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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Women: is affection valuable to you?

   
Author Topic: Women: is affection valuable to you?
Richard Berg
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About a year ago the availability of "girlfriends-for-hire" on eBay hit the virtual newsreel. They shut down the practice within 6 months, but the movement has now gone legit at http://imaginarygirlfriends.com/

The gist: for $45 (the old auctions went for cheaper [Frown] ), women will conduct a faux relationship by sending love letters, phone messages, a picture for your desk, etc. eventually concluded by a heartfelt breakup ~2 months later. Playing on the loneliness of geek guys and the manipulativeness of enterprising women? Supply, meet demand.

Yet I wonder -- would the reverse arrangement be profitable? It's easier for women to get involved in romance in general, but it's often more superficial than they'd like; our solution attacks a slightly different kind of loneliness than that of a male customer. Moreover, women crave random signs of affection more than men. The fee might have to be higher to accomodate flowers and teddy bears, but with the rising success of women -- overly busy women? -- in the workplace, demand might be more inelastic than you'd think.

If I can't be the founder, I at least want to be a shareholder.

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Eaquae Legit
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I can't speak for anyone else, but knowing I'd bought someone's "affection" would totally overshadow even the softest teddy bear.
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Anna
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Being single is just sad, but if someone discovers you were just pretending to see someone...
I would die from shame, personally.

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Theca
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Ahem.
Being single is NOT always sad.

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Daedalus
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Well, yes, yes it is.

Though not as sad as this. Jesus, that's got to be a depressing job.

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Daedalus
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Out of interest, isn't it a bit self-defeating? If you're so horribly out of it that you can't get a girlfriend in your own world, exactly why would a hottie from across the country be madly in love with you and send you letters begging you to take her back? I can't imagine that anyone would be fooled by this -- it's bound to bring about only ridicule.

Though, then again, Frisco's managed to fool a lot of people into thinking even he can get women by taking pictures of them. Maybe you can fool people with the correct placement of pictures...

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Anna
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quote:
Being single is NOT always sad.
True for some people, always false for me. I enjoyed some things about being single, but most of the time I founded it sucked. Different for everyone, I guess.
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Farmgirl
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#1) I don't really think the thread title corresponds to the thread topic very well.

..but having said that

I think if it were done in reverse, there would be different "reasoning" attached. In other words, guys get a virtual girlfriend in order to secure their masculinity around "the guys."

I think if women had a virtual guy-friend, it would be for a different reason. I mean, for most women, if they are single for a long time, their peers do not accuse them of being gay (like guys do to their peers).

I have had a desk photo of a guy on my desk at work, etc., that wasn't REALLY my boyfriend, before. But the sheer purpose of it was to ward off a certain guy here at work who was coming on to me too strong. By indicating I already had "someone special" (which I didn't) and talking about my "guy" a lot, I was able to make this co-worker guy back off.

Farmgirl

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katharina
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You couldn't just tell him to back off?
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skrika03
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I don't understand where the demand is coming from. Is it really for show or is this really about affection?
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Farmgirl
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kat -- yes, I could, and did. Several times. Wouldn't work for long.

So this worked better.

Guys seem too think "hmm.. she's divorced, not seeing anyone, surely she needs a little......" etc. etc.

So in order to maintain the friendship part of the working relationship, but also just not hassle with the other stuff, it was easier to pretend I was already smitten with someone else.

Farmgirl

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Danzig
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I was under the impression that this service was mainly used to make your ex jealous, or to promote other false stories. I only saw one or two of these on eBay, but they were explicit when they said it was not a real relationship and that they were not actually dating. If someone was so starved for affection that they decided to use something like this, they should go all out instead of halfway.
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mr_porteiro_head
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I could imagine this being used by some well-meaning friend to try to brighten up the life of a lonely friend. It sounds like the sort of idiotic thing that people do on sitcoms. [Embarrassed]
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Storm Saxon
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quote:

I don't understand where the demand is coming from. Is it really for show or is this really about affection?

I would be willing to bet a lot of money that there's a wee bit o' porn in there somewhere.
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Chris Bridges
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There's also this to consider: guys in relationships seem to be more attractive than guys on their own.

Certainly not to everyone, but it's happened to me and people around me enough times. Suddenly you have new value because someone else (apparently) considers you worthwhile. Maybe pictures of your fictional fiance are just bait?

Here's a column about the eBay versions...

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skrika03
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I guess it's sadly true that a lot of women are more attracted to guys who are already dating someone. I don't know what's up with that, either. I think there is a degree that the added confidence a person in a relationship has may subconciously attract people. But I think some of it is just plain creepy competitiveness.
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mr_porteiro_head
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I think there's more to it than competitiveness. Partway through her LDS mission, I decided that I was going "wait" for her. I still dated socially, but not seriously. Once I was no longer looking for a relationship, I was *way* more attractive to women. I think that it might be because I was no longer trying to impress anybody.
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ak
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Ew, ubercreepy! You can buy a lot of things, but you can't buy true love. <laughs> Richard, I certainly hope you were joking about this as a business possibility.

The thing that would be the worst of all about participating in any such commercial transactions is how could it help but put a taint on any real affection you might ever feel or want to express?

Like, if you had a real girlfriend would you give her a discount or what? The standard package or the special? Wouldn't you be mining all your best romantic ideas for new product offerings? So that your real lovelife would just be rehashed from your latest commercial line?

<shudders>

Does anyone want a bf who is everyone's bf for a price?

<laughs> I'm going to assume you were joking.

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democrat
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quote:
I guess it's sadly true that a lot of women are more attracted to guys who are already dating someone. I don't know what's up with that, either.
It's because we all want what we can't have. When someone is already dating someone, that just makes getting them more exciting then if they weren't.
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