Happy New Year! It’s that magical time of year when the witty columnist dives deep into his or her own personal pool of boiling creativity and emerges, dripping, with one of exactly two of the only possible column topics available: resolutions for the new year, or predictions for the new year. It’s enough to make you long for February to come, just to get past them all.
I, however, am far more imaginative than that, and so I’m going with the third topic: predicting what will happen with my resolutions. Ready? Let’s go!
GET IN SHAPE
Little vague for a resolution, really. I already have a shape -- that of a Bartlett pear -- and it serves me well. I am difficult to abduct, I wobble back to an upright position no matter how far I am tipped, and when sitting I always have a useful table in front of me to hold snacks and beverages. Why change?
START A DAILY EXERCISE REGIMEN
That’s more like it. Healthy, smart, forward-thinking. I’ll actually do it too – assuming “daily exercise regimen” translates to “feebly work out with awkward, barely-remembered exercises from junior high gym for nine days before oversleeping once and then never exercising ever again.”
I usually get a grin out of all the people who craft a New Year's resolution to work out regularly. They come to the gym and workout on a fairly regular basis. After a couple of months, they disappear. Sometimes, they reappear the following year at the same time.
It's good too see people trying; it sucks to see so many lose sight of their goals.
(I work out regularly, year-round, barring injury or sickness.)
Posts: 1813 | Registered: Apr 2001
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posted
This was one of my favorites, Chris. I started copying things to quote, but then there were better and better ones.
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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