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I will be doing everything in my power to avoid wearing a wedding ring. I can't stand constricting things like that. Same with watches, bracelets, turtle neck sweaters. I'd lose the ring within a week. Dad never wore a ring and I plan on humbly following in his footsteps.
Who else is with me?
Posts: 3243 | Registered: Apr 2002
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Bob, my husband hated wearing his wedding ring for the first week. He said it bugged him constantly. Now he freaks if it's not on because it feels so weird.
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In all of this thread I've only seen one story of the girl proposing to the guy... why is it on the guys head to make the proposal? Why does the guy have to do all the hard stuff... asking the girl out... proposing... getting the ring... I mean, in olden days it made a certain amount of sense... cause first the girl had no choice in the issue, then if she said yes she ended up doing a ton of the hard stuff later. But now that we're working toward men and womens equality... why not equality in things like this?
Yeah, if I ever get married, there's no way I'm wearing the wedding ring. Jewlery on other people often makes me feel sick inside and repulses me from them. There's no way in heck that I'm wearing any. My dad is the same way. He's never worn his wedding ring for as long as I can remember.
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Future husband - If you so happen to ever come across this thread, I give you permission and encouragement to propose to me in a grand romantic way....in public. Ok, that is all.
Posts: 1015 | Registered: Aug 2001
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quote: In all of this thread I've only seen one story of the girl proposing to the guy... why is it on the guys head to make the proposal? Why does the guy have to do all the hard stuff... asking the girl out... proposing... getting the ring... I mean, in olden days it made a certain amount of sense... cause first the girl had no choice in the issue, then if she said yes she ended up doing a ton of the hard stuff later. But now that we're working toward men and womens equality... why not equality in things like this?
I have my own theories about this, but I'm not sure how much I want to get into it. Thinking about it.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote: Jewlery on other people often makes me feel sick inside and repulses me from them. There's no way in heck that I'm wearing any.
Consider it. It's your choice of course, but it is a nice guesture (sp?) that you are willing to show the world that you are no longer available, not to mention willing to do something that bugs you for someone you love.
I mean, if it makes you violently ill, then don't do it. Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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I picked out my own engagement ring without Andrew's presence. My grandmother collects antique jewelry and she sent me a velvet bag full of engagement rings. It was surreal. I chose this one: http://f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/kira_marx/detail?.dir=/e208&.dnm=37c7.jpg It was made in 1890 and has the original stones. It's one of the first rings to be made with a Tiffany setting. Andrew insisted on paying for it, even though my grandmother wanted to just give it to him. He wanted it to be from him.
He proposed in Riverside Park, where we went on our first date. It was very romantic and private.
BTW, don't forget that jewelry is NOT covered under your renters' or homeowners' insurance - you have to purchase a separate rider for it.
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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quote: Well that's just lose, lose, what ring will look good when you give it to your future wife in front of the hope dimond?
lol hobbes, I was thinking the same thing
I have always wondered about this subject as well...though I am single and will likely not have to worry about it for a while (to my mother's dismay...she is ready for grandkids) it is something I have thought about. How to know when to ask...and what ring to get. It can be rather nerve racking for a guy. LOL, maybe that is why some guys put the presure of a public proposal on the girl...they figure that since they have had tons of stress, the girl should have some to.
Though I am rather sure I will do it in private.
My parents said they both knew they would get married a while before my dad actually proposed. It was one of those things that after a few months they knew that this was it. I guess they were right since they are still married 28 years later. Maybe it will be easy for me as well...I just have not found anyone that I could live with for the rest of my life. I guess finding the correct ring would be easy compared to finding the person. Posts: 1901 | Registered: May 2004
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Because the timing was typically up to the man, because the girl is ready as soon as she's hit puberty, but the guy needed to "get the family farm" first, so to speak. The guy did actively things - went out in the world, had adventures - and the girl sat around and looked pretty and passively waited for someone to notice her.
You can tell what I think about that.
That was the original meaning. Now...I think it's because social dynamics are weird and messy enough as it is, and life is just easier if everyone's working from the same playbook.
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My (future) wife and I were sitting on a kid's playground at the Orem Rec Center one evening when she kind of let me know that maybe we could go ring shopping.
That was one of the happiest moments of my life. It was very uncomfortable to sit on the metal mesh of the playground for two hours as we talked. But I felt like dancing around and singing because at last I knew she wanted to marry me. I drove home that night singing at the top of my lungs in the car.
We picked out the ring together a week later. I went back and bought it on my own, and set up a nice date in which we ate at the Bombay House and then drove up to Aspen Grove on Mt. Timpanogos, which is where we met.
In the trunk I had brought my guitar and a couple of champagne glasses and a bottle of sparkling cider. I played her a love song that I wrote especially for her, and then we toasted each other with the cider. Then we hiked a little way up a hillside trail to a place we had visited before, a little clearing filled with young ferns. I got out the ring and I proposed to her there.
It wasn't a surprise, but I tried hard to make it romantic and special. I think it worked pretty well. We both have fond memories of that evening, and really, it went perfectly.
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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When Dan and I were dating, we decided long before he proposed that we would get married. And of course we talked about rings. We even looked at a couple of jewely stores together. We decided that we'd go with white gold instead of yellow. And I told him that I really, really liked oval cuts.
He took his best friend with him shopping. I knew he was going, because why on earth else would the two of them be going into Chicago and not inviting me?
When he did finally propose...well, I won't go into the whole story of what a jerk I was to him the whole afternoon before, 'cause that's not what this thread is about. It's about rings. The ring that he had chose for me is set in yellow gold, and the diamond is princess cut(square, for those of you who don't know these terms)!
I love it, of course, and he told me that when he saw it it just reminded him of me and he knew it was perfect - and it was already the right size. But, I'll admit, I was surprised. Not quite what I'd thought we'd agreed on! Posts: 3214 | Registered: Apr 2002
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I already knew what cut she liked and what setting she preferred. I bought an unset diamond from a wholesale merchant. He came to my office and spread about a dozen diamonds on my desk in the cut and size I was interested in. He had me remove any that didn't appeal to me at all and then started comparing them all against each other - size, color, clarity, etc.
After I decided, I got the money together, but we had trouble meeting up again to make the transaction. I ended up meeting him in a Wendy's parking lot on my way to the airport where I was flying out to meet Kristine in DC. This is known as "cutting it close".
If you are proposing and know of a wholesaler, you can get a much better diamond for less money than you will ever, ever get in a chain jewelry store. The markup in those places is obscene.
On the guy proposing thing, I think a lot of it is society. It is hard to say how much. But in my own observations, females seem to be more responsive to being "wooed" than men are. Sure, men love to be wooed by a woman they are already interested in, but I think a woman is more likely to "come around" to a guy she has never thought of in a romantic light before. Worked for me anyway. More than once.
Guys in general seem like they don't like to be "chased" by girls. They seem to think it is tacky.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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rivka, can you give me a couple of links. I want to check to see if someone I know has a preference. Posts: 4116 | Registered: Apr 2002
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I agree about that fine line. I have joked that if a girl likes a guy, he is wooing her. If she doesn't like him, he is stalking! But I think it is more complicated than that. If a guy is acting in a way that is determined and yet healthy, he is more likely to be taken as a "woo-er". (Makin' up words on the spot.) If he is acting desperate and has no self respect, he is more likely to be taken as a stalker.
Learning to be great at wooing is not a bad thing. Shame it had to come at such a price though. (Feeling that women will be intimidated or frightened by your appearance.)
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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In high school, I won a couple of small art contests and got my picture in the paper. Some guy I didn't know called me. He wasn't very articulate, but I wasn't rude.
Then, he walked 6miles to my house, arriving just as we were going to church on Wednesday night. So we took him with us, and drove him home afterward. My parents and I had been very polite to him, but inside I was wondering what they thought. I was hoping they didn't like him too much, because it was a little creepy for me.
Then, as we pulled out of his parent's driveway, my papa started singing "Froggy Went A-Courting" in his impressive tenor. That's when I realized I had the best parents In THe World. Protective of me, but sensitive to the feelings of the strange, obsessive types I seemed to draw. I knew they would never let me be in danger, but I also knew they would be kind to my stalkers. Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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That is ~~so~~ cool. Reminds me of something Ender's parents would do. What can a guy do? You are irresistable.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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I dunno. I think I was just the right mix of cute and friendly/approachable. If I'd been really gorgeous, I bet I would have had fewer incidents of weirdness. Like, this one guy in my art class was all upset because a girl wouldn't go out with him. A girl he was sure God had told him was the one for him. I got shifted to his table (in one of those teacher-trying-to-make-class-behave-by-splitting-up-friends moves), and sort of got the story out of him. Tried to tell him it wasn't the end of the world (the girl in question was an aquiantance of mine, who, erm, didn't even like guys-- didn't tell HIM that, of course).
Nextthing I know, he's following me from the lunchroom to my locker, then my locker to my class, etc. Not talking, just...following. *shudder* I stopped and wakled the other way, so did he.
Me: What are you DOING? Him: I'm courting you. Me: *goes about her business, ignoring her 6' 7" 90 lb. shadow*
He even stayed after school, knowing I had an extra curricular. I knew he would be there afterthe extracurricular, so I had freshman buddy walk me to locker on the excuse that it was broken (Stalker Boy would probably have been better able to fix the locker, had it been broken, than Sweet, Short Freshman). I was so grateful, I gave Sweet Freshman a ride home (3 or 4 blocks).
From then on, Sweet Freshman was in love with me, but him I didn't mind so much. We were friends, and I just pretended not know he liked me (and pretended I didn't like him, because he was freakin' 14 for crying out loud, and I was 17. I mean, it's always good to date people on the same side of puberty as you).
Sorry to ramble. When I was young, I picked up stalkers like shaggy dog picks up fleas, so I think of myself as something of an expert on being a stalkee.
Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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quote: because he was freakin' 14 for crying out loud, and I was 17. I mean, it's always good to date people on the same side of puberty as you
That is a cute story. Maybe they could sense that even if you wouldn't return their adoration, you wouldn't squash 'em either.
He definitely qualifies as the desperate with no self-respect type. I mean that in the nicest way possible.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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When Ron and I married, our first appartment turned out to be in the delivery area for a Dominoes Pizza franchise that Sweet Freshman was, by then, manager of.
He was covering for a delivery guy who didn't show one night, which is how I found out. After that, he'd always cut us a deal on pizza, or send 2 liter sodas we hadn't asked for. He even got me a bunch of pizzas for an office party really cheap. Even called us when they had undelivered or unpaid for pizza to give away.Ron liked him, even though he still seemed to be crushing on me a little.
Ron'll put up with a lot when free pizza is involved. Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Wow! That is one dedicated stalker! I find myself wondering about this magical magnetism you possess that turns strange, forlorn males into your willing slaves.
Wanna share your secret?
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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That was so sweet CT! I love how intimately you know your friends! You pick up on the subtle details that really make magic happen. If only we could all see ourselves through your eyes. Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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I like being courted. I think it's all about the desperation in the voice. If you can sense the desperation, then it's stalking. If he's self-confident - has good points and knows it - then it's because he's noticed you, and if he's patient and doesn't push, then it's courting. And it's effective.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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The first time I was engaged - RIGHT after my mission - I had a very clear idea of what I wanted. Simple, gold, with a little filligree, a sapphire in the center, and three little marquis diamonds arranged like a fan along the side. Jim and I went to the jewelry store and there they had a diamond that had been colored - it was gorgeous. A deep blue-green - I've never seen that color in a gem stone before or since. Jim designed the ring, and it was perfect.
I never wore it - called it before he gave it to me - and this is a good thing because I am tremendously, tremendously glad I didn't marry him, but a very shallow part of me still misses the ring. Is that terrible? The problem is that it was the perfect ring - it's still the design and style I like best, and now I can't have it. I'm going to have to come up with something different. Dagnabbit. I liked that one.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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Ah, the string of broken hearts in my dear Katie's wake! I wonder how they can manage without her!
Katies is the kind of girl that guys lose capacity for rational thought around. At least at first, until they realize how darling and sweet she is. They fall for her @$$ over teakettle. It isn't her fault, really.
When the right man comes along and woos her heart, he will be the object of much envy, I'm sure.
P.S. CT is too kind, but I love her. And don't let her fool you-- she's every bit as gorgeous and magnetic as she claims I am. And more eloquent, to boot. Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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quote: but a very shallow part of me still misses the ring. Is that terrible?
This is horrible for me to say, but I feel the same way about my first engagement ring. I did, after all, pick it out myself. It was all gold, it "swirled" a bit, and had a textured portion.
Porter picked out the one he gave me. While it is not one I would have picked out myself, it is a gorgeous tasteful ring and I love him for doing such a good job picking it out. To this day I get compliments on this ring! Platinum, round cut, six-prong, diamond in the center with two smaller bezel set diamonds on the side with a simple gold accent on either side. Simple, elegant, beautiful.
And the center diamond itself he hand picked. It has a fire and clarity to it that is amazing.
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why is it on the guys head to make the proposal? Why does the guy have to do all the hard stuff... asking the girl out... proposing... getting the ring... I mean, in olden days it made a certain amount of sense... cause first the girl had no choice in the issue, then if she said yes she ended up doing a ton of the hard stuff later. But now that we're working toward men and womens equality... why not equality in things like this?![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
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