posted
Martyrs: People who work ungodly hours because they feel the compulsion to take on all the company's random work, but at the same time affect a put-upon demeanour because they have so much work to do. This despite the fact that there are staff they could be passing lesser tasks onto. Also has the effect of making everyone else look like clock-watchers.
Authority seekers: This happens more frequently when the company structure and job-roles are not well defined. These people like to go to the boss, seek their opinions about company work and then, completely exceeding their authority, tell everyone else what they should be doing.
Know-it-alls: People who have an opinion on every goddamn aspect of the companies business. This in itself is fine; telling the people whose responsibility it is to actually handle those aspects is not necessarily so. I.E. when the boss asks for a revision of a certain design to highlight one element somewhat more strongly, these people pipe up on how the layout could be changed to accommodate it. This, despite the fact they have no business even saying the word "design".
Over-its: People who are so "over it" that they just don't care, particularly when they're the boss. This manifests itself in a complete lack of understanding or caring about any of the problems encountered by their underlings and usually results in the command: "just sort it out" when these problems are brought to light.
Grumpy people: unfortunately, this is now me.
Go ahead, add to the list....
Posts: 2245 | Registered: Nov 1998
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I have an authority seeker boss. He's possibly the most anal person to have ever been born. He's also pretty creepy, and recently got in trouble for sexual harassment.
posted
Cherry Pickers: Coworkers who skim through any queue of work and take the easiest projects/tickets/customers/whatever, leaving the rest of the team with a harder than normal workload.
Hatrackers: People who post on forums when they're supposed to be workin- d'oh!
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As a teacher, I am surrounded by martyrs, know-it-alls, and over-its, and I am bossed around by authority seekers, many of whom are also martyred, know-it-all, over-its.
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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quote:Cherry Pickers: Coworkers who skim through any queue of work and take the easiest projects/tickets/customers/whatever, leaving the rest of the team with a harder than normal workload.
Ah! Thanks for giving a name to it, Brian.
I was thinking of one particularly annoying co-worker who does just this. Or even worse, he will agree to handle a certain task, and when you follow up later, you find out he never did as promised.
Or he proceeds to tell you how to do it so he won't have to.
posted
A special subset of Martyrs are those who take on more than they can accomplish, and then expect everyone else to pick up the slack for all of the things they can't do well now, and do more work themselves. These people, paradoxically enough, still expect credit for all that they wanted to do, even though they passed most of this work off to other people.
How about the Unecessary Administrator who does not actually serve a useful purpose in producing anything, and must therefore create pointless work for other people to do, so that they can point at these projects as "their" accomplishments? I believe that every school has at least one of these. Hey Liz, have you rewritten your school's curricula in the last year? Done any course mapping, maybe? Revamped your performance objectives? Filled out your IPDP?
Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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Tattlers: Workers who believe part of their job is to make sure everyone else is doing their job. And when they're not, Tattlers go tattle to the management. They tend to think they are the smartest people in the department, and are generally thoroughly unteachable.
I hate working with Tattlers as a consultant. They're impossible.
Accounting Monkeys: These are people who don't know the principals of accounting, yet they are AR or AP clerks, often of many years standing. Not only do these people not know accounting, frequently they don't know basic math. They've been taught how to enter a vendor invoice or process cash receivables in the software they currently use, but that is all. Changing accounting software will cause the monkeys much stress and pain, and often leads to early retirement.
I only complain about them because, while extremely nice women (I haven't run into a male accounting monkey yet), they take *forever* to teach. I have to teach them basic Windows skills, then basic math, then basic accounting, THEN we can get to the software I'm there to train them on. They take 6 times longer to train than Warehouse Monkeys, which is really saying something.
Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001
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OK, now I'm curious. Tell us about Warehouse Monkeys.
My own pet hate is Slowpokes : People who have to be told five or six times how to get their program up and running, in spite of taking notes. Well, taking notes on the third run-through, at least. And when they ask questions, they keep interrupting when I try to answer! How am I supposed to teach anything if I can't get a word in edgewise?
Which kind of brings me to my second pet hate, to wit, Americans : Loud-mouthed people who absolutely cannot stand a moment's silence, who are so in love with the sound of their own voice that they must be chattering every second of the day. Give it a rest, people! Some of us are trying to work, or think, here.
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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Ah, well, then let's talk about Tech Monkeys. These are a disappearing breed, I hope, as people become more tech savvy and as certifications and stuff begin to exist, but back when most employers didn't know diddly about computers they would hire people who could fake it to be in charge of technology. These people often know how to hook up a computer to a printer and how to change toner, but not much more. They also tend to buy technology for corporate accounts at greater than street value, and get kick backs in return--after all, they are already ethically challenged, so why not? And after all, their employers don't know any better. These people often hang on for a long time after they become entrenched. (Alternatively, they hide their incompetence by switching employers each year, as they are found out.)
Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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We recently changed e-mail systems. Overall it's a big step up, especially on the reporting side. I was the representative from my department who got to work with the consultant to make sure the new system did everything we needed (along with folks from other depts to make sure it had what THEY need). This also meant training the rest of my team on the new system once it was ready.
I got to teach some people fairly similar to the Accounting Monkeys described above. Older employees who still viewed computers as glorified typewriters, printed out their emails, and were terrified of change. Joy.
The upside is during all of this I got to do lots of meetings, discussions, feedback sessions, and other things that don't really seem like "work" all while being praised for taking on so much responsibility.
That's funny--we're required to do this (though I blow off that particular requirement).
And then there was the time about four years ago when a lot of e-mails weren't getting through, and we received an e-mail suggesting we follow up on e-mails sent and ask people (through e-mail) if they received our e-mail, or perhaps call them to let them know we had sent them an a-mail or to ask them if they had received it.
posted
"Hey Liz, have you rewritten your school's curricula in the last year? Done any course mapping, maybe? Revamped your performance objectives? Filled out your IPDP?"
Ha! Yes.
We were also given a scare story about emailing parents(an efficient way of maintaining contact), to the point where most people don't do it at all.
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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quote:Accounting Monkeys: These are people who don't know the principals of accounting, yet they are AR or AP clerks, often of many years standing. Not only do these people not know accounting, frequently they don't know basic math. They've been taught how to enter a vendor invoice or process cash receivables in the software they currently use, but that is all.
>_< Ok, my co-worker is like this with 85+% of the things she does on the computer.
And since she's the main secretary, she does a lot of things on the computer. Although not as many as one might expect, since she does as much by hand -- writing a dozen address labels for instance, when she could easily cut and paste them from the student lists -- as she can.
My problem is not so much what she does or doesn't do, but that it means a whole lot of things end up on my plate instead. After all, I know how to do them quickly. Never mind that I learned how to do many things over the course of the last year, by TRYING -- and using help files and Google.
I shouldn't complain too much about having to do these things. It's better than cleaning up the stuff she does without bothering to look how it's been done. I had to clean up a bunch of transcripts today. I had entered all the data through first trimester. She entered second trimester. Today I was entering third . . . and fixing what she did when entering second. Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
I hope it's okay to dislike our own weaknesses:
Suckers.
I just aquired an extra ten hours this week. I've done this repeatedly, lately, due to coworkers who decide not to show up. "Yes, please, I would love to work another open to close shift. Give me more."
I had a "Mr. Helpful" show up today. I'm not sure he couldn't be classified as an "Unnecessary Administrator," though. I would try to write here, about how ridiculous my work load is currently, but it comes out as complaining. I don't want to do that. I'll complain about him, instead.
Needless to say, I didn't want to chat with him, or listen to his cutesy, creative little criticisms that sound like suggestions. Why can't he speak plainly and tell me straight up what he wants to say? I don't have time to spend deciphering his little messages and intentions.
Let him set aside some time, that won't interfere with sales time, so he can talk to everyone and deliver his message. I'll even volunteer to help him with organizing it. The message should take about 20 minutes to deliver. Tops.
He proceeded to come into the break room to "talk shop" with me, over my lunch. Um, bad idea. But, I'm a sucker. I should've gone to Burger King.
quote:. . . or listen to his cutesy, creative little criticisms that sound like suggestions.
Ooh, this reminds me of one: Uncomfortable Authority. This is the boss figure who doesn't want to give orders, just suggestions. Suggestions, though, can be disregarded, right? Uncomfortable Authority repeats the suggestions over and over, though, while saying "I don't want to have to tell you to do this . . . " and trailing off. Well, if you don't want to tell me to do it, then I don't have to. If I have to, then it sounds like you're telling me to do it!
Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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posted
Gossips: There they are, standing behind you, ready to whisper the latest goods on one of your coworkers. Five minutes later, they're whispering at your coworker's desk. I think it's kind of like crosspollenation.
Complainers: Whatever the deal, they find something to complain about. Something always has to be tying them down so they can't do what needs to be done. They tend to try to lure you over to their side so you can also see what a raw deal everyone is getting.
Bean counters: Managers who need to account for every scrap of paper and every minute of work. They are dangerous to have around a department full of designers and writers, especially when they pull the purse strings.
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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Hey, how about at least coming up with a creative stereotype for Norwegians, like I did for Americans? I also note that, although I'm exaggerating, Americans really do talk a lot more than Norwegians do. And honestly, what is with leaving the TV on as a background to conversation? You're either watching it, or not. Talking and watching TV at the same time is just rude.
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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I can't carry on a conversation if the TV or the radio is on. I simply am incapable of it; I'm too auditory. I focus too intently, and I can't listen to more than one thing at a time.
Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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You would leave the TV on too if your damn obnoxious kids kept running off with the damn remote.
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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I'm in Minnesota, and we have lots of stereotypes and insults for Norwegians. Somehow though, I don't think any of them were meant to apply to Norwegians who are actually in Norway, downtchaknow? Also, Tante's link had an Ole and Lena joke I didn't know! Woohoo!
quote:Originally posted by advice for robots: Gossips: There they are, standing behind you, ready to whisper the latest goods on one of your coworkers. Five minutes later, they're whispering at your coworker's desk. I think it's kind of like crosspollenation.
Complainers: Whatever the deal, they find something to complain about. Something always has to be tying them down so they can't do what needs to be done. They tend to try to lure you over to their side so you can also see what a raw deal everyone is getting.
. . . and she's both of those, too.
I remember now why I'm glad she's on vacation, even though it means more work for me.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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My work is a special kind of job: A campus job. This means that we have a special kind of irritating coworker. I'll list a couple.
The Networker: I've had a number of coworkers like this. They spend every free second they have (and some of their not-free seconds, which got one Networker fired recently) on the phone, on AIM, on MSN, or talking to friends in the office. A little bit of talking, I could stand, but so much talking is just... flagrant.
The Pinball: This employee has ping-ponged to nearly every campus job we have, not so much because they're moving up as because they have very poor job skills. Luckily, being one of the more high-class-ish jobs on campus, we don't always get this one. Though we do start them off, sometimes.
The Tard: And by tard, I mean tardy. All the time. For some of my coworkers I think it has something to do with time being of less consequence in their homes, but it doesn't fail to drive me nuts. Now that we have two employees on a shift, it happens a lot more.
"I was supposed to come in today?": Half-an-hour after the shift's supposed to be over, he shows up. I've been up since midnight, and it's now 8:30. Not to mention my drive home... (spontaneously goes postal)
That's about it. I fear that at least one of the stereotypes already mentioned is me...
Posts: 4816 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Morons: The person who you have to explain how do do something EVERY time they have to do it, even though it's usually a simple task, and they've done it before.
Everything-they-know-is wrong: This person knows everything, except they think that 2+2=6, and red and blue make green. They often try to impress you with thier knowledge, and then get angry when you prove them wrong using simple examples.
posted
"Everything-they-know-is wrong: This person knows everything, except they think that 2+2=6, and red and blue make green. They often try to impress you with thier knowledge, and then get angry when you prove them wrong using simple examples."
Ha ha. My brother-in-law.
Before the Gulf War(the first)
Me: Do you think we should invade Iraq?
Him: Well, we let Hitler go too long, and look what happened: World War One.
He did not believe me when I mentioned that was the wrong war, and had to look it up in the encyclopedia. He is a Marine.
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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Although from the tone of my post, you might have guessed I'm not necessarily happy to be anywhere near my current Australian commitments at the moment.
I'm also going to point out that on my list, the martyr, know-it-all and authority-seeker are all combined in one person, while presiding over both of us is a boss who happens to be an over-it and grumpy. Posts: 2245 | Registered: Nov 1998
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"Mr. Story Manager" who comes into your office and starts talking, and talking, and talking about sports, his vacation, anything you don't need to know about. You can't order him out, and then he complains of lack of productivity
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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Well, you know, Minnesotans are not really a fair example of Norwegian culture. They are descended from the people we chucked out for being poor and obnoxious, and it shows. Much like the rest of you, in fact. Except of course that England chucked people out for being religious fanatics, France chucked them out for being unable to find a wife, Ireland for being starving and too Catholic to do anything about it, Italy for not having the right connections, and Germany for being too socialist.
No wonder you lot are so weird.
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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"Boss Who Sleeps with Underlings" - yeah, that's my boss.
"Norwegian Whiners" - Gripe about America all the time even though they came here because they couldn't get a decent education in their own country. They don't talk as much as Americans, but that's probably because they don't have much worth saying.
Posts: 4625 | Registered: Jul 2002
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quote:Ooh, this reminds me of one: Uncomfortable Authority. This is the boss figure who doesn't want to give orders, just suggestions. Suggestions, though, can be disregarded, right? Uncomfortable Authority repeats the suggestions over and over, though, while saying "I don't want to have to tell you to do this . . . " and trailing off. Well, if you don't want to tell me to do it, then I don't have to. If I have to, then it sounds like you're telling me to do it!
I never had a boss like that, but last semester we had a professor who would say things like "didn't you say you were going to do x y or z" and we'd be like why can't you just tell us what you want (because he never did).
Posts: 2867 | Registered: May 2005
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American Losers - can't get into universities in their own country, due to the high schools teaching Popularity Contesting and Creative Along-getting more than calculus, so they complain about foreigners taking their places. While they're flipping burgers.
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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Warehouse Monkeys: These men (I haven't yet run into a female warehouse monkey) come in two varieties.
There are the career warehouse monkeys, who are well into their 50's or 60's and have never worked anywhere but in their warehouse. They are always union workers and have never aspired to anything greater than pulling and putting away inventory. Change of any sort (except raises) is regarded as a personal affront and may, in their estimation, be outright illegal. These men get a glazed look on their face during training, and may fall asleep before the session is over. They tend to be the ones that cause the worst mistakes at Go Live.
The second variety are totally unskilled at everything. They cannot type, and run the gamut for accuracy in writing. One hopes they can count. They may be fearful of computers but are not outright hostile. Some actually welcome the change a new computer system brings, because it offers them the opportunity to learn skills. They tend to be more accurate than the ancient mariners above, but take a *very* long time to actually process anything.
It is for warehouse monkeys that I greatly look forward to the introduction of RF guns as part of our software.
And I agree 100% with Ic about Techno Monkeys. Those are worse than Warehouse Monkeys (who actually are not that bad, except for the careers) and Accounting Monkeys combined.
Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001
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posted
I'm pretty sure almost every employee anywhere has been listed in some category or another by now.
One note, though...
quote:There are the career warehouse monkeys, who are well into their 50's or 60's and have never worked anywhere but in their warehouse. They are always union workers and have never aspired to anything greater than pulling and putting away inventory.
I don't think this is very fair. I suspect most of these people HAVE aspired to something greater than putting away inventory, and usually that aspiration is in the form of little kids who have food and shelter because of their parent's job.
Posts: 2432 | Registered: Feb 2001
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Tres, you seem to interpret my description as insulting. Thank God for people who are willing to do menial, repetitive jobs. I sure as heck couldn't do it. Yet those jobs need to get done, and in some cases, high turnover in those positions is a significant cost to be avoided if at all possible.
I just can't fathom spending 30+ years doing essentially the exact same thing, Monday - Friday, 8am to 5pm. And please bear in mind that there are monkeys and there are workers. The monkeys do not engage in any higher brain activity. They have a recipe to follow, they follow it more-or-less, but do not actually think about why they do something or what effect it might have on the bigger picture. This is what makes them hard to train.
Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001
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Pixie, they're usually called Sami by polite people who know what they're talking about. 'Lapp' is the approximate equivalent of 'wog'. Anyway, having oppressed them into having their own parliament and flag, we've moved on to bigger targets; these days we're more likely to grin as we point out the price of oil to Americans. 60 dollars a barrel, was it? Hope you've got money in the bank.
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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The Emotionally Needy: Immediately latches on to any coworker who seems to show them any hit of kindness, and proceeds to rely on them completely for counseling and support throughout the workday. Every perceived slight from another coworker, every unfair demand from the boss, every problem with the significant other, every bad memory from childhood is cried upon whatever shoulder seems willing, no matter how inappropriate or unprofessional.
Posts: 1681 | Registered: Jun 2004
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I work in an academic cancer research lab, and if you think know it alls are bad in offices, you should consider what happens when these people get PhDs!!! I'll admit that many of them are smart individuals, but god do they love to hear their own voice.
Also, there's the socially awkward scientists.. these are the best!
Posts: 441 | Registered: Jun 2005
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quote: Pixie, they're usually called Sami by polite people who know what they're talking about. 'Lapp' is the approximate equivalent of 'wog'.
So we should push for a renaming of Lapland? Do people from Finland take offense to being called Finns? There's a disjuncture somewhere in there, though it wouldn't be the first on a global scale. Hell, can I act insulted when people refer to me as Tex?
Oh, and making a joke about Americans being loud / boisterous / obnoxious is hardly an original insult / stereotype. If you want to see it done proficiently, watch Monty Python's Meaning of Life (specifically the Death Scene.)
Posts: 1368 | Registered: Sep 2002
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posted
Leading Actress/Actor in a Soap Opera: This employee has constant drama in their personal lives, which they then must discuss endlessly with anyone willing to listen with sympathy. They tend to be young women, but the older version definitely exists. The young ones tend to center on drama with boyfriends, minor car accidents, boyfriends, bad haircuts/dye jobs, and boyfriends. The older ones tend to center on illnesses they have and money they don't have.
The main problem with drama queens is that they can't possibly fit any actual work in between their bouts of theatrics, and tend to be distracting. Plus, for whatever reason, they are universally abysmal spellers.
Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001
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