posted
So we pick up the mail this morning, and I go through it. There's this yellow envelope with no return address...and it's not even addressed to me; it's addressed to my address and apartment number in old-school typewriter. I figure it's some generic coupon or something, but I'm curious, so I open it.
Inside, there's a note. The front is purple and green and says, "Don't take this personally" and the back, again in old-school typewriter, says, "why do you sleep with nerds and ugly dudes."
So I call the private patrol. And the private patrol call the police, figuring they can have it fingerprinted or something. And when the police officer comes, she says she can't do anything because the note isn't threatening me bodily arm. She leaves without even taking a report. The private patrol take their own report, though.
quote:So I call the private patrol. And the private patrol call the police, figuring they can have it fingerprinted or something. And when the police officer comes, she says she can't do anything because the note isn't threatening me bodily arm. She leaves without even taking a report. The private patrol take their own report, though.
While further action by the police was probably not necessary (because of the non-threatening behavior) I would hope that they would still make a note of it, in the event that it does escalate.
quote: ...I want my guard dog here now.
Yeah, it has always been my opinion that those are great for young females who live alone (or with other females).
Posts: 5656 | Registered: Oct 1999
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posted
See, I'd probably write up a big poster that says, "Because stalkers and peeping toms are just too creepy," or something like that, and stick it in the window. But then, I'm not a woman, so I don't know what it's like.
Posts: 3003 | Registered: Oct 2004
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posted
It's just so weird. The policewoman said it was probably a prank, but this has got to be the weirdest prank ever if that's the case. My boyfriend is going to bring his dog over to stay with me. I put the note and envelope in a plastic baggie, just in case. It's postmarked, so somebody did actually mail it.
I just don't understand why someone would do this. I know a small handful of people who might have reason to be pissed or jealous for some reason, but I don't think they're unhinged enough for this kind of thing. The private patrol said they'd keep an eye on the building.
posted
I like Boris' answer. Reminds me of the time a girl called me and said she wouldn't say who she was, but asked me if I was willing to date other girls and if so, would I date her. When I pointed out that since I didn't know who she was, how could I possibly know if I'd want to date her, she hung up on me.
Posts: 1751 | Registered: Jun 1999
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
is your boyfriend a "nerd"? If so then we may have either A) a stalker or B) someone you, he or both of you know is simply making a rather bad prank.
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posted
Boris' solution. Totally. Another answer would be to take some self defense classes and hit the gym a little more with an eye toward building a strong punch You're probably already plenty capable of defending yourself, but if this worries you, it'd might make you feel better to know you've got training. If you've got time for it that is. Guard dogs certainly don't hurt either.
Posts: 3295 | Registered: Jun 2004
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posted
While Mrs. BlackBlade worked the night shift I ALWAYS drove her home from work even though its a 15 minute walk. Now that she works mornings-afternoon I let her walk, but she carries mace and I don't think I'd disagree with her getting a tazer.
Posts: 14316 | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by pH: Also, Boris: If only I had the balls.
-pH
Who needs balls? Anyone who doesn't understand what's going on will think it's a joke/catchy slogan (especially if the poster is big enough to cover the window), and the person it matters should also get the message.
Posts: 3003 | Registered: Oct 2004
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posted
My advice: Do not engage in any way, shape, or form. This includes Boris's clever and oh-so-tempting response.
This person seeks interaction with you. Assuming this is a person with whom you do not wish to interact, you should not reward his anti-social behavior.
(I also heartily recommend "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker for insight into these things.)
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
Dag, I just don't know if I should be thinking that it's someone I actually know or if it's like...random stranger on the street, especially since the letter wasn't addressed to me by name. I mean, I guess I can't even really be sure if it's a man or a woman. Honestly, when I saw just the front of the note, I thought it was going to be some really bad attempt at advertising, like how you hear sometimes about people finding hand-written notes on their cars about weight loss programs or something.
I don't want to be completely freaking out about this, but I don't want to not take it seriously enough and have something bad happen as a result, either.
posted
Listen to your intuition - you've called security and the police based on that intuition already, and that's a good thing. Is it telling you anything else? The expert on how seriously you should be taking this is you.
At this point you know that someone has left an inappropriate note. You know, intellectually, that this could be harmless or it could be the start of a stalking incident. You also know thousands of other things about your situation that none of us know, and that your brain is constantly processing those thousands of things against new information in the background.
"Freaking out" will not be helpful - it will make it harder to listen to your intuition. But, it might tell you to double check your doors before bedtime.
Unless you have additional information, though, the one thing you don't want to do is engage this person. Even if it's someone you know, all you actually know about the sender is that they sent the note. If they're harmlessly playing a prank, then not responding will do no harm. If they are a potential stalker, then interacting might (very likely will) encourage them to go on.
Not interacting does not mean "don't take it seriously." It means limiting your reactions to those likely to achieve the result you want: no more letters, no calls, no visits.
If your concern is how seriously you should take this, then I strongly recommend the book I mentioned.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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I have pushing, pulling, jumping, protection, absorption, healing, sight, mind trick, aaand lightning (yeah, I know, I'm that close to being pure light) and, best of all, I'm available at reasonable rates.
Posts: 15421 | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
*blinks* pH, I think that the real answer to your stalker's question has been answered. You seem to atract an uncanny number of nerds (See swamp and sam).
Posts: 3003 | Registered: Oct 2004
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posted
I agree with Dag, someone's looking for a reaction. Wow, a snailmail troll!
My grandmother once had a series of phone calls from a guy. He started by helpfully telling her to draw the shades in my mother's bedroom (this was when my mother was a teenager, I think), but from there it got worse.
The police asked her to describe the caller - from his voice. She thought that was kooky, but went along with the exercise. Black hair, thin nose, etc. Eventually she noticed a guy at the supermarket that fit her own description, and reported him to the police. Turned out she was right (although I don't remember the details about how they actually caught him). He had information about her because the supermarket delivered.
Posts: 3735 | Registered: Mar 2002
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quote:The police asked her to describe the caller - from his voice. She thought that was kooky, but went along with the exercise. Black hair, thin nose, etc. Eventually she noticed a guy at the supermarket that fit her own description, and reported him to the police. Turned out she was right (although I don't remember the details about how they actually caught him).
That's based on the intuition thing - she knew him, and recognized the voice, but hadn't ever transferred that to conscious knowledge. We have very powerful brains when we don't get in their way.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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The recognizing the person from the voice thing, not that you got a creepy letter, pH.
I had a weirdo sending me letters, but we knew who he was - he lived across the street. He signed his letters. This was years ago, at my old house. There was nothing the police could do, because they weren't threatening. But with my husband gone every third night to the fire dept., I hated sleeping alone with a baby in the house and that creep across the way.
Eventually the FBI knocked on our door and asked for all the letters he had sent - we'd kept them under the advice of the police - because the guy apparently threatened to kill a Federal Judge. He went away for a while, and we moved before he came back.
So, I can somewhat empathize with what you're feeling. I'm sorry there are such creeps in the world. Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
Is is true? Do you sleep with nerds and ugly dudes?
It's either some jealous dude that wants to be with you, or some random stalker creep trying to get a rise out of you. Either way, I'd get that dog.
Posts: 1042 | Registered: Jan 2001
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posted
My boyfriend, while certainly not ugly, is definitely a nerd.
There's been a cop car out on the street all day, and there was another one sitting out in front of the building when I got home. That makes me feel better. Although it's probably the same cop car that's always out there; I think a cop lives across the street.
Dag, from a legal standpoint, is a report from the private patrol going to be helpful if (God forbid) I end up needing some documentation of this?
posted
Add: I just...well, I don't know if this is something I should be worried about, but the idea of it worries me...
The stamp the guy used. It's the same object in the picture as the charm on the necklace Michael gave me for graduation, which is the symbol of something that's kinda meaningful to me.
Either it's just a weird coincidence, or maybe I should be really worried.
posted
That's kind of a stretch, to me. I wouldn't worry about that unless you get a letter alluding specifically to the charm and/or the meaningful event/whatever.
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quote:*blinks* pH, I think that the real answer to your stalker's question has been answered. You seem to atract an uncanny number of nerds (See swamp and sam).
You ask for a jedi, you get a jedi.
Also, the order of the jedi is a real religion in new zealand and it is offensive to write off their teachings as nerdery!~
Posts: 15421 | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Dag, from a legal standpoint, is a report from the private patrol going to be helpful if (God forbid) I end up needing some documentation of this?
Somewhat - one of the things that needs to be proved in most stalking cases is fear of the victim. The fact that you contacted the security force at the beginning will help set the tone for that. It's not really proof of anything, but it shows your state of mind.
Also, if it ever came to trial and he tried the "she's just pressing charges because I wouldn't go out with her routine," you've got good evidence that this isn't the case.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
Would it be legal for me to put a little camera in my window or something? After talking it over, we have a theory on who the note-sender may be, and we think he's lurking around a lot right near/in front of my unit...so we want to check and make sure.
posted
I think Dag would have to give you a firm say-so, but I can't see how placing a camera, in your own apartment, pointed at a public area (or an area on land around your apartment) would be illegal. Particularly if it was a matter of security.
Posts: 3003 | Registered: Oct 2004
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posted
Dagonee can't give you a firm say so, because I think that violates some legal ethics, to give Official Legal Advice in this sort of situation.
But...put the camera up, pH. Train it on your doorway. Worry about it being illegal later, if or when you get the guy on film. I very much doubt it would be illegal, though.
Posts: 17164 | Registered: Jun 2001
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posted
I took a photojournalism class in college, and as far as I remember, the professor (who was a photographer for the newspaper) told us that you are legally allowed to photograph anyone or anything in a public place, as they have no expectation of privacy.
Also, AFAIK, if a lawyer gives you specific legal advice, it can be construed as entering a lawyer-client relationship with you, with all the responsibility and restrictions on both parties that would normally follow with that.
Hence, you won't get specific, personal answers from a lawyer. Ditto for medical professionals not diagnosing your specific problem if you aren't their patient.
I'm no legal expert, but I watch a lot of legal TV shows. Posts: 3950 | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
I can't imagine that the camera option would be considered illegal, barring any apartment building or local government policy on privacy. I've walked past so many houses which have 2 or more CCTV cameras trained on their surroundings and on the street out front.
Posts: 1762 | Registered: Apr 2006
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posted
So, a little bit of an update. I have Pike (who is very large and scary-looking). I took him for a walk with a girl who lives downstairs and has an American bulldog. It turns out that she had something weird happen to her, too...someone would knock on her door and try to kind of lure her out of the place. She also had someone stand in front of her window.
She's going to ask one of the ladies who lives here about our rather creepy neighbor, since I told her that he gave me a weird impression.
posted
That's creepy. I'm sorry. It's really awful not to feel safe in your own home.
I'm not a legal expert, but I think as far as the camera goes you're safe as long as a)you are the renter/leaser/owner of the property being surveyed (check with the landlord if appropriate) and b) there is some manner of posted notice that the area is under surveillance.
Posts: 3826 | Registered: May 2005
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quote:She's going to ask one of the ladies who lives here about our rather creepy neighbor, since I told her that he gave me a weird impression.
I'm all for being careful and protecting yourself, but I would really hate to see an innocent guy get ostrisized from his community and home just 'cause he's 'weird.'
I'd definitely insist on a night security guard at the complex though.
Posts: 2596 | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
She's not going to say, "We think this guy is a stalker." She's just going to ask the lady about him; she knows him better than we do and has lived here longer.
The complex is too small for a night watchman. Our neighborhood has private patrol...
And I can't finish my thought because my dog has decided to eat potpurri..
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![[Frown]](frown.gif)
The policewoman said it was probably a prank, but this has got to be the weirdest prank ever if that's the case. My boyfriend is going to bring his dog over to stay with me. I put the note and envelope in a plastic baggie, just in case. It's postmarked, so somebody did actually mail it.![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
If only I had the balls.![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
You're probably already plenty capable of defending yourself, but if this worries you, it'd might make you feel better to know you've got training. If you've got time for it that is. Guard dogs certainly don't hurt either.
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
