Usually I just lurk, but since this place has been my prime social contact for awhile, I figured I would ask for some advice. After always living within the same county my entire life, my family and I moved a few hours away to a new state several weeks ago. I like our new house and the town, but I'm homesick and miss my friends. I'm a stay at home mom, so I don't have the opportunity to meet new people at work. I feel isolated and can't even find my way to the nearest shopping mall. I've checked out a reading group at the local library, but it's full of senior citizens. I'm tired of having no one but my kiddos and husband to talk to. What's worse is that my son's birthday party is scheduled in a few weeks and a lot of family members aren't coming down for it. I guess this is just a big whiny post, but if anyone has some kind words I'd love to hear them. Posts: 2578 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Aww.. It's so difficult to move to a new place. I've been here for 2 years and I still don't have any close local friends..
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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It's hard to move, especially when you don't easily have a new group to slip into.
It's important to have a social group - everything from physical and mental health to general happiness is affected by it. Hatrack is completely here for you, and I love it for that.
Maybe there's a community center with Jazzercise classes or something there? The one near where I lived had a nursery for the kids, and there were lots of young people there. PHysical excercise is never a bad thing too, so all in all, maybe that's a chance?
I'm glad you spoke up here. Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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Wow, you guys rawk! 3 seconds after my post and I already have replies! Thanks so much. We do have an awesome rec center in town, and I've thought about taking some yoga classes, but....grrr....I always get so nervous trying to talk to new people. It's that weirdo self-esteem thing where I worry that while they're being polite and smiling, underneath they're thinking, "Get back, dork."
Posts: 2578 | Registered: Apr 2004
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The big secret is that most people are thinking that. If it is really unnerving, I'd keep the conversations short at first. Comment about something in the area to have something to talk about, introduce yourself, say it's nice to meet them, and then go. If you keep going, you can repeat the conversation a few times so it isn't as scary, and talk about different things to find something you may have in common.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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I'm moving in four weeks and I'm a stay at home mom too. I'll be by my husband's family and a few hours away from my childhood friends but.. I will miss my friends here... Luckily my church is always a good place to make new friends.
"Make new friends but keep the old for one is silver and the other is gold" just a quote I like
Posts: 1417 | Registered: Aug 1999
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...and by "The big secret is that most people are thinking that", I'm fairly sure that kat means the feeling of nervousness when approaching new people, rather than "get back, dork".
Another thing you can always do is approach somebody in your class that looks interesting and ask them if there is a good X (x being something you're interested in--art museum, thai restaurant, whatever in the area, explaining that you're new in town. If a conversation results, great. If not, no problem.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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Noemon: I was thinking the same thing...lol...great minds think alike, and we do too, I guess.
How far away did you move? If it's not too far you might consider taking your son back for his birthday, and spend the night somewhere if it's too far for a day trip. I don't recommend that as a perminte soultion, but since it is coming up quickliy he might not have a chace to meet new people fast enough. Taking him home for his birthday could be a great persent, and it would be something you would enjoy as well.
Best of luck. When I moved to NE from MI, I hated it at first....well, actually, I still hate it, just not as much. Some of my best friends are from here, as is my wife; so if I haddn't moved here i would have miised out on some really good things in my life.
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Noemon: I was thinking the same thing...lol...great minds think alike, and we do too, I guess.
How far away did you move? If it's not too far you might consider taking your son back for his birthday, and spend the night somewhere if it's too far for a day trip. I don't recommend that as a permanent solution, but since it is coming up quickly he might not have a chance to meet new people fast enough. Taking him home for his birthday could be a great present, and it would be something you would enjoy as well.
Best of luck. When I moved to NE from MI, I hated it at first....well, actually, I still hate it, just not as much. Some of my best friends are from here, as is my wife; so if I hadn't moved here I would have missed out on some really good things in my life.
yay! Space Opera used the word Dork! That means she is truly a mom. This is my kids' favorite word -- and unfortunately, I have picked it up from them.....
How big of a town did you move to? Does it have much to offer?
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I like the idea of asking where places are. As I said, I can't even find my way to the mall, so I suppose not only could that help me make friends, but also leave the house!
There is actually tons to do around here. We are just east of Louisville, KY. I guess I should stop griping and get out there more. My son has already made a ton of friends; in just a few weeks he's already been invited to a sleep-over. The problem w/ his party is that I just got my feelings hurt b/c some of our family members aren't going to come; they seem to be letting a 2 hour drive get in the way.
Thanks for listening, though. I've gone from being a full-time college student in a familiar town to a full-time stay at home mom in a totally unfamiliar place. I think it's a combination of both the move and the personal changes in my life. But still, since I've already made friends with all of you, can't you just move to Kentucky? Posts: 2578 | Registered: Apr 2004
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