posted
All right, since people are talking about a lot of RPing lately, I figured this would be a good time to bring this up. Share your role-playing stories!
This one is a classic:
quote: Let us cast our minds back to the early days of fantasy role-playing... In the early '70s, Ed Whitechurch ran "his game," and one of the participants was Eric Sorenson, a veritable giant of a man. This story is essentially true: I knew both Ed and Eric, and neither denies it (although Eric, for reasons that will become apparent, never repeats it).
The gist of it is that Eric... well, you need a bit more about Eric.
Eric comes quite close to being a computer. When he games, he methodically considers each possibility before choosing his preferred option. If given time, he will invariably pick the optimum solution. It has been known to take weeks. He is otherwise in all respects a superior gamer, and I've spent many happy hours competing with and against him, as long as he is given enough time.
So... Eric was playing a neutral paladin (Why should only lawful, good religions get to have holy warriors? was the rationale) in Ed's game. He even had a holy sword, which fought well and did all those things holy swords are supposed to do, including good or evil (by random die roll). He was on some lord's lands when the following exchange occurred:
ED: You see a well-groomed garden. In the middle, on a small hill, you see a gazebo.
ERIC: A gazebo? What color is it?
ED: (Pause) It's white, Eric.
ERIC: How far away is it?
ED: About 50 yards.
ERIC: How big is it?
ED: (Pause) It's about 30 feet across, 15 feet high, with a pointed top.
ERIC: I use my sword to detect whether it's good.
ED: It's not good, Eric. It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Pause) I call out to it.
ED: It won't answer. It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Pause) I sheathe my sword and draw my bow and arrows. Does it respond in any way?
ED: No, Eric. It's a gazebo!
ERIC: I shoot it with my bow (rolls to hit). What happened?
ED: There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.
ERIC: (Pause) Wasn't it wounded?
ED: Of course not, Eric! It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Whimper) But that was a plus-three arrow!
ED: It's a gazebo, Eric, a gazebo! If you really want to try to destroy it, you could try to chop it wih an axe, I suppose, or you could try to burn it, but I don't know why anybody would even try. It's a @#%$*& gazebo!
ERIC: (Long pause - he has no axe or fire spells) I run away.
ED: (Thoroughly frustrated) It's too late. You've awakened the gazebo, and it catches you and eats you.
ERIC: (Reaching for his dice) Maybe I'll roll up a fire-using mage so I can avenge my paladin...
At this point, the increasingly amused fellow party members restored a modicum of order by explaining what a gazebo is. This is solely an afterthought, of course, but Eric is doubly lucky that the gazebo was not situated on a grassy knoll.
posted
There is a silly cartoon on the net that parodies DnD ultranerds... Let me go looking for it.
[20 minutes later] Found it! They use character models from a computer game put to the sketch routine audio of an Improv group caled The Dead Alewives:
posted
My friend was once playing a game as an immensly fat cleric. He had a very high bluff check, and he cast light on himself. He managed to convince people he was an archmage, and made them do all sorts of things.
Posts: 1466 | Registered: Jan 2003
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I was duking it out as a cleric vs. my friend as a rogue, using 3.0 rules. Basically that meant that my move speed was 15 feet, because I was a dwarf in full plate. Anyway, I had the travel domain, so I cast fly on myself. Unfortunately, he had a bow and very high dex (he was using a rapier with weapon finesse) so flying did not help much. Anyway, I flew up to him. He dropped his bow and pulled out his rapier (he dropped the bow because putting it away is move equivalent and he wanted to be able to attack me). Anyway, I then picked up the bow and flew into the air. He had no way to touch me... And summon monster III is fun when they have no way to stop you. Posts: 1466 | Registered: Jan 2003
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I had a close call recently. I was fighting an army of goblins and necromancers, and I was running out of spells and getting kind of desparate. So then a necromancer with vampiric touch comes running at me, and I have to decide quickly what to do: a)web him or b) wraithform. I was about to turn into a wraith when I realised that if I did...well,the necromancers controll dead guys...not a good plan. Posts: 4174 | Registered: Sep 2003
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I was just fighting some zombies with a level two bard, and our wizard had cast burning hands, so they were kinda...smoldering. I had only cantrips left, so I used prestidigitation to change one pound of the zombie's flesh (which does qualify as unliving) into alcohol, so it would catch on fire very thoroughly. My DM thought I was nuts when I asked if I was allowed to change things into alcohol in the middle of the fight until I explained
Posts: 3493 | Registered: Jul 2001
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that was hilarious.![[No No]](graemlins/nono.gif)
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My DM thought I was nuts when I asked if I was allowed to change things into alcohol in the middle of the fight until I explained
