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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Pun Smackdown XXIV: Elizabeth's A Ward (Page 0)

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Author Topic: Pun Smackdown XXIV: Elizabeth's A Ward
Elizabeth
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Come on guys and gals, this thread needs some new blood.
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Dagonee
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My mother brought home a strange cantelope one day. This melon o' Ma was unusually dark.
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Dagonee
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The doctor was in the checkout line when someone asked him about a condition she had. This is very dangerous for a doctor - if he makes a mistake, he can be sued for mall practice.
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Elizabeth
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Well, good thing he wasn't in JC Penny's. Kwea might have handed that doctor a law suit.
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Dagonee
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Doctors are good at figuring out what stitch will suit yer.
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Dagonee
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There's a new drug being tested - hopefully it will replace x-rays. When administered, it turns skin and muscle transparent, allowing direct examination of the organs. Doctors hope this new clear medicine will reduce exposure to radiation in patients.
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Elizabeth
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My favorite band is so great. I mean those Cats Can make an Ultra Sound, you know?
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Dagonee
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But they're a bad influence on the kids - they can lead 'em awry.
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Elizabeth
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True, and the kids can morph ine to little brats.
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Dagonee
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As opposed to those teenage fighting heroes who can put their enemies to sleep: The Mighty Morphine Power Ranges.
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Elizabeth
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Yeah, and the bad guy always has to Ty 'em all up.
(stretch, sorry)

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Dagonee
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If that's ever used in a commercial, that ad vill stink.
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Elizabeth
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It would be like a baby aspirin' to be president.
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Dagonee
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Oh, I can't Bayer it!
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Elizabeth
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Well then, Ah'll leave you alone.
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Dagonee
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As long as you don't make me get close to old fashioned pens. Every time I get nigh quill I get sleepy.
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punwit
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I know what you mean Dag, I've been feeling sleepy and achy. I've been a bit under the weather. During the day I've found I have to say "Ah sit, amen" often.
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Dagonee
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It's probably because you've been moving the tile 'n all that other stuff.
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punwit
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Kudo's for the tile reference, [Hail]

This awful cough is making it difficult to even enter my password for the different sites I visit. I'll be right in the middle of entering my codein when I start hacking and gagging.

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Elizabeth
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Well, I guess your boss is lowering their expectorantations of you, Punwit.
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Dagonee
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He's been drinking too much coughee.
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punwit
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Actually I've been so wimpy that I've been staying away phlegm work.
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Elizabeth
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That blows, Punwit. Heaven nose when you will feel better.
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punwit
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You'd think that not working for almost 2 weeks would make a body stir crazy. I didn't do much but read and rest but the time still flu by.
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Dagonee
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Lizzy, you got some spleening to do!
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Elizabeth
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Aw, Dag, I would rather write you an explanation. We can let a pen decide us.
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Dagonee
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This reminds - if you know anyone writing explanations using a laptop, she should switch her leg position every now and then to give her knee a break.
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Elizabeth
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Eeek. If she is cold, maybe she should put some mor col on the stove.
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Dagonee
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The couple that moved from Alaska was never cold - that duo de Nome thought Boston winters a joke.
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kaioshin00
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eh ... I haven't been atendon to this thread - but the puns on here are sick!
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Elizabeth
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Well, we have been nursing this thread for a while, and it does need some doctoring up.
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Dagonee
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Dear sir, gin seems to be what's needed here.
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Elizabeth
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Well, I have to take Pepcid becaue my sti=omach is rum balling so much. It must be a holiday thing.
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punwit
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Hey, Bob, how come you've been silent lately? Whatsamatter catgut your tongue?

[ December 20, 2004, 07:42 PM: Message edited by: punwit ]

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Dagonee
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I'm sure that's knot what happened.
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Elizabeth
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I miss Bob. He keeps us all in stitches.
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Dagonee
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But he can be awfully crutchety.
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punwit
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Bob's a prince. I hope it's many many many years before one of us wheel chair the Smackdown threads.

[ December 20, 2004, 08:27 PM: Message edited by: punwit ]

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Elizabeth
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If a woman tried to do it, I would have to whalk 'er. Some things we just cane not do.
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Bob_Scopatz
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Thought I'd come in and scope out what you're all up to. You know, take the temperature of this thread. I half expected it to be x-rayted by now. But instead I find you're all still practicing. You floor me.

[Big Grin]

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Elizabeth
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It is about time you showed up, Bob! I was going to send out an APB to find you. I had called the FBI, but they said they did not do those for citizens. They were too worried that someone might sue da Fed.
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kaioshin00
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I can certainly not think of a fitting pun.
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Elizabeth
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Well, my friend Johnnie has that trouble, too, kaioshin. His puns tend to bottom out.
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Bob_Scopatz
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I know I doctor who started a singing group with the 4 conjoined twins he separated.

They call themselves Dr. Clampett and the Four Seps.

[Razz]

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BannaOj
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Since she has recieved them, I will leave the rest of you to guess what sort of "non-morbid" flower arrangement Liz got. I figured it was a fitting play on words...
[Wink]
AJ

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Dagonee
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This thread is on life support. How could you pull the plug on it like that?
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BannaOj
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I was trying to make it bloom. But maybe I have foot-in-mouth.

AJ

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Elizabeth
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Man.that is the fifths disease I have heard about today!
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Bob_Scopatz
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I don't think the rest of us should stand for this treatment!
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Dagonee
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Next thing you know a Dem or all of those other leftists will be saying that socialized medicine will help us sleep better.
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