Only today, I realized that its title, "Last Letter from Bob
Dana, does this sound familiar?
quote: Dear Friends:
It is important for men to remember that as women grow older it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as they did when they were younger. When men notice this, they should try not to yell. Let me relate how I handle the situation.
When I got laid off from my consulting job and took "early retirement" in April, it became necessary for Nancy to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for health benefits that we need. It was shortly after she started working that I noticed that she was beginning to show her age.
I usually get home from fishing or hunting about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says that she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts supper. I try not to yell, instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she finally does get supper on the table. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It is now not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after supper.
I do what I can by reminding her several times each evening that they aren't cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to help her get them done before she goes to bed.
Now that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of this. As long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening I am willing to overlook it.
Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing. This gives her little more time to do some of those odds and ends things like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting. Also, if I have had a really good day fishing, this allows her to gut and scale the fish at a more leisurely pace.
Nancy is starting to complain a little occasionally. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. In spite of her complaining, I continue to try to offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any, if you know what I mean.
When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. I tell her that as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me and take her break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Nancy on a daily basis. I'm not saying that the ability to show this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible. No one knows better than I do how frustrating women can become as they get older. However, guys, even if you just yell at your wife a little less often because of this article, I will consider that writing it was worthwhile.
Signed, Bob
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Bob's funeral was on Saturday, January 25th. Nancy was acquitted Monday, January 27th.
My first dinner for my fiance was grilled swordfsh with a molasses, ginger, nutmeg, cinnamon, and orange juice marinade with a mango plantain chutney over cous cous.
posted
Actually, it's a pretty good match of temperaments and skills. I don't obsess over housekeeping and neither does Dana. But I actually enjoy doing dishes and ironing. And while I do enjoy cooking, I have a lot to learn in that department.
Whereas Dana is not necessarily averse to ironing or doing dishes, they aren't her favorite chores. She not only enjoys cooking but is phenomenal at it.
We both like to bake, however, and there it seems like we'll have fun testing each other's recipes and using each other's bakeware. In fact, we are going to have to do an inventory of all the stuff we own mutually to see if there is any particular type or item of bakeware that we are missing.
So far, we haven't really come up with any serious deficiencies.
I have to say, however, that I don't really think I'm in courtship mode regarding my ironing and dishwashing. I think Dana wouldn't have cared if we'd let the stuff soak for awhile.
More like she got worried that I actually did care about dishes.
The ironing was a mandatory thing.
Can't meet the parishioners all wrinkly. They might've gotten the wrong idea.
"Sure, they're a cute couple, but their clothing was suspiciously rumpled."
Sadly, my clothing was rumpled from being in a suitcase for several days. And Dana's clothes were rumpled because washable silk is a nice fabric that was really meant to be dry cleaned anyway, no matter what it says on the label.
Plus there was a brand new table cloth to attend to. Fresh out of the packaging with little square lines all over it.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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Ya know, that's just one more thing to clear out of the closets before Bob moves in....
It's your own fault. I wasn't gonna comment, then you sent me the link to the thread, so I figured it was fair game.
Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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Watch it or I'll lock you in the ax murderer room. Bob's already said he's never going down there.
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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You know, it would be just as effective to threaten to make the bridesmaid dresses lime green or some other color I look hideous in. That would shut me up, too.
Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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Dana, didn't we narrow it down to lime green or orange sherbet colors for the bridesmaids? I seem to remember dresses in one color with huge bows on the back in the contrasting color...
Pretty sure that was it.
We want the wedding party visible from space. Even from inside a building.
ElJay...I really have no illusions on the dishes or ironing. I know that the ironing board was out there mainly for some other project, or maybe to provide another horizontal surface. Frankly, it felt just like home.
As for the dishes, I'm not all that worried about it. Sometimes I'll let a pot soak overnight even.
There are other more important things. Like Dana has offered to shovel all the snow that needs shoveling. And she says I don't have to fetch things from the basement...scary basement...
Seeing as how the shower is actually in the basement, though, I might have some serious cleanliness issues of my own to deal with. I may have to fix that tub upstairs afterall, and maybe install a shower hose thingy.
Or maybe I'll just walk through the local car wash.
<------gigantic basement phobia due to early childhood traumatic events in basement...
I especially don't do well with basement drains....
Attics are bad too.
Basically, just give me a house with no attic and no basement and I'll be fine.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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"I know that the ironing board was out there mainly for some other project, or maybe to provide another horizontal surface. Frankly, it felt just like home."
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Hey, as much as I hate to admit it, I look great in orange sherbert! Um, the color.
And Bob, I'm just teasin'. That's a little sister's perogative. I knew my mature, responsible big sis wasn't misleading you about her fondness for certain types of housework.
I did offer to help install a better shower before the wedding, but she said y'all would probably only be there for a couple of months before her next appointment. Because you gotta remember, the "local" car wash is probably 30 miles away. I don't have a shower in my house at all... I got around it by joining the Y, for times when a bath just won't cut it.