posted
Has anyone ever heard of an actual case of someone acting as a speaker for the dead at a funeral?
Posts: 6 | Registered: Feb 2005
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I'm not sure it's really possible in our society as we haven't gone through the process of anihilating another sentient species and then learning that we were wrong to do so. Also, you look at what happens in SFTD, the daughter asks for a speaker and the mother doesn't want one. The speaker has to go investigating the truth from the family of the deceased. I don't discount that an honest speaking may have occured here and there, but usually eulogists are lined up for funerals according to dynamics of family politics and the eulogists only have a few days to gather their remarks.
Still, it causes me to reflect sadly on the sectors of my life and my husband's life that each of us chooses not to participate in. I mean, it's nice to go to a cousin or sibling's funeral and learn things you never suspected about them. Is it as nice for that to happen with your spouse? I recall that line from "Shall we dance" about how marriage for that woman was having a witness to her life. I don't think couples should limit their interests to what the other person is also interested in, though.
Posts: 2010 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
In the intro to SftD OSC speaks about how he's heard of people having Speakers- I think some people even sent him texts of what they said.
Posts: 30 | Registered: Feb 2005
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posted
I think I'd like having a Speaker at my funeral, it would be interesting to say the least. Yes, there'd be some embarassing things talked about, but I wouldn't have to live with it.
Posts: 681 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
I know of at least six people who have actually done a "speaking" at a funeral - that is, spoken candidly about the person's whole life, flaws and all. One was for the man's own father, an alcoholic who deformed the lives of his family. The response in every case has been: Thank you for facing up to the truth of this difficult life. There was no attempt to "punish" or abuse the dead; but candor about good and bad made the funeral truly cathartic for all, and brought the truth of the whole life into the open so the person could be dealt with as he or she actually was.
The trouble with a speaking is - you can only discover the outward life, no matter how you try to imagine the inner one. So you never get the WHOLE life ...
But the outward life may be enough. After all, that's the life that the people around him or her knew.
Posts: 2005 | Registered: Jul 1999
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posted
Even before I read Speaker I wanted to have someone tell all about my life and how it affected others. So, reading Speaker only solidified it and gave me an actual name so that people would know what I'm talking about.
Posts: 46 | Registered: Apr 2005
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