posted
Because I haven't vented enough on this forum already, right?
Is there a reason why I am about eight hundred times more mature than the men I date? I mean, seriously. Even the ones who are significantly older than me always end up acting like they're twelve.
Case in point: The guy I'd been casually seeing for a couple of months just stopped speaking to me altogether a couple of weeks ago. It was especially surprising because I'd pointed out a few things that bothered me about the way he acted towards me, and he was making a conscious effort to avoid doing those things. Then all of a sudden, he won't return my calls or IMs. Well, that's fine. Can I at least see you in person to say goodbye? Apparently not.
It gets better. I don't have a mailing address here, so I'd been having things shipped to his office. Before, he'd make sure I got them within a few days of when he received them.
I ordered myself a shirt and boyshort panty set and had it shipped to his office. I know that it arrived over a week ago because I tracked it. I ordered it, by the way, before he got all weird. Well, I told him that if he didn't want to see me, that was fine, but can I at least set up a time to pick up my things? After all, I paid for them.
He's been either ignoring me completely or, when he does deign to speak to me, treating me like a complete psycho stalker. I finally had to tell one of his friends to tell him to send me my things. I then discovered that he has blocked me on AIM. What the hell is he going to do with a girl's shirt and panties, anyway? Play dress-up?
This isn't the first time something like this has happened. Thing is, I don't hold onto people's things. I always end up treating these guys with way more respect than they treat me.
My last real boyfriend stole my laptop. He asked to borrow it to type up an article, and I let him hang onto it for a little while because he didn't have a computer at his house. When I broke up with him, he did the exact same thing. He ignored my calls or treated me like a crazy woman because I was bugging him to return my shiny, expensive computer. He kept it for over a month. He finally returned it after my father called his office and told his boss that he wasn't returning my computer. At which time, again, he treated me like I was being psycho and unreasonable for going to such lengths to retrieve my $2000+ laptop.
My ex-fiance stole my favorite hoodie. And it was way too small for him. And it had great senitmental value to me; there are some really awesome memories behind how I got it. He also admitted to owing me an exhorbitant amount of money but decided he didn't have to pay it because I started seeing someone else or...something ridiculous. Oh, yeah. It was because my mother threw out his favorite pair of shoes, and he wanted me to buy him new ones. I told him he could deduct it out of what he owed me. Oh yeah, and after we broke up, he couldn't have a conversation with me without telling me how I was OBVIOUSLY sleeping my way to the top. What?
I've noticed that the only reason my breakups become uncivilized is because the guy in question generally resorts to insults and absolute childishness. I wasn't even that rude to the one I broke up with because he made out with another girl in front of me.
posted
I vote for maiming and destroying. Just because he wants to play dress up does not mean he has to do it with your stuff. Tell him to buy his own darn women's underwear.
Posts: 1015 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
Psssh. If I had to buy my OWN panties instead of stealing it from exes, well...I'd still own several pairs, but they wouldn't be as cute!
Posts: 4313 | Registered: Sep 2004
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At least you weren't like my sister, and max out a credit card on a guy, just to break up with him in late January. The few things he gave back, he gave back in just bad enough condition they couldn't be returned.
Posts: 880 | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
Well yeah, I realize that. But I can't think of anything I really DO to cause it. Maybe it's because I don't act broken up about it when I stop seeing them, and it hurts their feelings.
They're all of very different temperments and generally seem like responsible, grown-up people until we break up.
posted
pH, I have what I think of as a fatal attraction to border-line personality types and hurt puppies, so I feel your pain. Trust me, I'm not saying I'm better than you.
Of course, I could be full of poo and you've just had a really horrendous run of bad luck. Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
You know, I think it really is that I come off as not caring that we're breaking up, so they're trying to hurt my feelings to make themselves feel better.
The thing is, I generally DON'T care. Or at least, I don't care as much as I "should." And even if I did care, I don't think I'd show it. Plus, I generally move on pretty quickly.
When my ex-fiance broke up with me, he didn't become uncivilized until he realized that I was already seeing someone else three weeks later. I can see how that'd be a blow to the male ego.
Edit to clarify: I wasn't cheating on him. He broke up with me. Three weeks/a month or so after that, I started seeing someone else. Also, I didn't TELL him I was seeing someone else; he apparently saw us on our second date at the movie theatre.
posted
Yeah, the only guy to ever play the "You don't exist" game with me was the only one to break up with me, instead of the other way around.
And he didn't get cold until he realized I wasn't just acting relieved not to be seeing him anymore.
I think he's doing this to get a reaction. Your anger makes him feel powerful. If he can't make you sad by leaving, he'll piss you off by keeping your stuff. Just a guess.
Posts: 9293 | Registered: Aug 2000
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quote: But I can't think of anything I really DO to cause it.
Here's the thing: you don't care about these guys as much as they care about you. And that's what causes it -- one way or another -- although of course each individual reason is, well, individual.
I'm not saying that you MAKE them immature. I'm saying that you pick men prone to immaturity because you aren't particularly concerned about it one way or another, and that being the more emotionally-invested one in any soured relationship is more likely to make someone act irrational.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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