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Here's a question. I can't stand to watch someone be humiliated, even if it's on TV or in a movie or a play. I'll close my eyes, shut out my ears, leave the room, change channels or anything I can do to avoid watching humiliation.
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I also hate humiliation. I can't stand watching someone make mistakes, even in real life. Even if someone calls someone else by the wrong name, and the person laughs at them I am mortified for them.
I just saw Zoolander last night. You probably know there is that scene when he goes up to collect Hansel's award? Well that was so humiliating I had to close my eyes and hold my ears until it was over.
I also hate watching bad things happen to people especially when that is the whole premise, and it is supposed to be funny. For that reason, I can't watch Mr. Bean, because I always feel so sorry for him.
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Mack, I feel the same way. I feel even worse when it happens to my children. I get physically ill.
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I don't make fun of the people that are being humiliated, and I try to help them out afterward by talking to them about it.
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I teach in a middle school, and I want to find the person who first decided that humiliation of peers "is just what kids do at that age."
It is not true. It is what they do if no one helps them learn other ways to communicate with each other.
I remember a time in sixth grade, when there was a circle of kids tormenting a girl who was unliked. They were pelting her with snowballs and chanting her nickname, which was terrible. I stood outside the circle, not joining in, but doing nothing to stop it. I cringe when I think of it. I am so ashamed.
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About what just happened, and if I can do anything to help them. If they don't want to talk about it, I distract them with another topic.
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Me too. I usually don't look away (I don't "look away" from most bad things, I just take it) but it is extremely uncomfortable.
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You people who can't stand humiliation oughta never watch Curb Your Enthusiasm. Larry David gets into the most humiliating predicaments, every single episode. Personally, I love it.
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I can't stand watching people get humiliated, either. It always makes me cringe. I can hardly read the Pensieve scene in HP5 because I hate seeing Snape humiliated.
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I don't watch tv so I don't have that problem, but when I see it going on in real life I pretty much jump in and stop it. I jumped in and stopped a fight that was breaking out at city stages one time a few years ago, for instance. I know it's presumptuous, but I just make everybody behave around me. I don't care to watch people acting like that, and everyone is a lot happier when they act right.
I hate it particularly when a parent humiliates their child in public by correcting them in a mean way. That you can't really jump in and stop, but I usually try to catch the kids' eye and grin in a conspiratorial way or something to show them I understand, that it isn't them. If it's really bad, I might think of something to say to the parent in a very mild way to sort of break their anger and bring them back to reality.
I hang around with nice people so it doesn't happen often, except sometimes with my nieces. When I'm around the girls I don't let them do it to each other, and I tell them that's not the right way to act, and I ask them to please love one another as I love them, and I try to distract them with some game that's more fun. That usually seems to work until next time. A lot of times they're just bored and need someone to pay attention to them.
The other thing I would do, especially when they were younger, is whomever was being picked on, I would just pick her up and take her to read her favorite book to her, or in some other way reward her with my complete attention for a good long time while totally ignoring the offenders. Adult attention is a scarce and precious commodity for kids, so can be used as a great force for good, I've found.
[ August 17, 2003, 10:32 AM: Message edited by: ak ]
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For strangers in public, only if it's loud enough for me to overhear. For my nieces it's because I'm usually with them listening and paying attention to them. Usually at family parties the grownups sit at one table, and the girls and I sit at the other <laughs>. It just falls out that way cause any time I tried to be with the grownups, one of the girls would come and drag me by the hand over to be with them anyway.
[ August 17, 2003, 05:03 AM: Message edited by: ak ]
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I'm that way too, and I will switch the channel or stop the tape. I didn't make it through Meet the Parents. That was absolutely one of the worst movies I have ever seen half of. If I can't leave, I will close my eyes and cover my ears.
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Wow, I found that movie very hard to sit through, for the same reason! I kept closing my eyes and wincing but by the time I realized how uncomfortable I was, I really wanted to see the ending. So I stuck it out. I'll never watch it again, though.
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I have the same problem, to a point. I don't mind it until the embarrasment/humiliation gets bad.
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Icarus, I felt the same way about that movie. I hated it because I felt so bad for Ben Stiller's character.
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I feel exactly the same way, Mack. Even when I'm watching "Friends" I can't support Joey to make a fool of himself in front of his friends...
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I do that too. I had to leave the room when we were watching "Meet the Parents". I have a hard time watching the "special music" in church, where people get up and sing a song, because very few of them are good enough to pull it off. The worst part is, I don't think they're embarrassed because they don't hear all their mistakes, but I do. So I'm embarrassed for them, even though they aren't embarrassed themselves.
Just a question. How many people who answered this thread with a "Yes, I get embarrassed" are easily humiliated when they make a mistake themselves, and can never let it go? I do that.
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I hate reading a book over again and knowing that the character will have an experience so painfully embarassing, or watching a rerun of a show when that happens or a movie... It just makes me ache for the person.
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When my son was in kindergarten, I used to put a little Thomas the Tank Engine spoon in his snack bag, because it fit so well in the applesauce container. One day, as I was getting his snack ready, with my back to him, he asked me to please not put the Thomas spoon in. I knew what was coming. I said, "Did someone tease you?" and as I turned around, his face crumpled and he nodded.
He had been teased about the spoon for weeks, my poor baby, and never said a thing.
I hugged him, as much to hide the tears rolling down my fae as to comfort him. Waaaaah.
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I'm there. Yesterday, shopping for a new backpack for my Kindergarten bound son, I made sure that he did'nt get a Bob the Builder pack for the same reason!
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The worst part is that my kids never tell me when they have been humiliated. They just take it. I want to throw small children around when I hear about it,(not really!) but I know it is part of growing up, to SOME extent, that they have to figure out how to deal with these situations. I just wish they would talk about them as they were happening.
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Metoo, but espeaially when it's meant to be humorous. The Three Stooges, and pretty much any other kind of screwball comedy makes me cringe, as I think about how I would feel in that situation.
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A lot of times they're just bored and need someone to pay attention to them.
