posted
Yesterday my friend took several pills and drank 6 beers and some other alcohol. I have absolutely no way at all of knowing if she is ok because she lives far away from me. I have no idea what to do and I'm at the end of my nerves right now from worrying.
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posted
Synesthesia, why would she do that? Was it a deliberate suicide attempt?
I don't know what I can do to help, but I can tell you that we do have the techniques to save the lives of most people who poison themselves this way (deliberately or not). I'm sure your friend has a good chance of coming out of this minimally worse for wear.
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It's hard, but you can't live her life for her. Maybe send her a message that you are thinking of her and hope she takes care of herself? But remember that you aren't in control of her -- the metaphor of tossing a life preserver from the stable shore to a drowning person (rather than going down with them) is very apt, I think.
Keep it about her and her choices, even in your mind. It's easy sometimes to feel responsible for everything, and you seem to be one to take a lot onto your own shoulders.
posted
I know i'm just freaking out a bit. I have no way of knowing if she survived this or not and it scared the hell out of me. I just hope there was a possibility that she survived. I guess I'll know sooner or later
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quote: I don't know what I can do to help, but I can tell you that we do have the techniques to save the lives of most people who poison themselves this way (deliberately or not). I'm sure your friend has a good chance of coming out of this minimally worse for wear.
Maccabeus, this is true. But I'd also like to send out a plea for people to view Tylenol as a very inefficient, stupid way to commit suicide -- generally, you don't die, but you may well require a liver transplant ... after feeling really, really crappy for ages (bloated, jaundiced, nauseated, and then there's the lifetime of anti-rejection drugs which screw up your body shape and hair, not to mention the really bad parts).
Taking tylenol and going to the ER means maybe having your stomach pumped, likely having to drink cupsful of sludgy activated charcoal (which will give you black diarrhea for days, and probably make you puke, thus needing a tube stuck down your nose to get it all in), and quite possibly having to drink "Muco-myst" every four hours for several days.
"Muco-myst" is even yuckier than it sounds. Again, you'll proably vomit a lot.
Don't mess with tylenol, ever. I'd really rather go through open-heart surgery again than go through what I've seen some young women have to do in the ER.
Mind you, I'm not a big fan of successful suicide attempts. But most pill overdoses aren't anywhere near successful -- it's just that tylenol screws up your recovery process afterward like you wouldn't believe. *shudder And young women especially seem to think that it's pretty safe, since it's over the counter.
It's just so, so gross. Not "aww, she's so tragic" kind of sad, but, like, ewwwwwwwwww hair-falling-out and vomit-running-down-her-face gross kind of sad.
posted
Another person I know did that. She was in the hosipital for quite a while for liver complication and was very sick. As for this other friend, I have no idea what she took. Some sort of stomach medicine I think. I'm hoping the alcohol made her sick enough to throw it up.
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Macc, I do not. I just know what the likeliest possibilities are. Tylenol is usually in the mix somewhere, because it's readily available. Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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I don't think she took Tylenol. I have no idea what she took. Hopefully it was not something like sleeping pills. Dang, this scares me out of my mind.
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posted
Syn, the odds are (like Macc said) that she will come out of this little the worse for wear, and certainly not dead. It could happen, but it probably won't. Regardless, sugar, you can't change that now.
What you can do is take good care of yourself and stay stable. For you to "lose it" now would be bad for you and for her -- she needs this time to be about her getting healthy and stabilized, not you. Stay good and strong, girl. Be a rock. You can do it.
Any ideas for practical things you could do to help? Could you send a small gift basket or something?
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posted
I don't know. she lives pretty far from me. Plus I have to wait and see if she is ok, if I get some sort of sign or message from someone letting me know. It's torture. She's been like this for several months too, but this is definetly the closest she's come. I just hope she's ok. that's all I want is for her to be ok.
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CT! I think we should be perpetuating the myth of Tylenol being an effective killer!
Do we really need teenagers being more efficient at killing themselves for no reason than they already are?!
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The problem is, almost anything they take is ineffective in the long run. I'd much rather them take something that's ineffective and has no lasting side effects than to take something which is not only ineffective, but also can screw up their lives completely.
Alive + wiser = good Alive + very sick + wiser = not as good
posted
Teenage girls make suicidal gestures or attempts much more frequently than boys, but they usually don't succeed, because teenage girls take overdoses.
Teenage boys, on the other hand, are much more likely to succeed at suicide, even if they attempt it less frequently. They use guns.
Another reason not to have guns in any way accessible to the children in your world.
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posted
This isn't a teenager , by the way. There's absolutely nothing for me to do right now but to be neutral and wait.
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posted
The thing is, whoever it is an adult with free will and the ability to choose. She had friends and support from places (though from far away ) and friends, it seems, that did all they could. But she still chose to do what she did.
Her choice.
What you can do now is be her friend when she returns. Kick her ass for the stupidity, but support her in still choosing to get better afterwards. Duality in friendship is hard, but doable.
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Synesthesia, I can't imagine how awful this must be not knowing. I hope and pray that your friend is physically okay. When she recovers enough to talk to you again, talk to her as much as you can. Just keeping the lines of communication open, and showing you care, can make the difference sometimes between life and death. Suicidal people do have their own free agency, of course, and all we can do is pray and persuade, but love and persuasion make a big difference.
From my own experience, I can say, though, that sometimes the pain can simply be too much to survive. Suicidal people can't give their lives to someone else to live for them. And so they are left to decide what to do. I know that when I was suicidal, I would rather anything at all have happened to me besides my free agency being taken away. For me, that would be far far worse than death. And how humane is that, to leave someone to suffer unbearable anguish with no recourse? I am one who believes that suicide can sometimes be a rational choice. However, nobody at all wants to have to resort to that. All wish they could find another way through. And the love of friends and family makes all the difference in the world to finding that path. What helped me most was acceptance and kindness and people who cared enough to talk to me hour after hour when I was feeling utterly miserable. And people praying for me. Shared pain is a blessing.
CT, the wells of your compassion and caring for your patients seem bottomless. What a blessing you must be in their lives! All of your knowledge and ability is made so very effective because it's in the service of your loving heart. I admire you greatly.
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posted
Let me just clear this up: No, I'm not suicidal or depressed or manic. Am fine
I was just trying to help Syn realize that her friend has free will and Syn did what SHE could to help and she has no responsibility in what, ultimately, was her friend's choice, and not any of Syn's own responsibility.
It's something that people in my field have to learn very early on.
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quote:CT, the wells of your compassion and caring for your patients seem bottomless. What a blessing you must be in their lives! All of your knowledge and ability is made so very effective because it's in the service of your loving heart. I admire you greatly.
Oh, Anne Kate, I wish it were so. Most nights I'm just stressed and cynical and hard-pressed to behave with a minimum of politeness, much less empathy. I just see Tylenol overdoses all the time -- at least 2 or 3 a week, and I'm not working all the shifts -- and every time the young person says to me that [they fervently wished they] knew beforehand what it would be like. It's the major reason for liver transplantation in pediatrics.
I'm with you in agreeing that suicide can be a rational choice, and that the loss of agency for some of us (like me) would be excruciating. I particularly appreciate your eloquence above. Sometimes it seems like the despair is so bad for the young people I see that they can't think rationally -- but that isn't a judgment I can feel comfortable making in the short time I know them. But if they were able to retain some rationality, I'd like the choice they make to be a more informed one.
(((Anne Kate)))
PS: I also really, really worry about the sort of infectiousness of suicidality, especially among young people. The stress of handling the situation seems to push other people over the brink, too. It can be a domino effect.
posted
Definitely there's a domino effect. Partly because those who understand are the ones who end up helping, and you can't truly understand unless you have been there too, and are susceptible. Also, the only thing that really helps is to truly love the person. It can't be superficial or faked. It has to be real love of the sort that naturally gets a large part of your selfness involved and bound up and so (of course) at risk.
I don't know what it would be like if someone I loved whom I was trying hard to persuade to stay here in this life decided to leave me in that way. I expect it would send me close to the edge if not over it. Even now, when I think I am past all that. Even now.
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