posted
I'm working on the guest list and I'm running into a dilemma. We’ve got two lists -- the people we need to send invitations to, and the people we actually expect to come. People on the former list but not the latter include elderly relations who don't travel and relations and colleagues that we aren't very close to but have to invite because we're inviting other people in the same degree of relation. (For example, you can't invite one of your father's cousins without inviting them all, even if you haven't seen some of them in over 25 years).
When we're deciding if we're all going to fit into the reception hall, which list do we use? I'm leaning toward leaving enough space for about half of the people that we're pretty sure won't come. But that means if every single person we send an invitation to does come, we'll have to sit about 50 of them in a separate room or be in violation of fire codes.
But really, what are the chances that every single person we send an invitation to will come? I mean, surely even some of the people on the "we expect they'll come" list will have conflicts, right?
Oh well, worst case scenario, everyone from Hatrack has to sit in the balcony.
posted
I thought the general rule was to figure on 80% attendance. However, we were in the same boat and the majority of the people we did not expect to come (i.e. most of my entire dad's side of the family) did not in fact come, so we had more like a 50% attendance and pretty close to what we had estimated.
It sounds like you're going about it right to me Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2003
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posted
We got a place that's all-inclusive and per person, as long as a minimum is met. Since we know we'll meet the minimum, we've felt pretty safe inviting everyone. If they all show up, we'll be a little crowded, but it'll be fun!
posted
80% would be good. If we get 80% we can have round tables. If we get 85% we’ll have to go with long tables. If we get 90% we’ll be in violation of fire codes if we try to seat everyone in the main room.
(Silly fire marshal – maybe we should just not invite him.)
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
You are probably going to send out some courtesy cards to friends and relatives you have not seen in year that live cross country and will not attend. Don't count these in your attendance estimates. When I married, my parents asked for an extra 50 announcements to send out to their friends and distant family members that I had never even met (none attended, but a few sent presents).
Remember that you may forget some people (current and former neighbors, coworkers, congregation members, classmates, and friends). There will also be people that you intentionally do not invite. Always expect a few of these gate crashers from both groups.
If you plan on 100, you may get 50 or 150. Weather may affect your attendance. Unexpected events (medical emergencies, etc.) may also lower the number and cannot be planned.
You are playing the same game of roullette that many of us have already played.
Airlines overbook and generally get away with it, but a lot of us have been bumped and never have good memories of that situation. Do you really want to do that to Aunt Gertrude or your college roomie?
quote:Do you really want to do that to Aunt Gertrude or your college roomie?
Actually, I would rather enjoy doing that to a few of my college roomies. But I'm not inviting them, anyway. Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
We're in an opposite situation to Christy - all the overseas / long distance people are not only coming, some of them have already booked tickets.
And all the near distance people have told us they're coming.
At the moment we're looking at standing room only. That, or win lotto and find another reception venue.
So sorry dkw, can't help! Can you make tenative enquiries to find out whether the 'likely-not-to-comes' will in fact come?
Posts: 4393 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
Well, we could print half the invitations with flawed directions to the reception. By the time those people find their way to the hall (which is really just across the parking lot, but they'll have gotten there by way of Duluth), the first batch of folks will have been well fed and shuttled off on their way. Then the second group comes in. The wedding party eats a SECOND meal, and all is well.
More cake for me!
And we dance off the extra calories.
Or we gently explain to the fire marshal that most of the Hatrackers only JUST became real and shouldn't count against the maximum occupancy. It's not our fault that whenever two or more Hatrackers are gathered, everyone becomes instantly real. Sheesh!
We could promise not to start a fire...this time.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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posted
I can appreciate the situation you're in, but I'm thankful it's not one I'll ever find myself in.
I have no intention of inviting any of my extended family. I wouldn't even consider having my grandparents at my wedding - why would I invite people I utterly loathe?
But good luck to you both, I've been reading your wedding-related threads with enthusiasm!
Posts: 2245 | Registered: Nov 1998
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posted
Bob and Dana, Do NOT invite Trogdor the Burninator! Yikes. Fire code violation city.
As for overbooking, I think 80% sounds about right. And I like the idea of announcements afterward. that way, people CAN send a gift, but are not obligated under Miss Manners' Gift Giving Law Code.
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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posted
April 2, Ames. Yes, but in the unlikely event that Great-Aunt Gertrude and co all show up you have to eat in the basement. Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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quote:And I like the idea of announcements afterward. that way, people CAN send a gift, but are not obligated under Miss Manners' Gift Giving Law Code
How does that work? Announcements of what?
Tony and I are grappling with the 'we-don't-really-need-presents-especially-from-those-friends-of-ours -who-are-struggling-students-but-what-about-those-people-who-want-to-bring-presents-and-if-we-don't -have-a-registry-will-we-really-get-8-toasters?' problem.
We put 'gifts not expected' on our engagement invites and *everyone* brought one anyway. I like to think that they were smaller then they would have been if we had made it clear we wanted presents (some were flowers and stuff like that) but really, everyone was very bad at following instructions.
posted
Imogen, It just gives them an option out, but they still might choose not to follow your directions. in that case, just be gracious and say Yee-haa! Nice fifteenth crystal vase!
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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posted
I would write something like "RSVP -- regrets only" and THEN apply the 80% rule. I assume that anyone you're bothering to send an invitation to despite knowing they can't come is a nice person.
Posts: 1839 | Registered: May 1999
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posted
There is an easy way to solve the eight toaster problem (and many other former newlyweds know this one).
Find two or three other couples who are getting married about the same time and exchange duplicates. While you may get multiple toasters, a friend may get multiple blenders (and no toaster) or multiple electric knives.
If you get six Proctor-Silex toasters and you know that Wally World sells PS, you can take 5 of them back for store credit and get something that no one gave you (a vaccuum cleaner).
Posts: 279 | Registered: May 2004
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