posted
Went to the TX Renaissance Festival somewhere between Houston and College Station. It's one of the really big ones with permanent buildings and all kinds of repeat performers & great vendors.
Now, you all know how much I like chain mesh underwear, but I have a question. Doesn't anyone get that it's supposed to be worn UNDER something?
Or, barring that, that one should wear SOMETHING under the chain mesh?
I'm not usually such a prude, but this is supposed to be a family thing. At least Renaissance Faires used to be mostly family fare. I mean sure, maybe there was a bit of ribald humor and the things were always a little sexist in orientation what with the "serving wenches" and uncomfortable bodices for the ladies while guys could always opt for the swash-buckling type of garb.
But now it seems like the jokes go a bit beyond the potty-mouth variety to a little less acceptable and certainly a bit meaner. Also not as funny or clever. At least in this particular show. To whit: (or to half whit):
Every act involving swordplay of any type had several references to erections and Viagra. Even the ones where they later had a group of kids come up on stage. Many of the other acts NOT involving swordplay also brought in the Viagra jokes. Really, they just are SO predictable that they aren't funny. It's the easy laugh, IMHO.
Why, oh why, is homosexuality considered a good source of humor? Is it just because this is supposed to be in the context of the Renaissance so it's okay to make dumb jokes about sexual orientation? And believe me, the jokes were lame and most of the laughter was of the "nervous" variety.
I know it's Texas and we have to have football jokes or people would forget what state they're in, but c'mon...these folks spend a lot of time and effort NOT breaking character only to break the third wall to deliver some obvious banter about yesterday's big game? Who cares? I mean, really, it's Sunday in the afternoon. The people there AREN'T really big football fans or they'd be home...watching football. Duh!
Okay, 'nuf complaining. Actually this was a good faire. I liked the one in Minnesota better, mainly because the stage acts were SO much more clever. By comparison, these all seemed like attempts to get through to the part where they pass the hat as soon as humanly possible with as little effort as possible. The Sturdy Beggars' Mud Show, which is a crowd favorite, consists of basically pitting 1/2 of the audience against the other in a cheering contest culminating in someone eating mud to get the biggest cheer, then they pass the hat and whichever side donates the most "wins!" Uh huh.
Oops, forgot I said I was done complaining.
The best things at this fair are really the vendors, many of whom do the RenFaire circuit around ye olde countrye. It's a great place to get clothing and real weapons. Of course, a crowded place, lots of real weapons carried by drunk men, and women with their boobs hanging out is sort of a recipe for disaster. "Hey buddy what're you staring at?" "Um, your girlfriend's breasts..." "Oh, cool. Okay."
-- actual conversation.
Okay, so the crowd wasn't as boisterous as I made out.
We did have one drunk guy in the restroom fall flat on his back -- didn't crack his skull open by some miracle. Someone kind of held him up so he could finish peeing then sent him on his way. It was strange.
I did use the opportunity to wear my cape, which I purchased at the Louisiana RenFeste sometime last year. I actually got some compliments which was neat considering how many really well-costumed people there were out there.
There was this woman whose gig was to be the "ass-ayer." Basically, she'd stop a group that included one (or more women) and at least one guy. She'd offer to "ass-ay" the man for a small donation. Then, she'd reach around the guy and give a squeeze on his derrier and pronounce what kind of ass it was: "smart, lazy, etc." It was funnier than it sounds. I was not ass-ayed, by the way. But I did notice that some of the guys asked for a little bit extra. They wanted to be SPANKED!!! It was so weird. Seeing these big bubbas in their cowboy hats asking to be spanked and making a big deal of it when she obliged. Hilarious.
Got a great deal on a cool walking stick. Also bought a new clasp for my cape so I can open it more at the neck.
Didn't have the turkey leg. NO THANKS!
I did have a HUGE margerita that lasted most of the day.
I don't remember much after that.
I got to try sphereplay, which is basically rolling a large glass sphere around your hands in what are supposed to be fluid motions. Done well it looks really cool. Done by me, it sort of looked like a good way to break things. Like glass spheres.
posted
Hey Bob...well, this is just terrific...I finally return to Hatrack after like six months, start a new thread, and you start one at almost exactly the same time!!!! How can I compete with this?!!
Well, if I can't beat you, I'll join you. I love these fairs, although this one does sound a bit lame. My favorite local group was always the "Flaming Idiots" who swallowed swords and other things that weren't meant to be swallowed by the human body.
As for the sexist nature of the fairs, I really don't mind...and that probably sounds very strange coming from me, but I know that's the way women of that era dressed and were treated and I can immerse myself in the historical significance without being insulted. (I actually enjoy wearing those tight fitting bodices...they look darn good on me too, I might add. I was definitely born in the wrong era for fashion.)
However, my favorite part of the local fair was to go to the stands where you could try out different kinds of weaponry. I love weaponry. Don't ask. And I found out pretty quickly that I have a special talent with throwing stars and axes. My knives always seemed to bounce off their targets, though, and I have absolutely no skills with bows and arrows of any kind. Oh well.
Posts: 676 | Registered: Sep 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
I did pretty well at the archery booth. My star throwing sucks eggs and I didn't even try the axes or the knives.
I don't mind the tight bodices either.
And, really, done right the costumes are really cool.
Nowadays I see a lot more women wearing leathers and carrying weapons. Xena-influenced perhaps? Or maybe Xena was tapping into a change in attitudes that was already there? But I will say that it has openned up the possibilities for women to wear something else if they want to.
If I were thinner, I'd probably go with the swordsman outfits in leather. As it is, I make a better aging wizard or something. And I get to carry a big stick which is kind of fun for all sorts of things, whereas a sword costs a lot more and mostly has to stay in the scabbard or people start to worry about you.
I should add that this parade was a lot funnier than others I've seen. The parading characters interacted really well with the crowd. And there was one really well-dressed matronly type whose schtick was to walk in the parade with her nose buried in a book of erotic poetry -- mumbling to herself. It was hilarious. You had to be right up next to her to read the title of the book. Very subtle and very funny for those who "caught it."
So, there were some good high points that I neglected to mention in my earlier rant.
And I have to say that there were more people in better costumes here than I've seen at previous faires. And that's really the coolest part of the faires for me -- seeing what great jobs some of the people do who are just "visiting" the faire.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Well, Bob, I will tell you that I've lost about 20 pounds on Icarus's diet and that XENA costume is getting more and more within my reach...of course it costs about $2000 for an authentic one that doesn't look like plastic and cardboard. But if I can lose another 10 pounds and tone up a bit....yeah, right, don't tell my thoughts to Icarus...then again, he's gotten so thin that he would make a darn fine Ares. We'll be set for the next fair.
Posts: 676 | Registered: Sep 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
(hugs Bob) MN's Ren Fest is the awesomest!! We get the Tortuga Twins too! Went on the last day this year and saw their last show... It was WILD. Definitely not the kind of thing you want to let your kids see. But it was hilarious.
Yeah, but MN's Ren fest is the best ever. I love it all to pieces.
Posts: 4816 | Registered: Apr 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Glad to hear you didn’t have a turkey leg at the Faire, Bob. The last time I was at one, I had an intense debate with a yellow jacket over who’s leg it was. And believe me, I got his point. Posts: 2473 | Registered: Jan 2000
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Evil]](graemlins/evil.gif)
![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
But I will say that it has openned up the possibilities for women to wear something else if they want to.![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Cry]](graemlins/cry.gif)
