posted
I'm pretty sure I have toenail fungus with more rudimentary intelligence than Jessica, and I don't hate her. I just tend to internally cringe when I hear some of the things she says.
Our internal loss prevention launched an investigation against an associate who was believed to be stealing from the catalog department in our pharmacies. (Eckerd has many stores with JCPenney catalog centers in them. Yay.)
After revealing the insurmountable evidence against her, she became angry and said:
"You smart asses may have caught me, but you'll never catch my mom."
She then slapped her hand over her mouth as she realized what she let slip out.
It turns out her mother and she were involved in an elaborate "refund" scam that was costing JCP thousands in loss.
Remember, alcohol only kills the weak brain cells.
Posts: 1870 | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote: Remember, alcohol only kills the weak brain cells.
And that's why you should legalize drugs. I bet those wizzes over at Dow could come up with a drug that was healthy for you.
That's a pretty good thread idea, actually. If they could make drugs that were good for you while making you high, should those drugs still be outlawed?
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
Which reminds me, I need to try and read that again. I pick it up and get a few pages into it and have never been able to finish it. Can't remember why.
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
As far as legalizing drugs like your Uber-drug stormy, it depends on whether or not it turns your urine blue or not. I would hope that a harmless change in the color of one's urine would be built into the drug to quickly identify users. Just a thought.
Posts: 1870 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Er...if drugs were legal to begin with to allow this uber drug to be designed, wouldn't it be a 'moot' point?
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posted
Here are a few more I found on a googlesearch:
The Internet is a great way to get on the Net. --Bob Dole
A lot of beautiful people are stupid. There's a tremendous amount of idiots who look so good. It's frightening. --Dean Cain
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt --Bertrand Russell
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. --Sam Levenson
In a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, zits, broccoli, racism, ozone depletion, sexism, stupid guys, and PMS, why the hell do people still tell me to have a nice day? --Unknown
It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful --Anton Szandor LaVey
To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered. --Voltaire [Francois-Marie Arouet] (1694 - 1778)
The American people are very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the possible exception of stupidity. --Will Rogers (1879-1935)
If I were asked to enumerate ten educational stupidities, the giving of grades would head the list... If I can't give a child a better reason for studying than a grade on a report card, I ought to lock my desk and go home and stay there. --Dorothy De Zouche
Where's my jacket? I've looked everywhere! Under the bed, over my chair, on the stairs, on the hall floor, in the kitchen. It's just not anywhere....Oh HERE it is! Who put it in the stupid closet!? --Calvin (from Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes)
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls. --Dan Quayle
With fame I become more and more stupid, which of course is a very common phenomenon. --Albert Einstein
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. --Albert Einstein
If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? --Will Rogers (1879-1935)
When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him --Michael, 14 Advice from Kids
In the spring I asked the daisies If his words were true, And the clever, clear-eyed daisies Always knew. Now the fields are brown and barren, Bitter autumn blows, And of all the stupid asters Not one knows. --Sara Teasdale
Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don't compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest. --Sam Levenson (1911 - 1980) Humorist
Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change. --Confucius
China is a big country with a lot of chinese people living there. --Charles De Gaulle Former French President
Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. --Joe Theismann
Being stupid is its own reward
Being stupid is its own punishment
Stupidity is its own reward
Stupidity is its own punishment
I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people. --Dan Quayle
You know that old saying, 'Strike while the iron is hot?' Well, I think that's a pretty dumb saying, 'cause I'll betcha a cold iron will hurt like hell, too. --Charlie Acord
Posts: 1870 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
I have a whole bunch of legal drugs in my drugstore. I even claim that some of them are healthy. But I am hard-pressed to think of one that makes a person "high" and is legal in the sense you mean. Thus, the silly urine reference was the only thing that came to mind to keep me from doing a nervous tick like chewing my lip or biting my nails.
I did, however, scratch my bum.
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