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I know I put a preview on CT's matchmaker thread. I was laughing so hard at the time I couldn't type, and then had to go to my boss' 35th anniversary (with the company) luncheon.
It may appear far less funny in cold prose than it did IRL, for which I apologize.
There is this crazy Russian guy who occasionally pops into our lab from another department in the company looking for obscure things. Normally I don't use stereotypes like "crazy Russian". This is not meant to offend. He just happens to fit said stereotype to a T. Normally he is looking for something interesting like hydrofluoric acid,concentrated H2O2 (conc. is nasty stuff) or wanting to borrow our offical calibrated weights so that he can teach his kid the metric system (not a bad idea but calibrated weights are expensive not to mention the company's!)
Anyway today he came in all agitated (his normal state) about some sort of stain on his shirt. Said his wife would kill him if he didn't get it out. The shirt was an extremely low-quality shirt, not even button-down or a polo. I have seen him wear much nicer before so I don't know that, it was worth the anxiety. He also works in a group where you are going to get grease on your clothes and everyone understands why you don't wear nice stuff unless you have a meeting.
I have no idea what sort of stain remover my boss gave him or even if he asked permission to use our chemicals. However I walked out of my office to log some data and there he was standing at one of our lab sinks in full view with shirt removed attempting to remove the stain.
He was wearing a tank top type undershirt, unfortunately his physique is such that calling it scrawny is generous. I have seen guys (like ex-navy seals) that look just fine in those kind of shirts. He is anything but. I'm sure his wife loves him, but I have no desire to view something that clearly the sun hasn't shined on for decades. Not to mention he is using dangerous organic chemicals under a hood while only partially clothed and violating every lab safety rule in the book.
I have my back to him as I'm logging in data. The secretary (the only other female in the departmen) comes in and rolls her eyes. She is the sort who says what she thinks and she went over and gave him her two cents on the matter. I am at this point having extreme difficulty keeping a straight face, but still managing to do my job.
Then my boss comes in and starts giving the guy the exact same "appearances are reality" speech that I have gotten on at least two occasions for having my desk cluttered. At this point I lose it because while I may have a cluttered desk I have never attempted to strip while in the lab! I run back to the other guys offices where I can't be heard and begin laughing like a hyena. Once I recover enough to speak again I explain the situation, and they all laugh too because they know exactly the crazy Russian guy i'm talking about. Did I mention the Russian guy's name is Vladmir?
I come down the hall still recovering and trying to cover my snickers with a "coughing" fit. When my boss comes around the corner and begins giving me a lecture on taking care of myself because he doesn't need me getting sick again. I'm like "No, really, I'll be just fine I'm NOT getting sick", but since Vladmir is still working away on the shirt I can't actually explain why I'm having a "coughing" attack. Anyway Florian goes on his "taking care of your health" speech#27. This of course I also find funny and increases my coughing. Eventually Vladmir got his shirt back on and left, and we all emerged from hiding. But I'm still chuckling and it is hours later!
So, the lab director is named "Florian" and you have a crazy Russian named "Vladimir" running around your lab half-naked!
It sounds like you're working in a lab at S.P.E.C.T.R.E. If you see a suave British agent walking around, leave immediately!!! Bombs are going to go off soon!
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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<laughs> Ah, AJ, that's a scream! Amka has a Russian husband named Vladmir, but he's always struck me as a very calm staid sort. Are you sure your naked Vlad isn't Amka's Vlad, though?
And how cool that Florian knows about the lecture list!!!!! The lecture list is a great resource for parents and bosses everywhere! (Only #27 is most definitely the one about the importance of proteins in the diet. Just ask Anna or Jaiden. They've heard that one many times. The lecture about taking care of your health must be another number.)
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Ah, of course! 27<octal> = 23<decimal> and THAT'S the correct lecture number for the one about taking care of your health! Posts: 5509 | Registered: May 1999
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I'm almost tempted to show this thread to Florian, because I know he'd get a kick out of his octal numbering system. He's almost as nerdy as I am. More in some instances even though we have huge generation gap!
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Just ask Anna or Jaiden. They've heard that one many times. The lecture about taking care of your health must be another number.) ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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