There you are, driving down Ridgewood, when suddenly some kid in a jeep pulls out without looking and causes you to slam on your brakes. Your car displays its displeasure by crouching and glaring with red, red eyes...
No, it's not Disney's new movie "Herbie Goes Feral." It's the dream of four Japanese inventors -- Kenji Mori, Naoto Kitagawa, Akihiro Inukai and Simon Humphries of Toyota Jidosha Kabushiki Kaisha of Japan -- who recently received a patent for their concept of a car that uses lighted eyebrows, eyelids, headlights, adjustable body heights, and an extending antenna to express happiness, anger, surprise, and more. While the driver would be able to manually enter his or her desired expression, a computer would register road and steering conditions, speed, and other factors to constantly change the car's own visible mood to create, as they put it, a "joyful, organic atmosphere."
Different combinations of lights and body language would signal different emotions. Your car could get angry by turning its hood red and lowering its eyebrows, or convey happiness by raising its brows, wagging its antenna and flashing one headlight to wink at other cars. It might even cry (with dark hood lighting and a blinking "tear" light) to indicate mechanical distress, which is more personal and every bit as uninformative as the traditional and bewildering 'Check Engine' light.
No word on whether you could manage an amused-yet-world-weary grin.
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The more I think about it, the more I can see some benefits. Maybe people would be careful not to crash into something with a face.
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Unfortunately, more jerks would bash into you (or vandalize your car) just to make your car cry.
I'm also convinced that some of the cars I've owned were trying to kill me. If one of them had ever smirked at me while I was trying to figure out why the part I took out won't go back in, I'd have gone after it with a jack handle...
[ August 04, 2004, 11:27 AM: Message edited by: Chris Bridges ]
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Yes, we know, Little Doctor. If you read that thread, you will see that Chris SAID he was going to write a column about it:
quote: After I saw this article last week I made plans to write about it for next week's column. I'll be writing about current signaling methods - the single flash of the headlights that can mean "slow down, cops ahead" or "get out of my way" or "I thought this was the turn signal" - and problems with the suggested emoting system. If you read the article you see that the car will respond to conditions by itself. What if it develops emotional problems? If you wreck a few times, will your car exhibit an irrational fear of other cars? Will it have different personalities if different members of the family are driving?
And that is what is the link in the first post of THIS thread -- Chris' column.
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See, Chris, I worry about that too. Like the freaks that AIM for cars with a "Baby on Board" tag.
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