At long last, after years of anticipation, petitions, hostage demands, and outright begging, millions of fans can finally buy the most influential science fiction epic ever made on DVD: "Mork & Mindy."
Also, the first Star Wars trilogy.
Of course it won't be the Star Wars movies you remember, exactly. Creator George Lucas has made more tweaks on top of the controversial changes he made to the beloved original movies to create the "Special Edition" versions in 1997. His defense, then and now, has been that each change brings the movies closer to his original artistic concept, neener neener neener.
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I especially love the new Greedo and Han scenes fleshing out the story, as well as the lame action figures.
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quote: The last one you said, that isn't really true?
Oh, but it is true. That's the beauty of it. George has become such a whack-job that truth is stranger than fiction now. In fact, there's one or two other things on the list that I think might be true.
Great job, Chris. I want a "Craft Services Phil" action figure for christmas!
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posted
It's true. In the final scenes of "Jedi" Anakin Skywalker's glowing Jedi ghost is now played by Hayden Christensen instead of Sebastian Shaw. Here's some screen shots of some of the changes.
Presumably when you die, you get the glowing ghost body of the best time of your life or something, which doesn't say much for Ewan McGregor.
[ September 22, 2004, 10:14 AM: Message edited by: Chris Bridges ]
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A- effort. You would have gotten an A+ if you would have done an Mork "Calling Orson" comment, and somehow related it to this forum.
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posted
I have got to get that DVD now. For six years I've been telling my husband about the episode where Mork thinks he's three and Mindy goes on a date and Mork's standing at the door crying and waving and saying "Bye bye, Mommy. Bye bye, Mommy," over and over again. It makes me cry just typing it. It forever changed my sympathies towards children, and kinda made me hate Mindy.
For, like, a day.
But how could she leave little Mork??! He thought he was three! He is scared to be all alone! I can't keep typing; it's too hard to see...
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posted
I had to trim for space as it was. This column threatened to run into the thousands of words, and I usually shoot for 600 or so.
There'll be an OSC mention in a column I'm planning for next month about National Novel Writing Month. It concerns my own novelist aspirations, and how I don't actually finish any novels but I do own dozens of how-to books on the subject, which is the next best thing. And I do own OSC's books on writing...
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posted
Some of the changes that didn't make it into the column:
Dialogue changed to reflect Vader's awareness of his own children, i.e. when he interrogates Princess Leia at the beginning of the first movie: "And now, your highness, we will discuss the location of your hidden rebel base..." has been changed to "Hi, hun."
Movies now mathematically guaranteed to be 27% more exciting.
The big explosion of the Death Star, at the end of the first movie? When it was all, you know, cool and huge and everything? And then in the "Special Edition" version they made it even cooler with that big wave kinda thing coming out and the "boom-whooooosh!" noise? So, like, now it's even COOLER with more whooshing and special effects and stuff, totally mind-blowingly cool. Still no word on the whole "no sound in space" thing.
Chewbacca's 80's "big-hair" look changed, now he has a nice short cut with razored sides and a tightly-trimmed goatee.
Recuperation unit that Luke was floating in after his Wampa attack at the beginning of the second movie now filled with zesty banana pudding. No reason.
In totally unrelated news, Hasbro now debuting new E-Z Bake Resuscitation Chamber, with Healing Gel in Four Fun Flavors!
Opening screen crawl of the first movie now really, really long.
Dialogue dropped in at the beginning of Star Wars: A New Hope that mentions the computer virus released by the Empire which has reduced all the Rebel's computer graphics to the 1970's "Tank Command" level.
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quote: Dialogue dropped in at the beginning of Star Wars: A New Hope that mentions the computer virus released by the Empire which has reduced all the Rebel's computer graphics to the 1970's "Tank Command" level.
That should soooo, have been in the article!
Let me try one...
Darth Vaders mental choking has been changed to the much more humorous Kids in the Hall routine--"I'm crushing your head."
Entertainment at the Jabba The Hutt Complex in RotJ now consists of a bloody and disturbing gruesome death match between Howard the Duck and Jar Jar Binks. This doesn't improve the story, but was suggested by Lucas's psychiatrist. Something to do about "Issues" and "Internalized Anger."
Um, nevermind.
I'll leave it up to the professional.
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posted
You had me giggling and snorting all the way through!!! One of your best! I'm going to have "Smack my Sith up" running through my head all day now....
I definitely am going to ask Santa for an Assistant to Mr. Lucas action figure (w/Kung Fu Grip)!
posted
Strictly speaking, it was an ET reference. I was reminded of the South Park connection by a friend who saw the first draft.
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