posted
I've just completed my first year of college and I've noticed something that almost every male student wants: to become a large muscular mass.
Just to point out, I realize that I'm not a very muscular person (I'm 6' 1 - 150lbs.) I'm always being harassed by my family to gain weight, even though I don't have the motivation to.
I really don't understand everyone's infatuation with gaining mass. My roomates have containers of creatine/supplements that are so large that they could serve as weights themselves in my eyes. My brother takes an 'animal pak' vitamin pack which consits of 11 pills a day (The serving size is 22 pills, but he's 'going light').
Along with these supplements, they also follow a very strict workout routine detailed in the many Men's Health magazines laying around. My brother probably asks me "Do I look Bigger today?" 15 times a week.
When I inquired my friend on why he tries to gain mass he replied with "Why do we do anything? To impress the ladies."
I myself am not a person that tries to impress people, I'm more of a loner. I'm wondering if, like I've often been accused, I am weird that I don't care about becoming a large muscle mass.
Posts: 2756 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
Large muscle mass is good for 2 things: it makes good armor plating if you get hit, and it helps you sink in the pool.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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posted
You know, I couldn't get much skinnier and I'm 160ish and 5'11. Are you eating properly? That's really light for someone who's 6'1.
Posts: 3243 | Registered: Apr 2002
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Alas - wait until you turn 25, and you'll gain all the mass you need. It's like a switch: Metabolism slowdown activated! Then watch those pounds just magically appear, without effort.
(wipes mouth) Sorry. I have a soft spot for them. In fact, one of the sexiest skinny guys I know has an obsession with gaining muscle mass. It has something to do with being an "inferior" man. He thinks that girls only go for guys who are built. It's one of those "hating your body" things. Ironically, he's with a girl who doesn't usually go for the skinny types. Just shows to go you that personality's the only real determiner.
Posts: 4816 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
BtL, I'm 6'0 (give or take a quarter inch), and I only weigh 145. I do eat properly. But you can send me your extra food
Seriously, lifting weights does not cause me to gain muscle mass. I get slightly stronger, yes, but my arms don't get noticeably larger. It's tougher to build muscle mass on long, skinny bones.
Posts: 1813 | Registered: Apr 2001
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posted
I like men slender. I don't like massive men. But these days, I just like whatever Porter is.
I'm sorry that men have felt such pressure to look "sooooo good!" I guess women of this generation have been out to prove that they can be every bit as shallow as men by putting looks first. No more double standards! I would have preferred things to move in the opposite direction, men appreciating women for their big, uh, brains. Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
I don't know, I don't think Creatine is good for you, and I don't take vitamin supplements. I workout to stay fit, and to be strong. I like being able to lift things without help. I like being as strong as I can without looking ridiculously muscular. I'm not one that likes to look huge, because I know that's not very attractive to most women, I just want to stay fit.
And I don't care what you say about women not liking muscular men, I have been flirted with by girls more since I started lifting weights and weighed around 170 pounds then when I didn't and weighed 205.
Posts: 4229 | Registered: Dec 2002
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I don't know... Hmm.. I've always wanted to become better aerobically fit than big 'n' strong. But I'm a crazy hippie who plays lots of frisbee.
Posts: 1592 | Registered: Jan 2001
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I like women that are strong and fit, not these skin and bones models that are supposedly "what men want" these days. I have only met one that can whoop me though. Posts: 4229 | Registered: Dec 2002
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quote: I don't know... Hmm.. I've always wanted to become better aerobically fit than big 'n' strong. But I'm a crazy hippie who plays lots of frisbee.
OO do you play hacky sack too? cause i do, and its mad fun!
quote: You know, I couldn't get much skinnier and I'm 160ish and 5'11. Are you eating properly? That's really light for someone who's 6'1.
No i dont eat properly. I'm not hungry very often.
Posts: 2756 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
Sorry, you can't convince me that looks aren't deeply, biologically more important to men than to women. I respect men who make more of themselves than their biology though. I also think that women can be "conditioned" to focus more on men's looks than they naturally would. I honestly believe things have changed in this direction in the last generation or so. I believe that I have watched the change happen. I stand by my opinions, bigoted though they may be. There are always exceptions to the tendancies though.
Edit: I will give you this, though. As men tend to focus on looks, women tend to focus on money and power. This is arguably every bit as shallow if not more so. If a man is rich and powerful, he doesn't need looks to attract women.
quote: I will give you this, though. As men tend to focus on looks, women tend to focus on money and power. This is arguably every bit as shallow if not more so. If a man is rich and powerful, he doesn't need looks to attract women.
I don't agree with that bigoted remark either. So you're not giving me anything.
Posts: 4229 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Just because something is portrayed on TV doesn't automatically make it false either. Nick, you read much into my comments that is not there. I never said anything to suggest you would find it difficult to like things in a woman other than looks. But I expect "physical attraction" is pretty important to you still. And I believe that "physical attraction" for men is more appearance based than for women. Not ONLY appearance based, MORE appearance based.
When we are talking about tendancies, it is easy to come across sounding bigoted. Blacks tend to have a better sense of rhythm and be more athletically gifted. Those from Oriental cultures, particularly Chinese and Japanese tend to better academic achievers. Making such sweeping remarks removes the human, individual element. That doesn't mean those tendancies don't exist.
I'm not saying that looks are not or have never been important to women. But I do believe that in general they are more important to men. My first comment was tongue-in-cheek. But which gender do you think is doing the most porn surfing? Which gender is more likely to wear lingerie or show skin on a date?
I have found in my experience that a beautiful woman is more likely to fall in love with an unattractive man than a beautiful man is with an unattractive woman. That doesn't mean it never happens, but it is less likely. It is a beautiful thing when it does happen. How many "Beauty and the Beast" stories, brought to us from ages before TV existed, have the Beast the female?
I was talking with some gals the other day who did an informal "study" of what they find most important in a man. The trait given the highest average rating was money. I have to admit, I was a little surprised myself--I was not expecting that. Why do men think that women will be impressed by sexy cars? Expensive cars send the message: I have money. Perhaps society is slowly changing this tendancy as women become more and more the breadwinners or joint-breadwinners of families, but old habits die hard.
I have also found that men of influence, wealth, or power tend to have very attractive wives/girlfriends. Far more often than men of average influence, wealth, or power. Why? Because men of influence, wealth, or power have their pick. Those men tend to choose the most attractive mates. Are there exceptions? Sure. But in general, male wealth and female beauty are highly likely to pair up with each other. Why do men delight in having a beautiful woman at their side? I believe it is in part because they are sending a message to the world, "I am successful and impressive!" I honestly think a man having a hot date is more of an ego boost than a woman having a hot date. (Again--not that there is no ego boosting going on for the gal, just that it is *more* for the guy.)
I think most people reject the very idea of these tendancies because they are offended by them. Understandably so. Truth can be quite offensive. And I am not trying to convince anyone so much as to explain my own opinions and points of view. But I wouldn't be surprised if it were the younger crowd that disagreed with me most.
Sorry to cause offense, but like I said, from what I have seen (taken from far more than TV) these are the mainstream tendancies. I would never accuse Hatrack of being mainstream. Hatrack is generally made up of people who think, and people who think are less likely to follow stereotypes. You'd be surprised how little your average human being really *thinks*.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I guess women of this generation have been out to prove that they can be every bit as shallow as men by putting looks first. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anybody other guys have a problem with this obvious bigoted remark?
No. Everyone is shallow. EVERYone. Especially those of you who are this moment thinking to yourselves 'im not.' Yes you are. admit it to yourselves. You like what you like and you dont make any apologies or exceptions for it. And I dont think a person should have to. Everyone is shallow, and I think that's just fine.
Posts: 2532 | Registered: Jul 2001
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posted
Well Odouls, that's your opinion and you're entitled to it.
Beverly, I thought you were saying ALL men were that way at first.
quote: But I expect "physical attraction" is pretty important to you still.
This on the other hand, is more specific. Of course it's pretty important, but not more important than my looks are to any given woman that I might be pursuing.
quote: Truth can be quite offensive.
True, but what you're saying isn't "the truth".
I'm not saying people like you're describing don't exist Beverly. I would wholeheartedly agree that they do, but I do not believe they are the majority.
Posts: 4229 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Meaning, I think personality is more important than looks, but looks are still important. And let's face it---there's not a whole lot I can change about my true-core personality. I am who I am.
My body though, I can change. I lost 20 lbs last summer, shaking off weight that I had put on 5 years before as a side effect of starting medication. I HATED the way I looked, and felt trapped in a body that wasn't mine. Once I lost the weight (working like a dog in a hot bbq restaurant half the summer), it was much easier to do some things. I found that, hey, I could actually go THROUGH a wrestling practice and not feel like I was just trying to survive.
And yes, I do kinda feel as if girls like it better when you're in shape. I don't blame them. I like it when a girl's in shape too. Granted, it's not all important, and I definetely had my share of women before I lost the weight, but things went slightly uphill after I lost the weight. Keyword=slightly. Like I said: personality usually wins over looks, but not completely.
Anyways, I've been working on getting "bigger" now too. I go to the gym to lift 3-4 times a week, and I can easily see the difference in my muscle size and tone from when I started. Why did I do it? The first reason is the obvious and cliche one: To impress the ladies. If having more-toned muscles might increase someone's interest in me, why the hell not, eh? Other than that reason though, I'm proud of the way I look now. The more tone and size my muscles have, the more dedication and time spent in the weightroom is portrayed. And I feel so much healthier. One of my wrestling coaches once told me that by lifting, you actually decrease the chance of getting muscle-related injuries.
So if it might increase someone's interest in me, it makes me proud, and it makes me healthier, I see no reason to not do it if it's something I'm willing to put time and effort into.
Posts: 1934 | Registered: Jun 2001
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Muscle is healthy. You can do more things and are less likely to be injured in the process. You burn more calories doing otherwise similar activities, meaning you can eat more steak. Yum. From a strictly health perspective, I'd say resistance training is more important for women since they have a naturally higher body fat percentage and are at a much higher risk for bone diseases like osteoporosis, but there is nobody who wouldn't benefit.
Men's Health and its ilk are piles of crap. If they wrote advice that actually worked, nobody would buy the next issue.
Creatine is not particularly dangerous, but it doesn't increase strength either. Some people like its affects on perceived hypertrophy. The problem as I see it is then when you go off it your muscles' ability to retain water is less than if you'd never taken it. Waste of money in the long run.
Being more fit will get you more admirers, fact. Quantity vs. quality, who knows. But if that's your goal, you'd be silly to neglect this factor.
Posts: 1839 | Registered: May 1999
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posted
Just FYI, it works for women, too. I've never been horribly not fit, but as I've aged and spent more time at a desk job, my weight crept up. End of last winter I decided to do something about it, started lifting weights, and lost about 30 pounds. I always hid my weight pretty well, but it was still a dramatic difference, especially as it was moving into Spring and time to start wearing less-bulky clothing.
And all the cool stuff happened... I had more energy, felt better, needed less sleep, was generally happier. Easier to lift heavy things (handy, as I was hauling a lot of cement that summer!) And yeah, more attention from the opposite sex.
I had gone so extreme, though, that I kinda burned out and slacked off, and have put a little weight back on. And I know yo-yoing isn't healthy... but I sure don't feel as good as I used to, either. so I'm starting up again. On that note, time to go lift!
Edit: But to answer the original question -- If it's something you're not interested in, don't do it. Plenty of girls like skinny guys, plenty of girls judge on things other than appearance. Weight-lifting can be fun for it's own sake, but in general, I'd rather read. You've got to spend your free-time how it makes you the happiest.
posted
I'm 5'8" and weigh about 150-155. (I haven't checked just lately.) Interestingly, an awful lot of it seems to be muscle, although I look quite wimpy; I just don't accumulate fat. I'm 28, and my metabolism has yet to slow down appreciably.
I wouldn't mind bulking up if it would fill out my chest a little; due to my abnormal spinal curvature I have something of a caved-in look.
Oh, and I have not had a date in several years. Where do you live, Ryuko?
posted
Hmm. I'm a muscle hound, I admit it. I can find guy attractive if he isn't built. But from all the sports-related hobbies I have, I tend to look for a guy that can/wants to keep up and do them WITH me.
I also lost a lot of weight through resistance training and running a year or so ago. I'm still working on it now. I fence now twice a week and hit the gym four days a week in addition to that. I LIKE tone. I don't want to bulk up, I have muscle enough as it is. But I love the additional energy, the ability to not be so fatigued. Sure, I was tired from the pure footwork of last night's fencing, but I could've kept going and had fun. Snowboarding is the same way too--I can keep going a lot longer because of the shape I'm in.
I won't trade that in. I don't want to gain weight again. No way. This is too much fun.
But in turn, I'm far from the girl "Ideal" now. I have broad shoulders (stupid genetics) and the rest of me is muscle-y. Or something. I'm not the stick-ideal that girls seem to shoot for lately, and guys seem to be attracted to. I dunno.
Posts: 14745 | Registered: Dec 1999
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posted
So much has to do with just basic metabolism. By default.
My oldest son (18) is 6' and 135 pounds soaking wet. Has a 27" waist. However he eats huge amounts of food, constantly and is very hyper -- never sedate. He is type A driven personality, and can't slow down. I figure this will all catch up to him when he's about 30.
Second oldest son (16) (different father genetically) is 6'4" and 250 pounds. Flabby. Couch potatoe. Has been very low energy level for many, many years. It is hard on him because older brother constantly makes fun of his weight, and constantly tries to get #2 son to have the energy and speed of #1 on. He actually eats less than #1 son, but gains weight easier.
I wish they could each just be happy with the way they were made..
quote: And let's face it---there's not a whole lot I can change about my true-core personality. I am who I am.
Not true. There are ways to become kinder and more giving, more open, more self-aware, more sensitive to others' feelings; to overcome anger; to enhance self-image.
Not all exercise is physical.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote:Due to my abnormal spinal curvature I have something of a caved-in look.
Actually, this is called pectus excavatum, and it's often associated with scoliosis. I'm not sure if insurance would cover the corrective surgery, though, because they'll probably just say it's cosmetic.
Posts: 9945 | Registered: Sep 2002
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quote: When we are talking about tendancies, it is easy to come across sounding bigoted. Blacks tend to have a better sense of rhythm and be more athletically gifted. Those from Oriental cultures, particularly Chinese and Japanese tend to better academic achievers. Making such sweeping remarks removes the human, individual element. That doesn't mean those tendancies don't exist.
I'm pretty certain, at least about a sense of rhythm and academic acheivement, that those are caused by CULTURE and not by genetics.
edit: Unless that's what you meant. And in that case, carry on.
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Just shows to go you that personality's the only real determiner.
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