posted
Since working for AOL, I've gotten a call from "JayZee" "Homer Simpson" "God" and "Kermit Frog". Sure, its expected that one would have to deal with a couple of weirdos. Doesn't mean I can't have a good laugh at them. A Combat Nun called last night, where if I typed out what she was saying, it would be the equivalant of 2 Landmark posts.
The Combat Nun was a very interesting call that lasted an hour. She called in just wanted to let us know that she couldn't get on AOL. I opted to transfer her to the "right department" (technical) and she said no thanks, and went about telling me her life story. She started out telling me that she was a POW and was in a cage for 3 years and was "willingly raped" and that she witnessed 24 people getting their heads cut off. She then drifted to how the poor people in Asia and Oriental countries need all the support we can give them.
Then she told me that she was a Combat Nun. But she said that she was happy doing the lords work and that I should get married (I thought God said I was guilty of Adultry?) because all ladies were "The Brides of Jesus." I wondered why she would want me to marry Jesus's bride. I know that if I was going to get married, I wouldn't want someone marrying my bride.
About 1/2 an hour into this call, she apologized for it being too long. She said she'd order me a pizza. Since I was going to get off work in 40 minutes and I wasn't hungry, I kindly declined. She informed me that I wasn't like her son, who would never turn down a pizza. She then went on to explain that her son was a good man. He's a programmer for the government and a professor at some school. He makes 160,000 a year. I said "Wow, thats a lot of money" which got her to say "No, thats about a quarter of what programmers get." I had a bit of a laugh at that one. Anyway, her son helped program some program for Air Force One and Air Force Two. She asked her son if he had put in any back doors and he said no. The Combat Nun was pleased that her son wasn't getting into any trouble with the government.
She then talked a little bit about the worm virus going around and how it is going to eat her computer.
She was an interesting lady, and those were the interesting parts. She talked a lot about other stuff, how the soldiers in Iraq are refusing to fight, putting down their guns and walking away. I didn't really say much to her, since I just wanted to sit there and ocassionally say "Uh huh" "Right" "Then what happened."
posted
Er...not that that wasn't an interesting story, but just out of curiosity, don't you guys have call times you have to try and stay under at AOL?
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
Actually, they want us to at least stay an average of over 7 minutes per call. I haven't been told squat about any maximum time.
Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Although, it probably wasn't fair to other AOL customers who had actual computer problems. I've been on hold with AOL for hours at a time, or I'm bounced from department to department like a ping pong ball. It's not fun.
posted
What does a Combat Nun do, you think? Battle Combat Nuns of other orders? I can just see the Benedictines vs. the Carmelites. "In this corner, in the brown habit, Sister Mary Celestine!"
Posts: 2843 | Registered: A Long Time Ago!
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This is not as good as the Combat Nun, but lets call her Crazy Mary (CM). I was filling in for a pharmacist at a store I had never worked before:
CM called and asked me how much Risperdal she would have to take to kill herself. I refused to answer her question and told her she could only take her medicine as her doctor prescribed. She repeated the question for Xanax, Valium, Prozac and some other ones. She asked me for my name. I said Bob (sorry Bob). She asked for my last name, I said Bob. She asked your name is Bob Bob? I said Bob Roberts but everyone calls me bob bob. She asked if I wanted to come over and "shake a leg". I told her I was married. She explained that she lived alone and was lonely and if I had any friends male or female, to send them over because she was ok with either. She then offered for me to come over and "trip out" on her Risperdal because it made the groundhogs in her back yard look "frickin HUGE!!!". I hung up and called her doctor and asked if she was being medicated correctly. Armed with new information, I called social services and asked that she be admitted for psychiatric care. After several phone calls they explained that since she was not "actively suicidal" that she could not be commmitted involuntarily. Evidently if you say, I am going to kill myself, that is not reason enough for you to be involuntarily committed. You have to say I am going to kill myself with a candlestick in the library or something like that to qualify for involuntary committment. So she calls back and tells me she is married to Dwight Yoakham, and that Sharon Stone is not and that Dwight Yoakham is her boyfriend. I said I thought you 2 were married and she said we are and I said that if you were married how come he is your boyfriend. Anyway the conversation ended badly and I never heard from her again.
Posts: 1870 | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote: What does a Combat Nun do, you think? Battle Combat Nuns of other orders? I can just see the Benedictines vs. the Carmelites. "In this corner, in the brown habit, Sister Mary Celestine!"
LOL, that sounds like an anime... BATTLE COMBAT NUNS SUGOI YO!!!
posted
All I'm sayin' is that my aunt is a Catholic Nun and her brute strength ranks only behind the enigmatic "old man strength' that develops in some geriatric males.
Be afraid, be very afraid.
As for the Risperdal experiments, I am afraid the outcome would be disappointing in that you are not hopelessly insane to begin with. However, it may make any small woodland creature appear bigger than its actual size.
In fact, let me grab a bottle, I think there is a warning label to that effect on the side of the bottle...
Posts: 1870 | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote: All I'm sayin' is that my aunt is a Catholic Nun and her brute strength ranks only behind the enigmatic "old man strength' that develops in some geriatric males.
I can vouch for the nuns being strong. It's those yardsticks they're always swinging around. They hurt like hell (kind of ironic, hurting like hell and they're nuns...)
Posts: 183 | Registered: Aug 2002
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