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Not being a member of the Catholic church may hamper my ability to connect to the Almighty. Is there a wafer me to commune with God?
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I seem to remember a biblical reference to the meek inheriting the earth. Let's assume that you believe this but aren't by nature a meek person. If you wish to inherit the earth and consequently subdue your assertive nature would that be called self-fragilation?
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Sometimes during the church service, the minister looks spaced out. We figure she's prayed too hard and reached an altared state of consciousness.
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Cautioning people about their religious habits can be counter productive. Sorta like piscina wind.
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That's it! It's the absolute last time we will hire a folk singer to write a church play!
We became the subject of ridicule in our community for putting on a show titled "Waiting for God-oh."
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All of the dogs in the neighborhood are having a big backyard barbeque, but tell all felines to stay away from this cat-lick festival.
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A local theology professor took a sabbathical to study how members of different faiths honored the day of worship in their respective beliefs.
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I, uh, spire to make good puns like you do.
But then, I guess I'm just preaching to the choir.
Saints when did sndrake get so funny?
I'm having a Baal in this thread.
I hope our hosts don't get pissed about it, but I already scent urea around here.
You know, many Christian rituals are borrowed from the pagan religions that the early church leaders were trying to displace. It was not just a way to boost membership, but also a way to earn some much needed cash to help out the early missionaries. Often, in planning meetings you'd hear one of the apostles ask "ceremony lender around here?"
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They must have played tennis 'cuz "Joseph served in Pharoh's court" and there must have been baseball too; we read about things that happened "In the big inning".
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quote:Of course that last one is kind of a Thor point with modern Christian apologists.
That's because they know it's a Baldur-faced lie! It's Loki for you I won't tell or you'd have good cause to be very aFreyad. You'd catch Hel from them and it would all end in Tyrs.
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You know, lately, I've been thinking alot about faith and religion. I suppose if someone could guarantee that there was an after life that I might make some changes. Before I make those changes I need someone tonsure that I'm not wasting my time and energy. I'm sure that those of you with faith will assure me that my time and energy will be terrific in vestments for my future spiritual health. I suppose tho after having made those changes they eventually will become habit.
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My church has a place inside where you go to remember the departed. It's called a memory apse.
I was at my doctor's office yesterday. They were both sitting around arguing over which specialty paid the most money but had the lowest malpractice insurance rates. Finally an exasperated nurse chimed in and told them "it's ortho, docs."
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I've got a good friend that was raised Catholic. In fact most of his extended family is Catholic as well. He used to get a lot of mileage out of jesting about his mothers sister who left the fold. She found fault with a lot of the Catholic dogma and wasn't shy about broadcasting her opinions. He always referred to her as his Protest Aunt.
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I've been revealing alot about my lack of membership to any organized religious affiliation. There are times that I consider joining/partaking in some form of ritualized worship. My problem is I never am fully convinced this is the right path for me. I'm halfway there. Could this be referred to as a demi urge?
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I asked my friend if he'd had lunch yet. He answered, "No, Jew?" I said "No, but mana I'd like some pasta!"
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The church carnival has a new booth they hope will cash in on the karaoke craze. They invite people to come up and recite Gregorian chants, (for a fee, of course), and judges award prizes to the best performers. It's easy to find the booth just look for the large sign:
GAMES OF CHANTS! STEP UP AND PRAY!
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A review of the relations between Jewish folk and Christian folk shows a history of persecution of the Jews. Christians were less than gentile towards Jews and those that didn't tow the line were encouraged to "Get with the progrom"
Disclaimer: No offense intended towards either those of christian or jewish faith.
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rivka, yarmulking a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be. Shofar, all punwit has done is make a few humorous bows to tradition.
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Just keep it up, Bob, and I'll unleash puns that you'll need a crash course in Yiddish and Hebrew to understand. Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Suddenly, a great light shown around them, and an angel of the lord stood by them. The shepherd fell down on their knees with their face to the ground because they were afraid.
The angel spoke to them: "Halo! Let's have nun of that grovelling. Stand up."
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Many people make fancy desserts for Shabbos -- cakes especially. When the weekly portion is Noach, mabul cake is popular; when Yaakov and his wives are featured, laya cake is preferred.
When the Temple stood, mimeography was unknown, but they did have korban paper. When it was necessary to resolve a dispute, they flipped a cohen.
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Our church is trying something new to encourage ascendance. The church bulletin has coupons that can be saved and traded for neat prizes. But you need a lot of coupons for one item.
So the idea is you have to savior coupons for redemption later.
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It's a little known fact that about halfway through the voyage, Noah's sons noticed that some of the predators he'd brought on board were looking a little dangerous. They worried that something better be done to separate the prey from the predators and a quick inventory taken so they could tell if some of the more edible creatures started disappearing. But none of them wanted to show such little faith in God's ability to control the situation. Finally, with worried looks upon their faces, they approached their mother. She pointed to the back of the ark where the patriarch himself was tossing animals too and fro, all the time saying "yummy, one, two" over and over again. "Look," mama said, "there's Noah counting for taste."
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After Moses set up judges over the people, most minor matters were solved out in the open. This is, in fact, where the phrase "to air ones grievances" comes from. But still some things were too private and the complaints had to be brought before the man himself. Thus it was that Moses got the most in tents criticism.
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