posted
Ugh...I think I'm still drunk from the night before!
My friend Craig is back from Iraq for a week...problem is they let him go because his dad is having heart surgery...but any chance to be back is good so we threw him a party.
All our military friends were there too...about five of them. One named Marv was in Iraq during the invasion and was actually shot (thank god for ceramic armor!) and ended up killing the soldier who shot him.
There are some other not so pleasent stories too from this one...like not taking prisoners when he and his fellows could have. The other soldier boys supported him however when I showed my shock at the party. I've known him for over ten years and would never have thought he was so gung ho about killing... I dunno. Killing in self defense is just fine. But killing enemy soldiers when you could take them prisoner...
Marv, after several drinks, laughed and said during the party that he was a killer. Me, knowing the story of him being shot and killing the guy who did it, laughed and gave him a hug and said no he wasn't. Then he told me about an enemy tank that they came apon. They opened it up and there was a survior. And they killed him.
The others were saying his unit wasn't designed to take prisoners anyway, and I can understand that you're in an enemy country with hostiles all around and you can't take chances. I don't know how all that works but it still doesn't feel all that right to me. *shrug* Even if it is totally fine and legal and all that I still feel weird about how silly old Marv could be in that situation and do those things.
I don't think he's evil or bad or anything...but I still feel.... wierd about it.
He is also back for two weeks leave, but he's going to Korea instead. Much more quiet.
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Still don't know how or even if I should respond. I've been feeling very indifferent lately. And of course a slurpy brain isn't helping either.... mmmm.. scotch....
Maybe I'll just go home early and play video games till I forget.
[ June 11, 2004, 03:32 PM: Message edited by: Telperion the Silver ]
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posted
Just remember that part of the status quo in our military is breaking people down and building them back up into what the military wants. It sounds like he's become desensitized (sp?), which is probably what he had to become in order to survive mentally. We can't expect to put guns in people's hands, tell them to kill, and expect them to feel bad when they do it. I'm sure that hearing those things from your friend was difficult, but just remember that he's been under some serious expectations and stress.
Be sad... that's about all a response as seems to be called for.
You certainly can neither undo the damage nor understand exactly what your friend went through in getting to, and going through, the events you describe.
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posted
I am in no mood for paperwork today.... I think I'll do it monday.
Space, I think you are right on... and I'm doing my own version of mental shields because when I try and really think on it it makes me sad and want to say to him "What the *$#% where you thinking!!!". I kinda said that to him at the party...but much more quietly and more shock than anger...and it seemed so serious to me I didn't want other people to hear. A few of our army fiedns did and we had a 2 minute conversation and then it was dropped. Did not really want to think about it. I do that alot....push upseting things far away. Did I mention I've been indifferent lately? Me not showing emotion is because I feel it way too acutely. And I can totally see how Marvin's been adjusted by the military and I can accept that. eh....
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posted
Part of the thing too is that it is SO close to me... I know who Marv is and we grew up together. It's shocking and touches me deeply. And I've cried about it and for him but like you said Jimbo that's about all I can do. The world is an icky place and we better get on to living in it. In the end this will be a passing thing and won't scare me for life...I've got far bigger personal issues to deal with.
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posted
Telp, I think with time you'll feel better about this. My cousin is in Iraq right now, and it still shocks me when he sends pics of himself weilding a machine gun.
posted
I know excatly how you feel here, and Space Opera has some great advice.
My little brother is a marine and though he's in intelligence and hasn't been in combat (thank heavens) I had a very rude awakening when he came and stayed with me during his leave a couple years ago. He kept calling my Chinese roommate "Charlie" and told me when I mentioned my Moroccan friends that "Every muslim is a potential terrorist." Needless to say, I was shocked and disgusted at the person my brother had become after his training, but I realized that the information he's been fed for 3 years is extremely one-sided and propagandistic and that he's had to go through so much psychological stress and re-building at a very volatile period of life that it's added a totally different facet to his personality. And although I don't agree with the ideologies we teach our soldiers, I also acknowledge the fact that I know nothing about war and killing and what it does to people. So i've come to peace with it as best as I can and I realize that the best thing I can do for him is be a positive example and be open and understanding.
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