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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Somebody please take my keys away

   
Author Topic: Somebody please take my keys away
fiazko
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Because I don't have enough trouble with my car (and unlike mack, it's usually my fault), I keep running into things. Luckily, they are inanimate objects that don't carry insurance, but I've exchanged a fairly significant amount of paint on both sides of my car. I'm already crossing my fingers that my clutch doesn't go out before I can sell a kidney to get money for a new one. I don't want to have to deal with body work on top of that. *sigh*

Anyone got any get rich quick schemes? Preferably ones that work without me having to (any more than I already do).

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Bob_Scopatz
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Well, don't try robbing banks. At least not if you intend to drive the getaway car.
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mackillian
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I'd drive, but the engine would fall out and then someone would hit us.
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BYuCnslr
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:: takes your keys ::
:: takes your car ::

You'll still pay for insurance, right?
Satyagraha

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fiazko
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Sadly, yes, I would still pay for insurance.
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BYuCnslr
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Squee!!! I can drive around! Don't worry, I'll be safe!
Satyagraha

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fiazko
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Just keep in mind that the clutch could go at any time. And the brakes are pretty worn. Plus, it's a station wagon. A "luxury" station wagon, but still a station wagon.
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BYuCnslr
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:: laughs ::
Don't worry, the "power steering" on my old volvo (which has been sold since I went to college) was more of "strongman power steering" and didn't work under 20 miles per hour...when you're driving around a tank made of steel, you learn to adapt to the car.
Satyagraha

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fiazko
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Oh, don't get me started on my power steering pump.
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Farmgirl
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fiazko -- if you keep running into things, have you THOUGHT seriously about having your eyes checked? Maybe your depth perception is off...

FG

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fiazko
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Thanks, Farmgirl. I never really thought about it, but it could be a real possibility. I've always had some trouble with depth perception. I swear my arms are shorter than I think they are. I need to get my eyes checked soon, anyway. I'll try to remember to bring that up.
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Ryan Hart
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Now selling your body sounds like a good idea, but it's not. When that failed I tried to steal the hope Diamond. That failed too.

I suggest a lemonade stand. Works for cute 5 year olds, why not you.

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fiazko
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Cute is pushing it as it is, and while I'm older than I look, i definitely couldn't pass as 5. I can throw a mean tantrum now and then...
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