mooch" status.

The rest of them are now on their way back to Waterloo/London/Detroit/Columbus, so here I am all by my lonesome.

Methinks it's time for a nap.

It's a shame Thalia couldn't come, we had a marvellous time (or at least, I did). We'll definitely be trying this again in the future.

[Smile]

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twinky
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One more thing:

A definitive consensus was reached last night regarding innuendos. All of the Canadian jatraqueros (and honourary Canadian jatraqueros) present at the first Hatrack.ca meet agreed that the current trend of increasing amounts of innuendo here at Hatrack is the best thing to happen to the forum in a long time. So we'd like to send a collective "thanks!" out to ClaudiaTherese for being so awesomely suggestive.

[Evil]

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ClaudiaTherese
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[Wave]

I am delighted to be of service. of course, though,

[Dont Know]

I have no idea what you're talking about.

[Evil]

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twinky
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Of course not. [Evil Laugh]
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Ophelia
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Well, we dropped Bob off in Waterloo, and then I parted ways with pod and Jaiden in London. Weather and traffic were against my mad Michigan highway driving habits, so I did not make it home in time for dinner, but that's okay; my parents were not terribly worried. I hope pod and Jaiden made it to Columbus okay; they were pretty beat and that's quite a drive.

Anyway, I just wanted to reiterate that I, for one, had a most excellent time, and we should definitely do this again sometime.

Ted, I know you're already sick of the group-hug smilie, but it really must be done: [Group Hug]
Doesn't it look like all of our golfballs have grown faces and arms and are hugging?

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Ophelia
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A few more things we've forgotten to write about:

After minigolf, we goofed around on a playground. It was fun until we got yelled at for being too big. They should make playgrounds for adults; the Hatrack.ca group would then be able to frolick without worrying about breaking things.

Also, Bob the Lawyer took off his pants within five minutes of meeting the rest of us.

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Ryuko
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I thought my best friend was the only one who ever said ho-bag. I stand corrected.
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twinky
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Pod and I also learned that we really are too old for motion-sickness-inducting spinning devices on children's playgrounds [Big Grin]
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TheTick
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quote:
Pod goes through the stages of drunkenness several orders of magnitude faster than anyone else in the history of the universe. Seriously. He got drunk, got dizzy, threw up, sobered up, got dizzy again, then developed a hangover-type headache. He is currently dozing off.
My wife is like that, ever since her surgery. We took her out once, she had half a drink, nearly fell off her barstool (trying to take her clothes off in the bar!), had the hangover on the way home, and was fine by the time we got there.
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Jaiden
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Heya, Ted and I ended up getting into Columbus today at 10:30-ish, right before a "titanic" storm rolled into town (Pod's wording)...

We're now off to get a game cube game for Pod's little brother *waves to everybody*

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twinky
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>> My wife is like that, ever since her surgery. We took her out once, she had half a drink, nearly fell off her barstool (trying to take her clothes off in the bar!), had the hangover on the way home, and was fine by the time we got there. << (Tick)

I'd never seen it before, so I was utterly astounded. [Smile]

*waves to Jaiden*

Glad you guys got to Ohio okay. [Smile]

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Bob the Lawyer
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I'm also glad they got to Ohio Ok, considering I wasn't sure how to get out of Waterloo and back on the 401 so I just made something up [Razz]

Argh! Jaiden's going to be playing MORE gamecube games? I still haven't recovered from the drubbings I received by her hand while playing Super Smash Brothers (or whatever to GC iteration is called).

I'm not surprised Ophelia remembers that I took off my pants, considering how close she was to getting in them [Wink]

Anyway, my ulterior motive for bumping this thread is to ask Pod/Jaiden if they're going to send us the pictures they took. I realize Jaiden will have deleted every single one with as much as her shadow in them by now, but there were plenty of others! Come on, people! Out with the goods!

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twinky
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Word. I want the pics too. I can probably even host some of them at the expense of my tunes for a while.

Really, what's a little pant removal between friends? [Wink]

The GC iteration is Super Smash Brothers: Melee or SSBM for short.

As an aside, I completed Skies without breaking a sweat on Monday and will be summarily giving (yes, giving, not lending) it to Fred. [Razz]

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Pod
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I would like to remind everyone that Bob is a ho-bag. A lying, filthy, un-panted ho-bag. Who jumps in strangers' cars.

On the other hand, he is worth tolerating for his one liners. Example:

[setting: walking through toronto late at night, passing a darkned convience store]
pod: "well thats not terribly convienent."
bob: "if this was Quebec, they'd still be open and selling alcohol to 5 year olds."
pod" "what?!"

oh and on another note:
Pictures

The batteries died before the drunkeness, so only pre-partying pictures of putt putt.

[ September 03, 2003, 12:46 PM: Message edited by: Pod ]

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Kayla
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In defense of pod, I also have that problem. Although, unlike pod, I'm not Asian, so it's a bit of a mystery as to why/how I have the problem. [Wink]

quote:
People of Asian descent have lower rates of alcoholism than those of European and African ancestry.

Decades of research indicate this is largely due to a "protective mutation" of a liver enzyme.

Genetic mutation of aldehyde dehydrogenase (ALDH) leads to a form of "alcohol intolerance."

Researchers in Taiwan recently found a rare individual, an alcoholic with two copies of the genetic mutation. Think of a person's genetic makeup as a gigantic orchestra. Each of the instruments' notes represents a gene, a protein. Various cell types can combine notes and chords into simple or complex variations. Sometimes the music flows seamlessly, sometimes a wayward note can destroy a certain passage, even the entire concert. Gene mutations are like discordant musical notes. Just as mutation of the hemoglobin gene can cause sickle cell anemia, so too can genetic mutation of the liver enzyme aldehyde dehydrogenase (ALDH) cause a person to have an aversive reaction to alcohol.

The bad news is that people who naturally have this genetic mutation and nonetheless drink alcohol will likely experience unpleasant consequences. The good news is that people with this genetic mutation rarely develop alcohol disorders such as alcoholism. Approximately 50 percent of Chinese and Japanese, but only two percent of Chinese and Japanese alcoholics, inherit the mutated form of ALDH. There is a virtual absence of the mutated ALDH gene among European and African ancestry. When compared to other ethnic groups, people of Asian descent experience lower rates of alcoholism and higher rates of abstinence from alcohol.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/psychiatry-research/message/287

So there. At least pod and I have little chance of being alcoholics. [Razz]

[ September 03, 2003, 04:33 PM: Message edited by: Kayla ]

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Kayla
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Also, isn't it odd that everyone has accepted Bob the lawyer even though he is neither a Bob, nor a lawyer?
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saxon75
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Actually, the ALDH mutation does not cause a person to go through the stages of drunkenness more quickly.

Breaks down like this:

The body metabolizes alcohol in two stages. First it converts the alcohol into an aldehyde, then it converts the aldehyde into simple carbohydrates. The enzyme called aldehyde dehydrogenase (ALDH) is the chief agent in converting the aldehyde into simple carbs. People who have the ALDH mutation still produce ALDH, but they produce a variant that converts aldehyde at a much slower rate, therefore the aldehyde remains in the system longer and will build up to a higher level. Aldehyde is a toxic substance, so retaining it in your system causes a pretty violent nausea; it's not fun at all.

Some Asians and Native Americans have a second mutation that causes them to get drunk more quickly, but it's a separate phenomenon. I started looking into this my freshman year of college when I was trying to figure out why my hangovers were orders of magnitude worse than anyone else's. Basically I vomit every 15-20 minutes from about 8AM to about 1PM, after which point I am still queasy until about 5 or 6 (although after what I've been through all morning that feels downright pleasant). But I still become intoxicated at about the same rate as anyone else (though I don't do so very often anymore).

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Pod
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hmmm i knew what kayla said, but i was unaware of that Saxon. Thats interesting. What i had always assumed, was that since i don't process alcohol properly (at aformentioned latent rate), what would happen is that my blood alcohol level would simply keep climbing until i stopped drinking, at which point my body just starts trying to pass the alcohol out of my system. Thus, i don't retain the characteristics of being drunk for terribly long after drinking.

All in all, it makes drinking pretty boring. So i haven't ever worried about alcoholism, because i'm not too terribly interested in being drunk that often.

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Pod
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And damn it, comment people comment! Thats why foobonic has the comment function avaliable!
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twinky
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Huzzah! Pictures at last!

[Big Grin]

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Bob the Lawyer
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Man, I love this page.
You know, I'm taking a closer look at that hug Ophelia posted. Now, she said that it looked like golf ball to her. Wasn't I the pink golf ball? Wasn't she orange? Is it just me or is that little orange hand a *little* lower than it should be on the pink fellow's back(side) [Eek!] [Wink]

[ September 03, 2003, 04:20 PM: Message edited by: Bob the Lawyer ]

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Ophelia
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[Eek!]

Um. Well. I'm short. My arms don't reach very high . . . [Wink]

I have a couple of pictures, too. When wireless stops being such a bitch I will add them to the bunch.

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Xavier
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I wish I could have hung out with you guys. This was one gathering I think I would have fit in at quite nicely [Frown] .
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Jaiden
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You'll have to come up and visit us *grins*

I'm sure we could throw togeather another last minute Ontario Hatracker get togeather if you made your way up [Big Grin]

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twinky
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Word. Especially after how awesome the first one was. [Smile]
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Pod
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actually, i'll be headed up this weekend for 2 weeks probably.

heh

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Bob the Lawyer
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So how 'bout it, Xav. What are you doing this weekend? [Razz]
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Ralphie
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Woman. Get your butticus ON AIM. [Mad]
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Pod
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alright, so second gathering. when?
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twinky
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I'm not in Ontario at the moment, but I'll be back on Saturday. This weekend is probably bad for me, though, simply because I have to move and unpack and whatnot.
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Pod
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The following weekend is fine for me as well. (although i should check with jaiden)
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ak
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That looked like great fun! We should make playground outings de rigeur for hatrack picnics from now on. I know after the LA picnic 3 years ago I will never host one without building a fire! <laughs>

So what other features should be included in the ideal hatrack picnic? I've got this huge house here and I'm seriously going to start hosting some gatherings soon. (When I'm in the country, that is.)

Other than good food, fire, and playgrounds what should we always include?

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Ralphie
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You guys got together, originally, from my love-fest thread dedicated to Bob t Lawyer. And here you're getting together a second time, without the Ralphster. I should demand fun royalties. [Frown]
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Pod
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and exactly how are you going to claim them?

::points and laughs from the other side of the country::

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Jaiden
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She'll have to come to get 'em *nods head wisely*
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Elizabeth
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OK, I can't stand it anymore.

WHAT IS AIM??????????

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Jaiden
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AOL instant messenger [Smile]

It's like ICQ and MSN Messenger [Smile]

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Xavier
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quote:
The following weekend is fine for me as well. (although i should check with jaiden)
Hmmm, thats when I'll likely start my drive to San Diego. I wonder if theres some way to take a detour north along the way. I'm having a going-away party at my place either that Friday or Saturday though, so I'm not sure I'll be able to make it in time.

No chance of hanging out sometime that week?

(If not, its no problem)

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Bob the Lawyer
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Any time works for me. I'm pretty sure I won't be leaving Southern Ontario for years and years to come. Pod's likely the one who's going to be causing people trouble.
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mackillian
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Pod is always causing people trouble. [Wink]
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Pod
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X: i'll be there all week doing nothing during the day time, so if you want to drop by, i'll be around, however jaiden will be in class, though i can't speak for whether anybody else will be free.
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Jaiden
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Hmmm... my schedule next week...

Mon: 10:30am - 1:30pm Class
Tues: 9:00am - ? Doctors Appointment; 11:00am - 7:00pm Classes
Wed: 10:00am - 4:00pm Classes
Thurs: 7:00am - 3:00pm Classes; 4:00pm - ? Dentist appointment
Fri: 11:00am - 3:00pm Classes; 3:30pm - ? School Related Appointment (I can rebook this one)

(Why in the world do I have so many appointments this week?!?!)

I'd suggest not working around my schedule [Smile]

There's always space at my place for people- maybe not comfortably, but people are always welcome. So if you need a place to stay (Xavier or anybody else) give us two hours notice and we'll make sure somebody is around to greet you [Smile]

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