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It's Friday night before graduation, so my best friend and I decide to take our two friends who are graduating out to a fancy dinner. We're just having fun, casual conversation and Abby is being funny like usual.
Abby mentions how everyone sure does like Kristin's wedding announcements. Everyone that gets one mentions how clever it is.
"Well, you don't really - " interjects Kristin
"No.. they're great! The girls I work with ask me about your wedding all the time. We talk about a lot. We should probably stop," Abby laughs.
"Yes, you should, because - " Kristin manages, and then the conversation turns to something random and she doesn't finish.
It's at this point that I realize that Kristin isn't wearing her engagement ring. I have a sudden realization coupled with a sudden lack of what to say. No one else at the table notices.
What do you say at this point? Anything? Do you help her say what she wanted to or wait for it come up again? When it does come up again 5 minutes later and she informs you - her closest friends - that she's cancelling her wedding, what possible words of encouragement can you offer? Or do you just kindly change the subject?
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Annie, She obviously wanted you all to know. She might not be ready to talk about it, but let her know that you are ready to listen when she is ready to talk. Liz
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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I did tell her that I was glad she was brave enough to make the right decision for her and that I was free all week if she wanted to come over at any time. But that's about all I could come up with.
Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
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I think you say whatever you feel compelled to say. If she's a dear friend, your intuition would guide you. If she's not, then cheerful silence or changing the subject ("we need a plate of wings and a pitcher over here!") would be the way to go, indefinitely.
quote: I did tell her that I was glad she was brave enough to make the right decision for her and that I was free all week if she wanted to come over at any time. But that's about all I could come up with.
(((((Annie)))))
I think you said exactly the right thing. More importantly, you didn't say any of the wrong things -- "Are you sure?" "Oh, everyone gets cold feet!" "You'll change your mind back." "But he's such a nice guy!" "What about the non-refundable deposits?"
But yeah, it's an awkward situation. Maybe call her in a day or two, and see if she wants to do something? Go out for a bite, or see a movie? Something where if she wants to talk, you're available; but if she just wants to NOT focus on it, you can just have some fun together. The worst thing about people not knowing what to say to her in that kind of situation is likely to be that many people just say NOTHING -- and stop calling, because they're uncomfortable. Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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