posted
I pulled them out of preschool. Just finished sending the official sounding withdrawal letter.
Now, I don't plan on homeschooling throughout their entire academic career, much as I respect the idea of homeschooling (and most of my friends are homeschoolers, except the ones that are public teachers and it's always interesting to hear what they say about each other)
Anyway, the reason I pulled them out this year is that I don't want to be in my car all of my life. I would have had to take them to preschool every morning, and because it's too far away from the house to come back home while they're there, I would have had to either run errands or drive around or something for the three hours they were in school. Then pick them up and come home. Then, at 2:30 or so, go pick up the other kids and take them where they need to go.
Which is a lot of places, my oldest has moved into a new ballet school and after the summer session, the director called me to say they want to advance her up to the upper school (a very big honor for her, considering her age) and that means that she will be attending three days a week. It's a 45 minute drive. The second oldest is in gymnastics one day a week. I don't have the schedule on that yet, but it seems likely I'll be driving them somewhere four days a week.
soooo....I figured if i'm going to be doing nothing but hauling them around in the afternoon, the twins and I needed some stability in the mornings, so we're going to stay home.
I know that at this age they need no formal curriculum, but I don't want them to be behind when they start school next year. I'm figuring on doing some phonics and some counting skills and such with them.
So you teachers - anything you'd suggest? Anything that will be a big help, any particular workbooks you can recommend or should I just follow my instincts?
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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If so, you don't have to do anything. Tons of kids start K having had no education at all, sadly. Phonics and numbers will probably put them waaaaay ahead of the game.
<--Sad for state of education in America.
One thing I find very important is hands-on learning. For example, let your kids bake a cake, and talk to them about the fractions and measurements involved. They absorb that stuff like you wouldn't believe.
posted
I'm not sure what the guidelines are for homeschooling in your area, but you need to check and see what kind of re-entry issues your children will face.
Will they have to take x number of tests? What subjects?
I'm not saying don't pull them out - just make sure you know what the State requirements may be for getting them re-admitted to the public education system if you plan to do that later on.
posted
There are probably no requirements for kids this young. You are not required to send your kids to preschool, and maybe not even K. In AZ, for example, you only have to let the state know what's going on when they're eight. Even basic, rudimentary home education will prepare your child for the "testing" they might encounter if they have to enter school at that time.
posted
I guess, Trevor. I just can't imagine any state that has education requirements for entering the first year of school, since that's when education supposedly begins.
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posted
Just a question from a non-American: at what age do children have to go to school in US ? And what is the normal learning process ? That is, how many years of high-school, etc. And how much of it is obligatory ?
posted
I never put my kids in preschool, and I always taught them their numbers and phonics. This used to be part of what mom was supposed to do. I honestly don't think preschool is necessary for anything but social interaction with peers, unless there is a poor environment at home.
Posts: 438 | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
Cram as much as you can into their little heads as early as you can - before hormones and other distractions take over.
Develop a child's ability to think early and the rest falls into place. Of course, teenage years will still be hell, but that's why you had kids, right?
I'll let some of the mothers speak to the amount of requirements as they are undoubtedly more familiar with them than I am - finishing high school is some 12 years, from 1st grade to 12th. College is another four, depending on your program and whatnot.
posted
Growing up my mom had preschool for us kids (the 5 of us) and we also had summer school. None of us went to preschool, but we did participate in play groups/mother's day out at least once a week-- an important part of social development.
I was talking with my mom about it earlier this summer and she mentioned what a full-time job it was to make sure that everything we did was educational. Television wasn't an option (Except for Mr. Rogers), but we sure spent a lot of time outdoors. Mom found ways to teach us in everything we did.
Some ideas: My mom always had a schedule for us. I remember specifically that Tuesday mornings were baking day- she taught us kitchen skills and counting while "helping" her.
Before nap time there was reading time in which she would read to us or we would read to her.
Singing is an important part of oral language development; children can't read words they can't say so incorporate songs into cleaning tasks.
The following list is from the child development book I teach from:
Skills and Abilities Preschoolers need to develop before entering Kindergarten:
Colors & Shapes Recognizes and names primary/secondary colors. Recognizes circles Recognizes rectangles Recognizes triangles Matches shapes or objects based on shape Copies shapes
Listening and Sequencing Follows simple directions Listens to a short story Recognizes common sounds Repeats a sequence of sounds Repeats a sequence of orally given numbers Retells simple stories in sequence
Motor Skills (fine & gross) running walking a straight line jumping hopping alternate feet walking down stairs marching stand on one foot walk backwards throw a ball pastes objects claps hands matches simple objects touches fingers able to button a garment builds with blocks completes simple puzzles (5 pieces or less) draws and colors beyond a simple scribble able to zip a zipper controls pencil and crayon well cuts simple shapes uses scissors able to copy simple shapes
Numbers counts orally through 10 understands empty and full understands more and less
Position and Direction up and down in and out front and back over (on) and under top, bottom, middle beside and next to hot and cold fast and slow
Reading Readiness remembers objects from a given picture knows what a letter is read to daily looks at books and magazines recognizes nursery rhymes identifies parts of the body knows common farm and zoo animals pronounces own first name pronounces own last name expresses self verbally identifies other children by name tells the meaning of simple words repeats a sentence of 6-8 words completes incomplete sentence with proper word has own books understands that print carries a message pretends to read. uses left-to-right progression answers questions about a short story tells the meaning of words heard in story looks at pictures and tells a story identifies own first name in manuscript. prints own first name
Size big and little long and short matches shapes or objects based on size
Time Understands day and night. Knows age and birthday.
Social/Emotional Development can be away from parents or primary care givers for 2-3 hours without being upset takes care of toilet needs independently feels good about self is not afraid to go to school cares for own belongings knows full name dresses self knows how to use tissue knows own sex brushes teeth crosses residential street safely asks to go to school knows parents' names knows home address knows home phone number enters into casual conversation carries a plate of food maintains self-control gets along well with other children plays with other children recognizes authority shares with others talks easily puts away toys able to stay on task able to work independently helps family with chores
posted
Good luck, Adrian. I don't have a lot of suggestions, but when you're going through the ABCs, I suggest using alphabet Bingo games and such. Robert loved them. But go one letter at a time, for maybe a week. Let 'em make the letters out of playdoh or something (I've heard that boys especially like building letters and words this way-- Don't know if it's true) I made Liam's name for him out of little colored tiles and he took it apart and put it together often enough that he totally blew me away one day by writing his name-- even though I had been deliberately avaiding teaching him that, since it would put him above his class' expectations.
We were just hanging out drawing together and Liam says, "Look, Mommy! I draw my name!" That was a year ago, and he doesn't even get to go to Kindergarten until Next year. I think I may be scrambling for things to keep him interested for some time to come.
CT-- Ron has totally warped us all, in that pleasant way he has, so I'm glad to hear you'll be passing on the tradition. My boys will never forget the dental hygiene lessons they learned from the Tooth Beaver, nor Pirate Godzilla's Guide to Table Manners. *snort*
Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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quote: Just a question from a non-American: at what age do children have to go to school in US ? And what is the normal learning process ? That is, how many years of high-school, etc. And how much of it is obligatory ?
I don't see that any one has answered all your questions yet Corwin, unless they are doing so as I post..
In America, the standard is Kindergarten at age 5 (usually they have to turn 5 before Sept 1 of that year, but it may vary state to state). Then 1st, 2nd, grades on up through 12th grade. That part is mostly mandatory (I think you CAN drop out at age 16, but that is certainly not encouraged).High school is usually consider either 9th through 12th, or 10th through 12th, depending on the state/area. Usually by 12th grade you are at or near 18 years old.
Of course, there are exceptions to this -- some kids finish all courses needed early, some need remedial, or extra, courses.
Then college (university level beyond 12th grade) is not mandatory.
posted
I'm no expert on homeschooling, but speaking as a student, I think it's important to read to your kids often. I learned to read well before kindergarten, and it probably improved my vocabulary and my ability to write.
I'd also recommend they get plenty of time playing outside. They can learn a lot just by observing nature, and it will develop motor coordination skills.
Posts: 3546 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
I didn't go to school until grade K. My mom didn't even have "school" time with us. She did however make sure that we could read to some degree and we knew our numbers. We could also write out names and spell our first and last name. I don't ever remember anything being too difficult though. Instead everything was presented as a game. Since our last name was really long she taught it to us by putting the letters to jingle bells. And I remember being read to a lot. She woudl check out 6 books for each of us from the library and then we'd read them. And we'd also have a long book that she'd read us a chapter of before we went to bed. We didn't have a tv when I was little so there wasn't much way for us to just sit around and do nothing. We were either playing, pestering mom, or learning something new. Wow, sometimes I forget how cool my mom is.
As long as your kids are doing well I think that they'll probably be fine. Enjoy having them with you for this last year!
Posts: 872 | Registered: Mar 2002
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posted
Great advice here. A few things that have worked in our family.
The Magic School Bus BOOKS. My kids love these. They are bright and engaging and teach lots of great science.
Borrow from the library the book "The Well Trained Mind" by Susan Wise Bauer and Jessie Wise. It has lots of great ideas.
Limit tv. My kids only watch TV on the weekends, and only PBS. (Unless we decide to watch LotR).
Garden with them.
Make playdough with them.
Oh, and how old is your dancer?
Seriously, you would have to sit them in front of Power Rangers all day and ingore them for them to enter school behind.
Posts: 2711 | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
I agree with romanylass's last comment. However, I would check and see if the kindergarden in your area is half-day or full day. We moved from a half-day area to a full-day area when we moved to Kentucky, and decided to re-start our daughter this fall because KY's kids were already reading, while in the school we moved from the kids were just learning basic letter sounds.
posted
In Alabama, there is no schooling requirement before age 7. As for homeschooling, I looked into it, and Alabama's laws are very easy to deal with, you need to belong to a cover school, and keep attendance, and they must pass the Alabama high school exit exam before they can be awarded a high school diploma (which is awarded by the cover school)
According to that list Coccinelle posted...they are ready for kindergarten now! they can both count to ten, Abigail can sometimes make it to 20 without messing up, but she usually skips some numbers. Abigail can say her ABC's, Daniel still garbles it in the middle.
I am not planning any major sit down, pay attention schooling, they're too young for that. We'll sort colors and count using M&M's (that worked wonders for Emily), we'll read, we'll go to storytime at the local library, we'll practice writing letters and numbers.
I just don't want them to be way behind their peers, they will already be behind in some ways because they were born so late in the year (May 29) and because they're twins, and had speech delays early on.
you're preaching to the choir when you talk emphasize reading to kids. I firmly believe there is NOTHING more important for their academic future than being read to consistently when they're little.
A friend of mine is the reading program coordinator for a local school system, and she and I were talking one day, about what helps kids in school and what doesn't. We got started on it because we were discussing breast feeding, both she and I wanted to, and things didn't work out, and both of us expressed feeling guilty that we didn't, (which we shouldn't, but that's another rant for another time - I get highly ticked at how "breast nazis" try to make women feel like they're neglectful parents if they bottlefeed) anyway - back to the point. She said "When I evaluate kids in kindergarten and first grade, I can't tell which ones were breastfed and which ones were bottlefed. They're all walking, talking, normal kids. But I sure can tell which ones were read to by their parents."
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
Somehow I double posted, so I'll just edit this one and brag on my Natalie.
Last year she was put en pointe in ballet, one of the earliest to do so at that school.
She did okay, but I wasn't happy because there was only one pointe class, so she was in the same class as kids up to 18 years old. she was 10.
This year, I began examining alternatives and found a Christian church that has a ballet school, very respected and run by people who also run a professional performing company.
I put her in the summer program there, and was told that she was too young for pointe, at that school they don't go en pointe usually until 12, though they will allow some 11 year olds that they think are strong enough and ready. They wanted her to spend a year learning their pre-pointe program, so that she'd be caught up with the other girls and not be behind.
We agreed, though Natalie was disappointed to spend another year in regular ballet. We decided that the advantages she would gain by being part of this school were enough to make it worthwhile.
Well, the director of the school called me at home last week to tell me after speaking with Natalie's instructor in the summer program, they are going to move her up to pointe after all. The teacher said she worked very hard, and they expected her to be behind the other girls but were pleasantly surprised at how quickly she got herself up to speed. She also told me I had a very polite and sweet natured daughter, who they would be proud to have part of their program.
Next year, she'll be able to audition for their junior performing group. When she's 15, if she likes, she'll be able to audition for the Sr. performing group, and will be required to attend classes 6 days a week, as well as a mandatory bible study. It's a huge commitment, basically full time dance training, and they have an incredible number of graduates from their school that have gone on to dance professionally or to receive college scholarships.
Can you tell I'm proud of her? Plus, it's just such a wonderful organization, they really stress the ministry aspect of what they do, they don't just aim to produce dancers, but Godly young women.
As for Emily, she starts formal gymnastics training after a year of tumbling. Olivia, I'm sure you won't be surprised to hear that the teachers all told me they were convinced she'd do well, because of her natural athletic abilities and her seemingly inexhaustible energy level! She is so naturally strong, the kid can do chin ups. She's 6!
Abigail will be in pre-ballet, and Daniel will be just Daniel. We're not enrolling him in anything this year, he's more immature than his sister, and I don't think he's ready for anything just yet.
[ August 03, 2004, 04:56 PM: Message edited by: Belle ]
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
Wow, congrats to Natalie.That sounds like an AWESOME program. She seems to have the makings of a pro, if that's what she wants.
Oh, you know the Newman's Own Organics alphabet cookies? They are great for pre-reading. Especially the chocolate ones.
I work with young kids, and I totally agree, you CAN tell which kids are read too, and which kids are not. Even by two or three.
Posts: 2711 | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
I've made my views on homeschooling clear in past threads (I'm against it 99.9% of the time), but I wouldn't classify skipping pre-school as homeschooling.
In this case, I think that keeping them home is far better than putting them in pre-school. Obviously you're creating an environment for them that is very conducive to learning and they have enough interaction with other children that their social skills won't suffer. I'm sure y'all will have a great year.
BTW, I highly recommend the Schoolhouse Rock CDs. They are one of the best early learning tools out there. Particularly Multiplication Rock and Grammar Rock (America Rock and Science Rock are okay, but are a little outdated and/or a tad inaccurate).
Also, Belle, have you spoken with your doctor about putting Natalie en pointe early? I ask because I was put en pointe when I was 8 because I was so tall and it really messed up my toes.
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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She had some trouble with her toenails, getting some ingrown ones. We treated them ourselves, using soaks and otc medicated pads until they grew out.
It's my understanding that no matter what age you start pointe you're toes will eventually be messed up. As one instructor put it, to dance en pointe you better be willing to never wear sandals again!
I think the main concern they have is whether or not the bones in teh feet have quit growing and whether or not the child has the muscle strength to support the body in that position, which believe it or not, the lower back muscles are the ones most used to keep a dancer steady en pointe. They judge the child by their development and their strength. Not just height - I would say the studio that put you en pointe at eight - shouldn't have. Natalie's instructor put her through a regimen of back exercises to get her ready for pointe last year. And she did fine, no injuries. This year, they'll be taking it slow, since everyone else in the class will just be starting, so I don't have any worries.
We also have a good friend of the family who just opened a local podiatry clinic, and I've already told him I'd be bringing her by so he can check on those toenails.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
I figured you'd be on top of it, Belle. I'm just neurotic about anyone going en pointe even a week early b/c of my experience. I was 5'2'' and very strong when I was 8, but they still should've waited.
I stopped dancing seriously when I was 12, so I still wear sandals. I have broken every one of my toes at least once, though.
I'm pretty sure that the threads about homeschooling are gone - this was a year and a half ago, I think. In my former job (VP of an online education company that did homebound, hospitalized, and cyber charter schooling), I worked with hundreds of formerly homeschooled children. Even the best ones had huge gaps in their skills and none of them were where they should have been socially. Most of them had difficult relationships with their parents - it's hard to be both teacher and parent.
That's the short version of it. The .01% of homeschooled children (whom I know) who are academically and socially successful can be found on this board - BannaOj and Human. If every homeschooled child turned out like them, I would sing its praises. However, they are the tiny, tiny exception to the rule.
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posted
Its not for pre-schoolers, but one book I'd recommend for young children is Math for Smarty Pants. Its got great games, and is humorous, presenting early-mid level math in a way that can make kids fall in love with math tricks, rather then being afraid of numbers. I think its a great supplement to ANY math education, regardless of home or public schooling.
Posts: 4112 | Registered: May 2001
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quote: In my former job (VP of an online education company that did homebound, hospitalized, and cyber charter schooling), I worked with hundreds of formerly homeschooled children. Even the best ones had huge gaps in their skills and none of them were where they should have been socially.
Can I assume that most of them were working with you specifically because homeschooling didn't work out for them? Wouldn't kids that were successfully homeschooled never look into the online methods? Or am I misunderstanding what your job was?
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
I never sent my oldest to preschool. I have not really done much that could be called "homeschooling". He is starting kindergarten this year. Does that make me a terrible mom? Sometimes I feel that way. Like, "If you don't send your kids to preschool, you don't love them!"
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
You always want to supplement your child's education with initiatives at home - the younger you start, the better.
Habits form early and some habits - like enjoying reading or learning, can be very good.
And public education still advances at a relatively fixed rate, which means you have to hope your child falls within that general median or else you may have problems later.
-Trevor
Edit: I don't know the kinds of cases Mrs. M has worked with, so I can't give you a specific and researched answer, but I imagine a lot of parents opt to home-school their kids for personal reasons but don't put the effort required into teaching everything they should be. Playing mom and teacher can be a massive headache unto itself.
posted
I totally agree with Shigosei that reading to your children is important. It works with some kids better than others, but if they learn to look at reading as something to do for fun they will be ahead of the game. If you have a TV, get rid of it, or at least forbid its use until after the kids have read a set amount (30 minutes? 1 hour?) each day.
Math for Smarty Pants is a great book, as is The I Hate Mathematics Book by the same author.
Posts: 1364 | Registered: Feb 2003
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posted
I started reading to my son every night when he was about 8 months old. Unfortunately, this never made him eager to learn to read on his own. If anything, he was actually behind most kids. But he did catch up and now loves to read. We never require him to read a set amount, but instead give him reading time every night before bed. He rarely reads during the day but becomes very upset if he goes to bed too late to read. My daughter, who can't read yet, has reading time too where she looks at her books.
posted
Farmgirl, I only saw your answer late at night, so I didn't reply then. Thanks, that's exactly the kind of information I wanted.
Also, some additional questions: preschooling refers to things you do before the 1st grade or before Kindergarten ? And grade K = Kindergarten ? (btw, get an English name for Kindergarten, for crying out loud ! )
The reason I asked about this is that most of the central or western European students are one year younger then me, at the same level. Either they start school at 6, or they have only 11 grades. (I think it's the former) In Romania it's kind of the same system as in US, with the mention that the Kindergarten is 3 years (starting when you're four) IIRC, and the grades are grouped 4 by 4: - the first four form primary school (basicly - one teacher for everything, except the foreign language which starts in the 2nd grade, and sometimes sport, drawing and music classes) - the next four - gymnasium or general school (separated teachers for every subject, but no choices except for languages - you start learning a second language in the 6th grade) - then the last four form the high school (you chose your domain at the beginning, but don't get to choose each course, and still have classes in almost everythin). Then there's college, or university, or other superior studies. And I'm not sure about the current situation, but when I was in highschool the first ten grades were mandatory, but the Kindergarten was not I think. As for the type of schools, most are public school, you start having private ones only at university level, and still the public schools are the best by far.
Posts: 4519 | Registered: Sep 2003
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quote:I intend to work the Boxer Rebellion, the Fibonacci series, and the nuances of tea flavonoid processing into daily conversation with Sophie. Early childhood eccentricity seems to be an excellent prophylaxis against accepting the status quo without reservation, as well as making for a fine preparation for hatracking.
Oh, that's great!!!
I would think that learning the Krebs cycle would be good at this age too. Heck, if I'd started as a preschooler, I might...just might... have understood it all by the time I needed to learn it in BioChem.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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posted
Belle, check out Saxon Publishers if you're interested in curriculum. I'm a huge fan of theirs since using some of their curriculum to get my son caught up in math over one summer vacation a few years ago. Easy to teach, fun for kids, while still being very effective. I think they do pre-school curriculum both for math and phonics. Their early education curriculum is fantastic. I was less impressed with their upper grade offerings, but since that's not what you're looking for, it probably doesn't matter.
Get plugged in with your local homeschooling association too...they'll probably have some excellent suggestions and ideas, though you may have to filter out their agenda to keep you homeschooling beyond what you intend. Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001
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posted
If it's JK they're entering, knowing the alphabet letters and sounds, and how to count vaguely up to twenty (even if they skip numbers) is good.
If it's SK, reading simple words and sounding out others is probably pretty good.
OH! And running a day camp for 5 and 6 year olds I was surprised at how many couln't tie simple knots. Perhaps I couldn't, but I suggest that you start on the knot skills early. They make a teacher's job so much easier...
Of course, the more they are the more confident they'll be throughout their elementry school career, because they'll know stuff other kids don't have a clue about.
Posts: 8473 | Registered: Apr 2003
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quote:Can I assume that most of them were working with you specifically because homeschooling didn't work out for them? Wouldn't kids that were successfully homeschooled never look into the online methods? Or am I misunderstanding what your job was?
Basically, they were homeschoolers who wanted the best of both worlds. They took from 1 to 4 classes and only had 8 hours a week max with us. Some kids just took math, some just history, some took all 4 main subjects, etc. They still considered themselves homeschoolers b/c they took our classes from their homes.
Most of them chose to homeschool for religious reasons and the rest because they felt that their children's needs weren't being met in public school.
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
I think Trevor expressed my concerns well. It seems like most of the problems that occur in homeschooling are there because the mom isn't prepared to do what's necessary, either because she's unknowledgeable about it or misunderstands it, or doesn't really want to do it. Also, some moms make the mistake of beginning a child's "formal education" at a turbulent time in the life of the family, which generally will not succeed, and will also cause the mom to lose heart.
There are a lot of moms that aren't prepared to homeschool, and I think that public (or private) school might be a good option for them.
I think that "playing mom and teacher" is also part of the problem. Too many parents are just going through the motions until their kids are old enough to do...whatever. It's not about interaction and teaching, it's about getting the job over with.
That said, I object to the idea that moms should not teach their own children for the reason that the kids spend too much time with them, or whatever. If a child has a healthy relationship with their parent and their needs are met, they can only benefit from more time with that parent. The problem would come about from a relationship that's already strained to some degree.
Now, the child definitely needs plenty of time with other children, particularly outside, and that's something that isn't always possible; I think that can also cause problems in homeschooling. If your kid is cooped up 24 hours a day with you, then he probably isn't going to learn all that well.
Really, I don't know why being parent and teacher should be that difficult. Truly, it is already so, and homeschooling would just be a slight extension of what's already present. I believe that the major jobs of the parent are to love their children, keep them healthy, and teach them what they need to know to survive outside. Lately, more and more of the responsibility has been shifted from the parent onto unknowns in the community. Religious teachings (if any) can be picked up by the Sunday School teacher, or the equivalent. Sex Ed comes from the boys' gym teacher or the punk down the street with too much info and not enough real-world experience. In cases such as these, I think that the child can only BENEFIT from education by the parent, having their learning tailored to their needs by the person that loves them most in the world.
As far as socialization goes, I'd say that there are many opportunities in the community for a homeschooled child to interact with other children. So again, I place the responsibility for the lack of socialization on the parents. There's no reason for a homeschooled child to have no relationships with groups of children his age, unless they live so far from civilization that homeschooling would be the most viable choice in the first place.
I'll admit I've never witnessed the lack of socialization mentioned by Mrs. M, although I've heard about it from different sources, so it must be true in some situations. But I have wonder, what guage is used to measure the child's social skills? Is it based on observed interaction with a group of children? Or interaction with the adult in question? How do you determine that a child has no social skills; is it because they don't fit in well with the group?
I am asking to say this: What kinds of groups do we actually want our kids to socialize with?
And because I have no way to explain what I mean, I'm going to use an example.
I grew up in a trailor park in Georgia. I never played with the other children and rarely got involved in their plans, etc. I easily offended the other kids and never got along well with their parents. An outsider would probably say that I had no social skills, and didn't know how to conduct myself in a group of people.
But, in truth, the reason I didn't get along is because my mom taught me very early on how to say "No". "No, I don't want to smoke a cigarette." "No, I don't think it'd be fun to steal the neighbor's wood so we can build a fort in the ditch." "No, you can't borrow my Barbies because you never returned the other ones." And to a parent once, "No, T. Rex is not the biggest dinosaur that ever existed."
Would it have been better for me to keep giving the little girl my Barbies? Or smoke the cigarette? It certainly would have been considered "socializing with my peers". But sometimes the LAST thing you want is for your child to socialize with a group.
All I'm saying is that sometimes being very confident in who you are, to the point that you don't subjugate yourself to the will of your peers, can look a heckuva lot like being unsocial. Even in less extreme cases, where the peer group isn't so unsavory. Sometimes you have a kid that's perfectly happy being themselves, and isn't willing to change that so that they fit into the group better. For me, that's generally preferable to just "going with the crowd".
I want to point out that I hold a completely different set of values when we are talking about subjugating to authority, but I was taught early on that there's a big difference between authority figures and peers.
I also think that part of the reason homeschooled kids seem unsocialized is because they are being judged by a guage that is meant for kids who attend public school. Who's to say that it's actually better, in the long-run, for a child to develop his social skills by being tossed headfirst into the shark pit when he's five years old? Often the kids who are behind, socially, when measured as adolescents, will catch up, or even excel when measured as adults. I think it's an entirely different ball game, and I don't think it's fair to measure the kids of one group by a standard set by the other group, at least in this situation.
Edited: for redundancy and to fix an imcomplete thought
I am a homeschool proponent. I know several homeschooling families, am close to two, and related to one. Their kids lack for nothing in the social skills department. In fact, one mother told me how she pulled the kids out of some activities because they were falling behind on learning - they were doing too much with other families.
My niece is entering high school this fall, after having been homeschooled through the elementary years. The school is giving them grief about official transcripts and other BS because of NCIB and supposedly they had to make sure she met all the academic requirements, so she enrolled in a program through Texas Tech University and tested out of all the required courses to get the eighth grade certificate. And, just in case you're wondering, she was proctored at the public library by the librarian, not her parents.
I've seen that example time and again with the homeschool families I know, their kids are superior academically and socially.
The only reason we aren't homeschooling all four of our kids is because of me. My personality is just not suited to it. I would rather not do it at all than screw it up. And, we happen to live in an area with exceptional schools. I am very involved in the education of our kids though - I make sure I know exactly what each one is being taught.
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posted
In my experience, which admittedly doesn't cover the entire homeschooling spectrum, I have seen satisfactory socialization of homeschooled children. Among the ones I know, most were homeschooled until high school, and did very well upon entrance, both in education, and socially.
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I would highly recommend sitting down with a copy of your state's standards and making a loose plan for how you will meet them. You will find that many of the standards can be met with things you would be doing anyway - reading with your children, having them help you make decisions about which can of beans to buy at the grocery store, and gardening. Just make sure you hit what they will need to know for school, and they will be all right! I wouldn't worry too much about which workbooks, etc., are the best. The learning that lasts the longest comes from experiences that are meaningful to the kids.
You can also find books that go over the best teaching methods based on research. They have titles ending in "...That Work".
Some of the methods include connecting new information to what the child already knows, using graphic organizers, practice, etc. Ping me if you want feedback for your ideas and lesson plans - I enjoy this sort of thing!
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posted
It's not only the socialization that is important, but also the separation from the parent. Of course, this varies with the relationship the child has with the parent, but generally children need to be left 'alone' (as it were- I mean with other people who are not their parents). I feel independance from parents, as well as a strong relationship with them, is very important.
Since I have never been homeschooled I wouldn't know really how often this is possible. Just my opinion...
Posts: 8473 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
Thought I'd throw this out there, for what it's worth.
My bro-in-law was homeschooled two years ago, during his first grade year. They took him out of school specifically because he wasn't socially ready for school, and was bullied mercilessly during his Kindergarten year. (He was the classic example of an odd duck who lived in his own little world.) After being homeschooled he re-entered school at the second grade level (way ahead academically, BTW) and did much better. No one can say if it was because of the homeschooling itself, or only because he was allowed to be out of that environment when he was particularly weak in that area, but we can definitely say that being homeschooled didn't HINDER his socialization as he is doing quite well now.
I hold a personal belief that, when it is applied accurately, homeschooled children come out ahead of the game in most areas. Some people don't agree, but I don't think it's been substantially proven one way or the other at this point. All I know is that being a parent is difficult enough for the person that gave life to those little guys. I don't expect better from people who are merely paid to be the parent for eight hours. I have a lot of respect for teachers and admire the ones that do a good job, because it must be difficult to provide quality education to 30 children with individual learning needs. But for me, I feel more comfortable knowing that the education of my children will lie with the person that knows them best and can give each child a personalized learning experience.
I'm curious if people who are against homeschooling would categorize private tutors with it for the sake of this discussion.
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posted
I totally agree with you, Teshi. But I don't think it's a problem at all to get kids away from their parents now and then. Considering that many children have schedules that barely leave them time for dinner with their family, I don't see how it could be that difficult.
There's Boy and Girl Scouts, dance lessons, music lessons, sports, youth groups or AWANA (when applicable) and many programs that were set up specifically to allow homeschooled kids a break from parents. Many cities have support groups for homeschoolers where they have group activities for the children such as PE, and parents with a particular skill will teach children besides their own one lesson a week.
There is a wealth of things for kids to do, even if it's simply throwing your kid out the back door with a sandwich, if you live in an area like that. (I wish I did!)
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posted
Not to mention getting kids used to structured activities with parent supervision may (and I do stress may) make it easier for them when they hit the teen years.
There's nothing more infuriating to have parents suddenly appear at every turn when they couldn't be bothered before.
posted
Since you originally asked for ideas thats what I'll stick to
You love to read to them so look for Five In A Row (FIAR)link It is a wonderful integration of learning and reading. We used this in the beginning and really enjoyed it.
Another preschool "curriculum" to look at is Letter of the Weeklink A lady I know online put this together. I haven't used it yet but plan on using it with Brigham.
So much of preschool is really exploring your environment. Puzzles, games, drawing and coloring, story time... all these things are things you are probably already doing. What do your kids enjoy doing? I wouldn't worry too much about them needing to be ready for kindergarten. It sounds like they are well on their way Enjoy your time with them, that is the most important part!
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