posted
I knew she was dangerous. But how could I have known that this term she'd be living withing twenty metres of my house? I spent the last couple of terms consciously avoiding her, but this term circumstances arranged themselves such that when I decided that I was going to ask someone to the engineering semi-formal, she was the only possibility. The three nights before I finally asked her, I had dreams in which I asked her. That really freaked me out.
And then she said no. For me the important part was that I asked, but I still felt a bit disappointed. Of course, she said no because she was going to be out of town, but she also said that the engineering semi-formal wasn't her sort of event (fair enough, I haven't seen her at one since first year).
I thought maybe that would be that. I figured this was sufficient resolution for me to get on with my life. I went on the engineering pub crawl and hit it off with a classmate I don't talk to often; then at the semi-formal I hit it off with a first year student and wound up walking her home. I also got to bust out my ballroom dancing skills and learned to samba as well, which is the real reason that I go to the semi-formals now. My friends were bitterly disappointed when they learned that I'd chosen not to get the first year girl's number, but it's not as though I don't see her around campus anyway should I change my mind about asking for that particular piece of information. For me, it was enough to feel attractive, just like it was supposed to be enough that I asked the dangerous girl to the semi-formal.
On Wednesday night I found myself at one of the local watering holes with a few friends. I was in a pertty solid mood and we were dancing to a decent selection of music. Good times all around. But then I saw the dangerous girl and the wind just went right out of my sails. That in and of itself wouldn't be a terrible thing, but what's disturbing is that I have no idea why. We just happened to pass each other and we exchanged winning smiles. That was it. But after seeing her I just wanted to go home, so I seized an opportunity to walk a friend of mine back to her place of residence.
It's been bugging me for a day or so now, as evidenced by the fact that just last night I dreamed about the dangerous girl again.
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I hardly ever dream about real people, though. When I was younger I sometimes dreamed about my parents, and from time to time friends will make appearances. Once I had a dream about kat. And now I've had four dreams about one person in close proximity to one another, and it's not like she's on my mind all that much. I can only assume it's my stupid subconscious... *throttles subconscious*
Posts: 10886 | Registered: Feb 2000
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posted
She rejected you. It's only natural that you'd be slightly unnerved seeing her briefly at the bar, after a rejection, and want to bail. I would have felt the same way, though I would have tried to mask it with humor and hide it from my friends.
I used to think unrequited love was very romantic when I was growing up, but it just hurts. If you have a crush on someone and she doesn't reciprocate try to move on before you become too emotionally invested in her. I might ask her out once more to see if maybe she does like you, but bugging her won't win her over. Or you could try to be friends and get to know her , but that hurts also when you both know you are attracted to her but she isn't to you. I wouldn't recommend it unless both of you are honest and emotionally mature.
As far as the dreams go, I notice that you refer to her as "the dangerous girl." I'll bet you think of her as dangerous because you have few defences against her particular charms, she has gotten under your skin and you think about her all the time, and thus dream about her.
Or is she a biker chick? *vroom* Posts: 6316 | Registered: Jun 2003
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Tristan's book of the occult says if you dream of someone after only a brief encounter it is likely that you had a history together in a previous incarnation. It may be worthwhile to get to know her better so you can straighten out any unresolved karma.
Hey, whichever excuse that works, right?
Posts: 896 | Registered: Feb 2001
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I guess I still need real resolution. This is actually the first time a girl has turned me down, because I don't ask girls out very often (I'm normally an "it just sort of happened" guy). At the very least, my confidence has been boosted simply becuase I took the direct approach for the first time ever (I went over to her house, knocked on her door, and asked her out). Posts: 10886 | Registered: Feb 2000
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Maybe this time, ask her to do something informal, like go for a walk and look at the fall leaves, or a bike ride, or to a friend's music recital. Something that would be nice to do with another person, regardless of romantic status.
I can't wait to hear what happens next...
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
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posted
Well, you see, here's the thing. This girl is dangerous. I've been avoiding asking her out for a couple of terms now for precisely that reason. It just so happened that I was bound and determined to ask someone to the semi-formal, and she was the only one I could ask. ...I guess I was sort of hoping that I could just go on with my life, but it seems that won't work.
I graduate in seven months. Now is the time for me to be looking for a real job, and the reason I'm studying what I'm studying where I'm studying it is that I'll have really cool job opportunities when I'm done, so that I won't have to worry too much about getting my own life sorted out. A girl would throw a monkey wrench into that, which is why I've avoided doing more than just dating since my last major breakup.
...but I can't deny the allure of this particular girl. Which is why she's dangerous.
*sigh*
I guess all of you people are right. I need proper resolution, otherwise I'm always going to wonder about what might have been.
Posts: 10886 | Registered: Feb 2000
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posted
You never know. This girl may end up having connections with someone who can get you one of those really cool jobs, and not end up being a romantic thing at all. Or, she could be THE ONE. Or, she is inspiring you to live close to the marrow of life and reminding you not to put all your energy into the future, which may not exist. You could die at any moment, but right now your heart beats and your body tingles and you are Alive.
Stick with whatever life is trying to teach you. You won't regret it.
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
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Yeah, you're right. I have been presented with a golden opportunity to prove that the self-confidence I've been working on developing for the last two years does in fact exist.
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I agree with Jenny. Ask her out for something casual and informal. It's possible she will go out with you but wasn't ready to go to a semi-formal dance with you. If you don't ask her, you'll always wonder what could have been.
Former girlfriends are called Xs. But I call mine Ys---"why god, why?" Posts: 6316 | Registered: Jun 2003
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My friends were bitterly disappointed when they learned that I'd chosen not to get the first year girl's number, but it's not as though I don't see her around campus anyway should I change my mind about asking for that particular piece of information. For me, it was enough to feel attractive, just like it was supposed to be enough that I asked the dangerous girl to the semi-formal. ![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
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*vroom* ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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