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To all of you who have experience with baby beds...
I need a baby bed that will fit in our bedroom. We have a small apartment, and there's really no place else for the baby to sleep--I also want her close by. I had considered the Arm's Reach Co-sleeper, but I'm a bit hesitant, as I'm not sure how long we'll be able to use it.
Really, I think the best thing for where we are now would be a bassinet, but I don't think we can expect to use it for very long.
A crib would be way too big and awkward in our bedroom, and it also would be difficult to move, I think. (We're hoping to move shortly after the baby is born...a few months or so.)
Ultimately, I'd like something that is not too big that we could reasonably expect to use for a year, assuming the baby is average sized. So many of the bassinets and even the cosleeper have lower weight limits and you can't use them once the baby can roll over or push herself up.
Am I dreaming here? Do any of you know of a bassinet or cosleeper or other type of not-huge baby bed can be used for at least a year, give or take a month or two?
I found several car seats that work for infants to toddlers, so I guess I'm hoping that I can find something in the way of a bed, too. The only type I've found are cribs that can be converted into toddler beds.
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posted
We had a wind up swing with a bassinette attachment we used for our oldest and then moved her to a crib after a few months. Our baby slept in a playpen. I don't remember what the middle child did. He started sleeping through the night almost immediately so we put him in a crib. I don't remember how old he was when we moved him to a bunkbed.
But I have no problem having the baby with me in the bed when I want them close. I know it's a very contraversial issue, though. My in-laws kept their babies in a sturdy drawer until they were too tall for it. They were poor when they started out, but even after they could afford something fancier, they got attached to the drawer.
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Good luck finding just what you need. I have no idea what's out there these days.
quote:Originally posted by pooka: But I have no problem having the baby with me in the bed when I want them close. I know it's a very contraversial issue, though.
I always kept my babies near at night, especially when I was nursing. I'd end up putting them into bed with me all the time, so we'd both get some sleep.
I don't understand the whole controversy over letting a baby sleep in the same bed with it's mother. It felt right to me.
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The playpen works all right for a crib, but it tends to be awfully hard. I’ve always felt better about having a crib with a thicker crib mattress.
The problem with a toddler bed is that when your baby does start to roll around, he or she will be awfully mobile at night and can easily fall out of bed if there isn’t some kind of safety rail all around. And when your baby gets past 1 and can stand up and climb, they won’t stay put in the toddler bed. Cribs are soooo nice for letting them figure out how to go to sleep on their own (which often involves crying it out) because you can leave the room and shut the door and know they’re not going anywhere.
We have never had our kids sleep in our bed with us. No way, no how. Our bed is ours.
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I know lots of people who do pack and play for crib, too.
Doesn't Arm's Reach make a "deluxe" co-sleeper that converts to a crib and toddler bed? Or maybe that's another company...
What about a smaller crib, like one from IKEA? No weight limits on those. And I think the nicer models do convert to a toddler bed, too. They take up much less room than regular cribs.
As for car seats-- can I just put in my hearty recommendation for the Scenara? Best $40 you'll spend, now has options for a pink cover if you're having a girl and like that kind of thing, and lasts most (but not all) kids at least 2 years, if not more. Many can make it to two years rear-facing in it, even, which is wonderful. (Remember, "2 and 30 is the new 1 and 20!")
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I dont' think you're going to find a bassinet or co-sleeper that will work for a year. The limitation isn't the weight, it's the height of the sides. Once a baby can crawl and pull themselves up anything with low sides isn't safe -- if thery're going to sleep alone they need a full-sided crib. Or a playpen/pack'n'play type structure.
We bought the Arm's Reach Mini Co-Sleeper, but mostly used it as a nighttime diaper changing station, because John ended up sleeping with us from day one. We'll set it up again for Thing 2, but I expect it's level of use to be about the same. (Which means we'll need to be buying a bigger bed.)
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I don't really talk about it that much. One person asked, and then got all concerned and wanted to know if I'd read a recent article about why you should never sleep with your baby and I said yes, and I'd also read a whole slew of articles about why you should. And that the American Association of Pediatrics has declared that the evidence is not strong enough in either direction for a blanket reccomendation and that families should make educated decisions for themselves. Added to which, I don't want to get up in the middle of the night to feed him -- if I can just pull down my pajama top and latch him on I can fall back to sleep before I wake up all the way.
Mostly I'm just so matter of fact about it if/when it comes up that no one questions it. I take the attitude of "of course we're co-sleeping*. And it's working great for us!"
I think the fact that we're older parents and both highly educated professional types probably helps too. Not as many people feel the need to give "helpful" advice as they do to younger moms. (Which isn't really fair, but there it is.)
*This also works for extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, natural childbirth, etc.
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Way to go! I wish I were a little older when my first child was born. At 21, everyone around me thought they knew better than I, and most of them did to a certain extent.
I did make my own rules. I also let the kids pretty much wean themselves.
Are you still nursing John? The reason I ask is that my oldest was over two and I thought I'd start weaning him. Well, the joke was on me. He was used to it...and liked it!
I tried various things to try to wean him. I tried bandaids (he knew what bandaids were for)and I tried putting cayenne pepper on as well. Well, I should have known that wouldn't deter him, he liked salsa, why wouldn't he like a little spice?
All of a sudden he pretty much just stopped wanting to nurse. I couldn't figure it out. It turned out that I was pregnant. I really think something changed in my milk, it tasted different.
I was grateful, it's a sad thing, weaning a baby that's not ready to be weaned.
Once Arik was born, he ended up in the bed as well. It was getting crowded. I slept better knowing they were near by and feeling secure. Of course, I was awful lazy about feeding. I couldn't understand how someone would actually get up in the middle of the night to prepare a bottle. That sounds like work to me.
When Aubree' was born, thank goodness I had two boys ready for their own beds.
She slept with me until I remarried. She still sleeps with me at 14 now that Joe's living in Huntsville.
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Our three-year-old is in and out of our bed. We expect babies to do the same. (We have a bassinet beside the bed; Bridey spent more time in it than in our bed, Emma spent more time in our bed than in the bassinet.) We just don't stress it either way. For us, it's an "if it happens we're cool with it" kind of thing.
My mom is so cool about co-sleeping. She has an attitude of "do what you need to do to get through!" I just don't discuss it with people who I know are going to criticize-- same as I don't discuss my plans for a large family, child-led weaning, or why I choose to be induced with those who are going to criticize me for them. I have occasionally been reamed out for something by someone whose business it was NOT, and I have no problem telling them that it is not their business. Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Yep, we're still nursing. Mostly just at bedtime, early morning, and if/when he wakes up at night.
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My mother in law gave me a hard time about putting the baby in a bassinet in our bedroom. She believed strongly that babies belonged in a nursery, not in our bedroom. When I said, what if I am tired and don't want to get up and go to a different room. Her response- you should sleep on the floor in the nursery. We never told her that the baby sometimes slept in our actual bed. Of course, once she got older, she decided that if we were in the room, she wanted to play. She will not sleep anywhere but her crib now (with us not in the room).
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quote:Originally posted by ketchupqueen: Did you quote the study about mothers with newborn in the room getting more sleep?
My mother in law thought I should sleep on the floor. I don't think my comfort was part of her reasoning.
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Did you quote her the study about daughters-in-law who go berzerk and murder their mothers-in-law being acquitted if the mother-in-law was a total jerk? Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Katarain (and others), what about a travel crib? I don't know anything about their appropriateness for long-term use, but the ones I saw at Babies R Us were pretty small, cost $100 and included a mattress, and worked for kids up to 50 lbs., iirc.
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The IKEA cribs are mostly the same size as a travel crib but much sturdier, and no weight limit, as I said. They sit lower to the ground than a regular crib, so you could get a lot of use out of it before baby learns to climb out, while still having the smaller size and low profile.
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I think it might be best to get a bassinet that has a high weight limit and use it until we move. That way, we don't have to deal with moving something big, and we can get something more like a crib/toddler bed later.
It's hard to make all these decisions!
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My husband believed strongly in our bed being for us. But each of our kids has been different in their feeding and sleeping needs, and he does care about whether I get enough sleep to remain sane.
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I like to have the baby in the bed with me in the morning when my husband is gone (more room) and I'm only dozing. I'm just too nervous about it otherwise...I'm a pretty heavy sleeper. Nathaniel is in our room in a bassinet, which I love. He's a noisy grunty baby...that few feet means I can fall back asleep while he's busy stretching and grunting.
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There was no way co-sleeping was ever going to work in our home, since my husband has been to more than one call with a baby dead in its parents' bed. To be fair, and not to be alarmist, most of those babies had health problems, but he has seen it more than once, and in fact, made a call just last week where the baby had been sleeping in the bed with Dad while Mom was away, and Dad woke from his nap to find the baby dead.
Again, I don't want to alarm anyone and I think with healthy babies, there is much less risk, but the fact that there IS a risk at all is too much for me, I would never be able to sleep for the worry. And yes, I know, putting my baby in the car carries much more risk, and most babies that die in a co-sleeping situation may well have died from SIDS in crib - yes I know all that. I'm just saying for me, it was not worth it.
I see no reason though, why a pack-and play type situation wouldn't work for a year. Good luck!
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One of the things that has bothered me about the co-sleeping controversy is the lack of readily available information about safe co-sleeping. Two thousand or so infants die each year of SIDS (aka “crib death”), and so there are media campaigns and tons of information available about making your child’s crib safe – lay them on their back, no fluffy bedding, no crib bumpers, etc. About 60 infants die per year while sleeping in adult beds, and almost all of the cases involve known and preventable factors – parents drinking or using drugs that cause drowsiness, smoking, babies trapped between the bed and a wall or against a headboard, or in a pull-out couch type bed, hard sided waterbed, etc. But instead of an education campaign about safe co-sleeping, the media campaigns say not to do it at all, even though co-sleeping in the absence of the known risk factors has been shown in some studies to reduce the risk of SIDS.
And as far as not sleeping for the worry, I would never be able to sleep well with an under 1 year old baby in another room. I’d be up every 15 minutes checking to see if s/he was still breathing. And if (God forbid) the baby died of SIDS I’d always wonder if I would have been able to save him/her if I’d been there. (Just like Belle, I’m not trying to alarm anyone who makes different choices than we did. I just find it interesting how we all fear different things and make our choices (at least partially) based on those things.)
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I've been the night watch for all 3 of our kids, from birth until they start sleeping all night. I've kept them in another room and gotten up and fed them and burped them and changed them every two hours. I've worried about whether they're breathing or not, too, and have put my cheek close many times to assure myself that they're still breathing. I honestly don't think I'd have a chance of saving them if they were going to die of SIDS. I'd have to be hovering over them, awake and alert, all night, waiting for them to stop breathing. That's just not possible. The proper precautions are the best I can do, and then I just have to pray that they'll be all right.
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I've noticed that with baby right next to (or in) my bed, I wake every time her breathing changes. I always get very anxious when she moves to another room and have to check for a month or so until I get used to it. And that's even though they are usually sleeping through the night well before they leave our room.
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quote:Am I dreaming here? Do any of you know of a bassinet or cosleeper or other type of not-huge baby bed can be used for at least a year, give or take a month or two?
I have a dim idea that at least somebody in my family slept in a large basket for the first few months at least (possibly due to similar reasons), but that's probably not good enough for a whole year.
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Possibly a Moses basket? Like a bassinet, not a good idea after 4 months or so.
The Pack 'n Play with bassinet I linked to above really can be used for a year -- longer, even. Bassinet for the first few months, then lift out the insert and use the rest as a crib. I know quite a few apartment-dwellers who've done it.
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I still haven't bought anything, even though I'm running out of time! I think I've decided on a bassinet for the bedroom and a pack n'play for the downstairs. That way I'll have some place to put her no matter which floor I'm on.
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