posted
This week my 8 year old Em is being evaluated by the senior coaches to see if she's ready to move up in her gymnastics class. If she does move up, it will be to a competitive team, so this is a big deal it's where you go from just working on routines to show your parents at the end of the year to working on competitive routines and going to huge meets and performing in front of judges.
Well, Tuesday they sat down and while they were stretching, one of the senior coaches told them they would be watching today and evaluating and they would decide in the next two weeks who would move up and for those that didn't they would tell them what to work on.
Emily did well, they were looking at tumbling which is one of her strengths. But when I was describing it to my sister in law she was appalled. She said that process put way too much pressure and stress on eight year old kids. Well some are older, and a very few a bit younger, but most of them are 8 and 9.
I told her I disagreed, that they would be subjected to much more scrutiny in a meet with a judge and that this was a way for the coaches not to just see who has skills but who can take the pressure. My sister-in-law said I should complain.
Then I began to wonder - is she right? Maybe it isn't right to put that kind of pressure on young kids. Maybe they shouldn't even be competing like that as such a young age. I don't know. I mean, I think that competition is healthy, especially in a sport like gymnastics where it's not about beating other people but doing your own personal best. And yes, sometimes you fall off the beam and don't do well, but there is a great life lesson to be learned in getting back on the beam.
What do you guys think about competitive sports like gymnastics at such early ages? Good? Bad? Depends on the kid? Do you think the coaches were wrong to do things the way they did? My SIL thinks they should have done the evaluation privately and not told the kids what was going on. I disagree, I think it motivated some of them to really concentrate and put forth their best.
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posted
I performed in my first talent contest at age 8. I think the pressure is comparable. It wasn't too bad, in fact my Mom was much more nervous than I was. I thought of it more as a performance than a competition, and I enjoyed performing in front of people.
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posted
My beef with sports (like gymnastics, especially once a child is "competitive") is that it takes more than 20 hours a week in practice. I think that is more ridiculous than the pressure. IMO that is removing a kid from their childhood and limits their ability to just play, explore and be a kid. (Although, I must also say that *some* kids are so driven that this makes them happy? I guess that there are exceptions, is what Iim trying to say)
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posted
I don't think they're too young, in general.
As I remember, your daughter loves gymnastics. And the evaluation is for a competitive team; if they can't handle just the evaluation it's unlikely they'd have a good time going to serious competitions every week.
Remember, 13 year old figure skaters go to the Olympics, and 15-17 year olds play pro tennis. If they're skilled enough and have the desire I don't see any reason why a kid can't compete at that age.
Of course, the other thing she has working for her is parents who are determined not to push. If she does it and it gets to be too much work or stops being fun then she can stop. And you guys'll be there the whole way to remind her that it's not life or death, and she can do gymnastics as much or as little as she chooses.
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posted
If she likes it, then there is nothing wrong with it. I think it only becomes a problem when they don't want to do it...and are only being pressured into it by a parent (or by the wish to impress a parent/loved one).
When she starts dreading going to practice, then you should worry. Until then, be happy that she is good at something that she loves.
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posted
I think there is a considerable difference between pressure from outside, ie these coaches, and pressure from within the family.
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I also think that a concerned parent like Belle, will probably be able to judge if the pressure from the coaches actually gets to be too "much" for the child in question to handle. However each child is unique and it depends on the child. "too much pressure" is entirely subjective, and to generalize much past an indivdual subject is pointless.
posted
Another thing to consider, is the child having fun? I know that with the younger kids at my fencing club (and even older club members) who compete, my coach always asks, "Did you have fun?"
If the answer is no, he tries to find out why. Fencing is highly competitive, but his view is that if you aren't having fun, maybe it's something you shouldn't do. Competition shouldn't make it not fun (of course, there ARE frustrating aspects to any competition, so at times, you might not be having fun).
Does that make sense?
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posted
I think pressure is a good thing for kids. It's the way in which it is applied that can transform it into something harmful.
Part of the value of sports is that it can teach how to handle pressure in a positive manner. Or, if coached poorly, it can teach you how to handle pressure in a negative manner.
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posted
yeah, mack, I'm really big on the "did you have fun at practice today?" question. I want to always remind her it's about her having a good time and doing what she likes to do.
Emily is my driven one. I never, never tell my kids to practice anything at home. I mean, I'm not over them with the "Have you done your exercises the coach recommended? Have you practiced your dance steps?" type questions. If they don't practice, it will show - the coaches will call them out on it. And I firmly believe, like Scott, that it's the job of the coaches to coach and my job to cheer and be supportive.
But Emily? I have to tell her to stop. She was doing handstands last night, and must have done twenty in a row. I stopped her when I could tell she was stumbling when she came up because she was dizzy. I asked her why she felt the need to practice only handstands - she practices tumbling every day because she loves it but doesn't usually do only one thing over and over. Her response? "Coach Tiffany said our handstands stink."
Now, I specifically remember Tiffany giving Emily a high five after a handstand, so I know this was just a remark directed at the whole class, and not my child individually, but my child is so determined to move up and make the competition team, she drilled herself on handstands last night. She's the one that when told her upper body strength was lacking begged her father to put in a pull up bar and would go outside and do pull-ups rain or shine every day until now she has the record in her class for doing the most consecutive pull-ups at the gym.
I do like this gym, because they're up front with what they're all about. The owner of the gym, Coach Tom, tells every parent that if they want an Olympian or they want their kid to be a scholarship gymnast in college to go find another gym. To get to that level takes dedication, practicing six days a week for hours each day, etc. Here, he says he wants to teach girls to be good sports, to learn the value of competition and teamwork and build confidence in themselves. Meets are never mandatory, if you think your child has had too much, you can simply choose not to go to a particular meet. I've never heard a coach raise his/her voice, though they are firm about correction and discipline. The girls on the team all seem to be friends, they encourage each other on the gym floor, I've seen the whole team applaud a girl who just landed a new move for the first time.
So, I'm happy with the instruction she's getting. I just worry sometimes that a kid can be too driven, and too much of a perfectionist.
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posted
Belle, sports like gymnastics and figure skating are notorious for pressuring kids. If you want her to be in competitive gymnastics, and she likes it, and if she is truly good enough(which it sounds like it is) to compete, that is just going to be how it is.
Does she really love it? Or does she do it because she always has? Have you ever asked her if she would like a break? What would her response be?
Once you opt for a high level of competition, you opt for a high level of pressure.
For my kids, the pressure would be too much.
For your daughter, only you and she know the answer to that. I would just watche her for signs of depression or anxiety, and, I am sad to say, I would watch the coaches for "grooming." I have heard far too many stories of this in recent years.
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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posted
Elizabeth, I do want to address the grooming issue. It's very scary, and I have definitely considered it.
We have both boys and girls teams, and the male coaches work primarily with the boys and female coaches with the girls. Every practice is open and never is a coach alone one-on-one with a girl in private. They might work with one individually, but there's parents seated watching everything.
As for travel to meets, you make your own accomodations and transportation so there's no way that a child would be in a room by herself or just with other kids and/or with coaches. A parent is always along. Plus, we rarely participate in any meets that require overnight stays anyway. There are plenty right here in the Bham area.
It's very sad that we even have to think about things like that, but our kids protection is our first priority.
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