Peculiar happenings of a most amazing nature have taken place today in Hatrack River. I scarcely know where to begin.
This morning, just after finishing a lovely breakfast of eggs, oatmeal and bacon, I went out to the front of the hotel to see a strange man with wild hair and big goggly eyes ride into town on the oddest looking horse I’ve ever seen. It was a gray mare, gently dappled white, with a pure white mane and tail, but her ice-blue eyes were as dead as dried peach pits, and the smell she exuded was that of an exhumed grave, decayed and rotting. I quite thought I might faint simply at the sight of her. Her glossy coat was all that appeared to hold her bones together, so gaunt was she. Yet she trotted along at such a spritely pace that I marveled at her impossible energy. Her neck arched in a pleasing way, save that the vertebrae stood out against her coat.
The strange man rode to the middle of Town Square and dismounted. Curious, I followed. There, he attracted a small crowd about him, though no one was eager to get close to his cadaverous horse.
“See you this fine horse, good people of Hatrack?” the wild haired man called out. He was wearing a long dark coat, which swirled at his ankles as he stalked around his horse, addressing us. “She is nearly 80 years old, if you can believe it.” He paused. “Now you may be wondering, why I, A.F. Robots, would be here telling you such an implausible thing. I come with miracles in one hand, and eternity in the other.” He gestured with his left hand, and then the right as he spoke. A sly grin spread across his face.
“Blasphemy!” muttered a few in the crowd.
“Not so, neighbors, not so! For you see, I found the famed Fountain of Youth, but this was not enough. I’m a scientist as well as an explorer, and it seemed to me that if God should provide waters to give life eternal (for from where else should water come than He who made everything), then would He not also give it to those already passed beyond the veil? My sweet mare here is a stunning example of the success of my experiments. Yes, she could stand to gain a few pounds, but is she not the loveliest creature you have ever seen?” Mr. Robots voice built in strength and passion as he continued his speech and his goggly eyes rolled on the verge of madness. I was too stunned to breathe. I could not guess where he was leading his extraordinary address.
“Tell me,” he continued smoothly. “Has there not been a rash of sudden deaths in this fair town? Is there not one person here with a loved one they wished returned to them? Good people of Hatrack, I can bring them back!”
Shocked silence reigned for long seconds. Then the coach conductor with tears bright in his eyes, stomped forward and grabbed Mr. Robots by the throat. “My Evie is gone, and you cannot bring her back. Do not make a mockery of my pain!” he growled intently. General murmurs of agreement rumbled through the crowd.
“No, no, you misunderstand me, neighbor! I do not mock! Please sir, let go.” Mr. Robots slowly pried the conductor’s fingers from his throat and backed away hastily. “I cried for days when my good horse here died! Yet here she is, standing before you as hale and hearty as ever!” I looked at her again and shuddered.
He continued, “And she had been so long dead, I hesitate to tell you. But I see that you doubt my skills. See here, good man, she was the horse I had as a boy. I missed her so dearly that I never forgot her, and when I discovered the Waters of Youth, I trudged back to my boyhood home and found but a single bleached bone left of her. Despairing and desperate, I dropped that bone in the bucket of Water I’d brought. Weary, I dropped into a deep and dreamless sleep. In the morning, her soft nose nudged me awake.
“Since then, I have been following Mr. Witherspoon after he enacts his ‘land development plan’, in the hopes that I could help other unfortunates like myself. This isn’t the first town Mr. Witherspoon worked, you know.”
The murmurs of the crowd grew louder. The coach conductor, unable to contain his temper further, grabbed Mr. Robots and turned him forcefully around to face his horse. The emaciated mare ducked her head and extended her nose toward her master, longingly. “See here, Mr. Robowhateveryourname is! This horse is the worst desecration of nature I’ve ever seen. If you are seeing beauty in this...this....equine cadaver, then you are plumb mad, sir, and I will see you hanged before I let you touch my dead daughter!” the conductor spat.
The crowd roared in agreement and grabbed Mr. Robots, dragging him to that ugly tree. The nooses of the previous villians of Hatrack, assassins for Mr. Witherspoon, still hung empty. In moments, Mr. Robots occupied one loop, all while he protested vociferously that he was not mad, that his horse was the most beautiful in all Creation, and that Death had no hold over him.
In all these claims, Mr. Robots was misinformed. Death took him just as it had taken his compatriots. And only a madman could have thought his pitiful horse was beautiful. Perhaps in her living days she had been, but now, her presence was an affront to the God-fearing citizens.
The mare watched in silence as her master was hung from the tree. The moment his neck snapped and life left his body, she screamed. It was an awful sound, echoing the nearby hills. She reared up, pawing the air in anguish, then galloped at full speed toward the tree. Her chest hit the trunk with a sickening explosion, while the scent of rotted meat hung heavy in the air. Then she reared back and lunged at the tree again. This time, a branch, broken from the force of the impact, left a jagged stump behind, and in rearing up, she impaled herself on it, joining her master in death. Again.
I stood shivering at the extraordinary sight, then muttered a quiet prayer for her tortured soul.
I believe, dearest Diary, that Mr. Robots and his dead horse were the last of the murderers of Hatrack. You see, not only did they follow Mr. Witherspoon, taking advantage of the mourning families, they were active participants in the murders, for the more dead, the greater the profit in returning them to life. It was, I believe, a plot between Mr. Robots and Mr. Witherspoon to accomplish both their evil ends.
With that, dear Diary, I will close today’s entry. I must pack my things, for I leave this very day for home. I cannot begin to guess how future vacations could top this one for excitement.
Sincerely, Miss Jenny Wren
**************
Congratulations, Citizens!
asQmh -- CITIZEN, died of natural causes Brettley -- CITIZEN, killed by mafia Dead_Horse -- MAFIA, killed herself eslaine -- CITIZEN, killed by mafia Evie3217 -- CITIZEN, killed by mafia hansenj -- CITIZEN, killed by mafia msquared -- CITIZEN, killed by mafia rivka -- POLICEMAN, killed by mafia Advice for Robots -- MAFIA, lynched jehovoid -- MAFIA, lynched Narnia -- CITIZEN, lynched PSI Teleport -- MAFIA, lynched Ryan Hart -- CITIZEN, lynched Sopwith -- MAFIA, lynched
In truth, the role of the doctor did very little. Avadaru never sent in any saves. From my perspective, it was almost painful to watch. The mafia was so careful to not take out Damander, on the chance that the doc had saved her, and it appeared to me that they didn't want to risk having their kill fail. All reasonable assumptions.
This was a really tough game to mod, largely because I didn't know very many of you and most of you were new players. Plus we were playing with new rules that didn't really cover enough. I made a mistake in making too many Mafia, which is why I altered the rules along the game -- I didn't want to see the game end as lopsided as the last one and it was looking like that possibility was a near certainty.
Thanks a ton all of you for sticking with it and putting up with the changes. You're all veterans now!
That was definitely worth reading, although personally I like to think of myself more like Doc Brown from Back to the Future. A GOOD kind of mad scientist.
Anyway, I had fun killing you all. Each one was a pleasure. No hard feelings?
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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Great game, enjoyed it immensly! Thanks Jeniwren!
I've been thinking about trying my hand at this and do a Mafia Mafia game. Everyone would be members of the Mafia, but a few would be undercover agents trying to send the members down the river. There'd also be a Shyster that could attempt to get a person's case thrown out of court (like the Doctor saving a townie), and an Enforcer who could extract the truth about one of the members each day (like the policeman). But, it's just a thought at this point.
Posts: 2848 | Registered: Feb 2003
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ONE POINT TWENTY ONE JIGAWATTS worth of fun and laughter. Thank you Jenniwren for Neckstretchin, backstabbin good time Posts: 172 | Registered: Jun 2003
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OH, and looking over the list, what happened to Dead_Horse? What's this about killing herself?
Posts: 1789 | Registered: Jul 2003
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That was the HORSE. Literally. Jeni, your a creative genius. That was so fun. I'm definitely in for next time too.
Posts: 6415 | Registered: Jul 2000
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Wait, I did send in saves, jeni - didn't you get them? Damander and fugu. Oh well, looks like they survived anyway. Posts: 1225 | Registered: Feb 2002
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Eh...you sent in saves, Avadaru? I didn't get them...
Did I handle your character alright, Rain? Making you a horse in the story was a challenge. And how a Dead Horse could do much of anything, let alone kill lots of people, was even more so. I just wish I'd thought about it ahead of time, and I would have put you in with the herd of black horses, so that there was effective foreshadowing. That would have been cool.
I'm glad you all had fun. And if anyone didn't have fun, then I'm sorry. Maybe next time.
m2, you're set for first round immunity on the next game, so you should at least make it to day 2.
Sopwith, if you want to run a game and want help, I'd be happy to team up with you. I like your idea.
afr, I was actually thinking of an evil Doc Brown while writing, so it's funny you should say that. The problem with not making you evil is that you were, in fact, a Bad Guy.
Thanks Ryuko! If Sopwith doesn't do one, or David Bowles doesn't reappear sometime soon, I'd be willing to run another game toward the end of the month, maybe starting the 22nd or so. Then I'll have to quit until next year, I think. I've got a ton of stuff coming up next month, lasting until Thanksgiving at least.
Thanks again, you all...that was a blast to run. Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001
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Yes, Jeniwren. It was perfect. I don't suppose it happens very often that the last mafia hit is the last mafia member. Kinda takes the joy out of the townies winning, eh? I didn't see any way to win. I hope that the other mafia members are not too upset with me for choosing that route.
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Now I shall never look at one of Dead_Horse's posts without thinking of that eerie, ghostly horse striding confidently into the town... I can see its eyes... (shudders)
Posts: 4816 | Registered: Apr 2003
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I was very happy with this game. Being mafia is definitely more fun than being townie. Too bad we couldn't have hit some cops before they did their damage. And I like Dead_Horse's decision to commit suicide. It's very Roman. Congratulations to the stupid citizens for winning the stupid thing.
Posts: 3056 | Registered: Jun 2001
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