posted
This was lame. Not scary at all. The action sequences were just okay. The best thing in here was Frankenstein's monster and even he was kind of goofy.
Why was this movie ever made? What was the point?
And they tried to leave room for a sequel, but does anyone have any clue what monsters are possibly left for the guy to fight? Seems like it's all over.
Ah well:
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REAL SPOILERS:
1. Van Helsing is supposedly immortal, right? But he's able to be killed by just about any ordinary means. So how is it that he's never been killed yet? Just lucky over all those millennia?
2. There's no precedent at all for werewolves attacking vampires in any of the myriad lore of this, let alone having that be the only way to kill Dracula himself. Dopey.
3. Vampire babies? Baby vampires? What the heck is that all about?
4. Life force is transmitted via electrical current but there has to be a living creature in the circuit? And the only one that truly works is Frankenstein's monster? And they KNOW this, but they decide to try other people in there instead? And somehow whatever it was that Dr. Frankenstein figured out (the reanimation of dead tissue) would work in bringing the vampire babies to life, but not in the same way, obviously, and the monster needed to be part of the current? Oh, and it has to be done twice.
5. RULES of werewolves? If you get the antidote before midnight of your first full moon, you're saved? Since when? Who made that up?
6. The female vampires can be killed by a stake through the heart, or holy water. But Dracula himself cannot be killed in either of those two ways. Garlic is part of the travel kit, but nobody ever uses it. Uh huh.
7. Dracula, who has no pulse, bleeds to death.
8. Once the vampire babies are born, the minions have to "keep the air electrified" in the laboratory way on the other side of the castle, or they'll die. But the babies are already flying around many miles away.
9. Mr. Hyde defies the laws of physics by hooking the toes of one foot over the railing on top of Notre Dame cathedral.
10. The police prefect recognizes Van Helsing standing way at the top of Notre Dame Cathedral and yells at him "You murderer," but then fails to surround the cathedral and go get him.
11. The confessional in St. Peter's basilica at the Vatican is really an elevator. Sort of like Get Smart. I expected to see the shoe phone of the fisherman!
12. Cloud cover is enough to allow vampires to roam around during the daytime, and to allow a werewolf to switch back into a man. But a really bright light in one room of a castle turns every vampire inside the castle (anywhere inside the castle) to dust.
13. The friar in the movie gets word to Rome that they've found Frankenstein's monster and gets an answer back, all within a two day period. And yet, it takes our faithful travellers two days just to get from Transylvania to Budapest using "the fastest horses in the world -- not even werewolves can catch them." Of course, the vampires and werewolf DO catch them.
14. a gas powered cross-bow? Why does it need the cross-bow part? Couldn't it just spit out the arrows without having the bow part at all?
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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I saw it, I thought it was a decent popcorn flick, though not one I would bother seeing again. Kate Beckinsdale (sp?) looked good, which made it worth seeing once. Posts: 1901 | Registered: May 2004
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Oh yeah, this way up there on the eye candy chart. No arguments there. I thought Dracula's various wives were pretty good.
By the way, how many wives WERE there? I counted 3, then 4, then 2, then back to 3, then two, then one, then zero. It just got confusing.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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Oh, one other thing. The vampires live in a castle on the other side of a one-way mirrored portal, yet they routinely attack the town which is THROUGH the portal, or you have to fly the long way there and back, right? But, they can't be coming through the portal or the people who LIVED in the house and were searching for the portal would've figured it out long ago, no?
So, it's like days of flying to get there & back. Right? Remember, the horses are supposedly faster... Um, yeah.
This was just so bad. I normally suspend disbelief enough to enjoy a movie, but this one clubbed the audience over the head.
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