Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today before the eyes of God and in the presence of loved ones, MTV, and the weasely guy hiding under the cake table with the camera, to witness the joining together of Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock in the bonds of holy matrimony. Again.
For, as you know, they descended into wedded bliss once already in a yacht off St. Tropez last Saturday, the long awaited culmination of their on-again, off-again engagement and the beginning of their new life together. But, in as much as this hard-rocking couple has expressed their undying love for each other, as well as their desire to proclaim this love with additional ceremonies in Malibu, Nashville, and Detroit over the next month, with likely press coverage and star-studded parties each time, we honor their commitment.
Should there be anyone who has cause why this couple should not be united in marriage this time, please speak now or leak it to Defamer.com after the ceremony.
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I'm just going to go ahead and congratulate you for a good article before I even read it because you're a brilliant satirist and I love reading your articles.
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