posted
My friend sent this to me, it was originally sent to her by her mom. I'm not sure if her mom came up with it or it was a traveling forward (her mom is definitely sarcastic and cynical enough to have started this) but it had me rolling on the floor laughing. I thought I'd share.
quote:These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods ...
On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! You lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: Keep out of children. (Hmm ... something must have gotten lost in the translation ... )
On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: Contains nuts. (But no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts. (Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one ... )
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this ... )
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
posted
Remember the old days when 5.25" floppies came with "idiomatics" on the back of the floppy sleeve telling you what not to do to disks, such as hit them with a magnet, cut them, etc...?
I'll never forget a company called Beagle Brothers that use to do software for Apple computers. Beagle disks would have pictures advising you not to cut disks with chainsaws, don't feed disks to alligators, don't run over them with a car, don't eat them, don't blow them up with dynamite, etc... etc... Was wonderfully entertaining.
Posts: 3486 | Registered: Sep 2002
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posted
I was delighted, while in Nova Scotia this past fall, to see a sign at the liquor store which noted that if you were vomiting, they would refuse to sell alcohol to you.
It even had a stick-figure diagram.
I love Nova Scotia.
Posts: 2849 | Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
I've seen many of these in real life. One of my favorites is on an air soft gun we got from Japan, and it reads "Do not point at the animal."
Of course, you have to see the little cartoon mischievous boy pointing the gun at a funny little cartoon dog that's running away into some bushes to get the full effect...
The warning label probably shouldn't make ignoring the warning label look like fun.
posted
I got a scented candle as a gift that came with extensive warnings and instructions. To the best of my recall, they included: Do not leave candle unattended. Attend candle at all times. It is important that someone observe the candle closely while it is lit (which made me wonder about the prior warnings -- did they apply to the unlit candle?). Make sure that the wick is kept at a length of 1/4 inch at all times. Do not place on furniture, countertops, clothing, or near combustable materials. In case of fire, call 911.
My son and I had a riot cracking up over that one. We took turns attending the unlit candle, in an unlit candlelight vigil.
On my assemble-it-yourself night table, the instructions (tucked into the box) had as the first instruction, "Open box." Are there really folk out there who thought that the cardboard box with the picture of a night table on it was the finished product?
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
1) Peanuts are not nuts. 2) Some people have a severe peanut allergy, but can safely eat nuts. 3) Some people have a severe nut allergy (most often to walnuts and/or pecans), but can safely eat peanuts. 4) Nuts and peanuts are often batch-processed through the same machinery. ie A batch of peanuts can be roasted and packaged through a set of machines, then a batch of nuts can be roasted and packaged through the exact same machinery; repeating the changeover between nuts and peanuts throughout the plant's operating cycle. 5) The cyclic batch-processing leaves behind peanut and nut residue on the machinery. 6) The residue can contaminate a batch of peanuts with nut fragments, oils and proteins. And contaminate a batch of nuts with peanut fragments, oils&proteins. 7) That residue cross-contamination can trigger anaphylaxis, cause the allergy sufferer to be literally minutes away from death. Without immediate medical intervention, the allergy sufferer can die from anaphylactic shock.
So while the "May contain nuts" on a peanut package, or "May contain peanuts" on a nut package, might be just a joke for the uninformed, the warning is a life saver for those who have those types of allergies.
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"On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this ... )"
Lost my grip on a chainsaw when it bucked unexpectedly; releasing the trigger in the process. Then reflexively caught it by the blade with the other hand to prevent it from falling ~40feet/~12metres to the ground. While releasing the trigger had caused the electric motor to stop nearly instantaneously, chain braking doesn't work as fast. So the chain itself was still spinning around the blade when I made the catch. Saved it from falling, but my glove definitely suffered for my actions. Ended up with a couple of ugly skin-deep cuts on my fingers.
The sad part is that it wouldn't have fallen to the ground. As usual when working up in a tree, I'd tethered the chainsaw to a limb with a 10foot/3meter rope to prevent such an accident from endangering anyone who happened to wander by below. Sometimes the reflex is just wrong. However, I was definitely in the wrong for using that chainsaw at arm's-length while gripping it with only one hand.
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"On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)"
Considering that some IDIOT can successfully sue McDonalds for deciding to hold a cup of hot coffee between her thighs -- while operating a motor vehicle, which is illegal -- then spilling it onto her crotch...
quote: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
All the OTC children's medicine that I've seen are either the same as the adult version, but with smaller recommended dosages or somewhat diluted, but can still be used by adults with a larger dose.
quote: On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.)
Many Christmas light are for indoor use only.
Posts: 4625 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
I think I caught a glimpse of a commercial last night where a woman was holding a curling iron in her hair and started the water running in the sink, then put her hand in the running water.
I have no idea what the commercial was for - or even if I saw it right. I was reading or on the computer at the time (can't remember). I just remember thinking "what?"
I just asked my husband - he remembers seeing it, too, but also can't remember what the ad was for.
Posts: 2034 | Registered: Apr 2004
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quote:Originally posted by aspectre: Considering that some IDIOT can successfully sue McDonalds for deciding to hold hot coffee between her thighs -- while operating a motor vehicle, which is illegal -- then spilling it onto her crotch...
"Here's what the talk show pundits and columnists neglected to mention about the McDonalds coffee burn case:
79 year old Stella Liebeck suffered third degree burns on her groin and inner thighs while trying to add sugar to her coffee at a McDonalds drive through. Third degree burns are the most serious kind of burn. McDonalds knew it had a problem. There were at least 700 previous cases of scalding coffee incidents at McDonalds before Liebeck's case. McDonalds had settled many claim before but refused Liebeck's request for $20,000 compensation, forcing the case into court. Lawyers found that McDonalds makes its coffee 30-50 degrees hotter than other restaurants, about 190 degrees. Doctors testified that it only takes 2-7 seconds to cause a third degree burn at 190 degrees. McDonalds knew its coffee was exceptionally hot but testified that they had never consulted with burn specialist. The Shriner Burn Institute had previously warned McDonalds not to serve coffee above 130 degrees. And so the jury came back with a decision- $160,000 for compensatory damages. But because McDonalds was guilty of "willful, reckless, malicious or wanton conduct" punitive damages were also applied. The jury set the award at $2.7 million. The judge then reduced the fine to less than half a million. Ms. Liebeck then settled with McDonalds for a sum reported to be much less than a half million dollars. McDonald's coffee is now sold at the same temperature as most other restaurants."
Another link on the story: http://www.lectlaw.com/files/cur78.htm Some points: -...was in the passenger seat of her grandson's car... -...grandson pulled his car forward and stopped momentarily so that Liebeck could add cream and sugar to her coffee. -...McDonalds' quality assurance manager testified...the temperature at which it was poured into styrofoam cups, was not fit for consumption because it would burn the mouth and throat.
Posts: 254 | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
My understanding is that McDonalds served their coffee so hot because it allowed them to save money by using lower quality coffee.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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quote:Originally posted by mr_porteiro_head: My understanding is that McDonalds served their coffee so hot because it allowed them to save money by using lower quality coffee.
Porter speaks the truth! It had nothing to do with the Mcdonalds being liable for the woman spilling the coffee and injuring herself, it had everything to do that they were intentionally heating their coffee to dangerous temperatures so as to compensate for the fact they were using low quality coffee and the heat ironed out impurities.
The woman had horrendous third degree burns all over her thighs, THIRD DEGREE BURNS!
edit:
When they mention one of the side effects of lunesta being drowsiness I think every time and occasionally say, "I should hope so!"
Posts: 14316 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
I've read all about it. And she still is an IDIOT. No one who had ever had McDonalds coffee can even pretend that they were unaware of hot it was. Ya takes your chances, ya pays the price. And specificly because she took the risk then decided to blame others for her injury, she is an IDIOT.
Posts: 8501 | Registered: Jul 2001
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posted
No, and superheated is an extreme exaggeration. I bring my soup to a higher temperature, to a boil before serving. Should I be liable for damages when someone decides to pour it on himself? Should I win a lawsuit against my homeowner's policy if I spill the soup on myself?
posted
Age has nothing to do with idiocy. And intelligence has very little*.
* Except in the sense of using the full strength of the intelligence one possesses to fool oneself into believing nonsense.
Posts: 8501 | Registered: Jul 2001
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quote:Originally posted by aspectre: Sometimes the reflex is just wrong.
I was working with stained glass in 7th grade and lost my grip on the soldering iron. It would have fallen about 4' before hitting the floor but I still tried to catch it. And was rewarded with a nasty burn on the side of my finger of course.
Posts: 3420 | Registered: Jun 2002
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posted
I don't think you appreciate third-degree burns. Among other things, they don't usually hurt, because they damage nerve endings. If it's a true third-degree burn, the skin tissue will never heal. In this case, she had to get skin grafts.
Sure, she knew there was a risk, but I bet she anticipated second degree burns at the worst. At 180 degrees coffee can cause third degree burns. At 160 degrees, which is still hotter than most people make it at home and hotter than what most restaurants will serve it at, the coffee probably wouldn't have even caused second degree burns. Consumers, even knowing that the coffee is very hot, were completely ignorant of the risk involved. Honestly, I still have trouble believing that hot coffee can cause third-degree burns, but apparently it can. I mean, I've placed my entire hand in boiling water before and only got a slight first degree burn. Granted, it was no 2-7 seconds of exposure... but still. That hot coffee was, for most people, hot beyond their imagination.
"And specificly because she took the risk then decided to blame others for her injury, she is an IDIOT."
This is what makes people idiots? I might call them childish or immature, but idiotic? At the worst, she's not taking responsibility for her own actions. If that's how you define an idiot, okay.... I won't argue with how you define things, but my understanding of the word is a bit different.
Now, if you want to call her an idiot for engaging in an activity without fully understanding the risks, you would have a point. But most people aren't going to study up on what temperature coffee can cause third-degree burns and then go through the trouble of making certain that restaurants they go to don't serve it over that temperature. It's common practice to assume that coffee is served at a temperature that won't cause third-degree burns. I don't think that assumption is idiotic. Serving it that hot was pretty stupid on behalf of McDonalds.
"The judge called McDonalds' conduct reckless, callous and willful."
I tend to agree with that assessment. They knew their coffee was unreasonably hot, and as someone who would have underestimated the severity of a coffee spill, I'm glad they don't serve it that hot anymore.
Posts: 247 | Registered: Feb 2007
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posted
And you still don't see McDonald's labeling their apple pies with a "Warning: filled with lava" statement, do you?
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Lost my grip on a chainsaw when it bucked unexpectedly; releasing the trigger in the process. Then reflexively caught it by the blade with the other hand to prevent it from falling ~40feet/~12metres to the ground. While releasing the trigger had caused the electric motor to stop nearly instantaneously, chain braking doesn't work as fast. So the chain itself was still spinning around the blade when I made the catch. ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
