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So is it all over? Great Posts: 1021 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Boon
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Daniel was given my maiden name at birth. When he learned his full name, we taught him to use my husband's last name also, so that in school we'd all have the last name.
We'll file the step-parent adoption in February so that my husband will be his one and only legal father. At that point, the only thing that will really change is that Dan's legal name will change from Daniel Homer Williams to Daniel Homer Williams Burton, which is what he's been using anyway.
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On a side note, he refused to even look at us the whole time. We had to wait outside the judge's chambers for a while, and the whole time he stared at the floor.
When we left, he was standing outside talking to his attorney. We walked past him, and he deliberately kept his back turned to us, even shifting around as we walked past.
We were almost to the truck when I stopped. I asked my husband to come with me. I walked right up behind him. His attorney jerked his head at me, alerting the ex that someone was behind him. He turned around.
I held out my hand and said, "Thank you for doing what's best for Daniel."
He shook my hand and said, "It wasn't an easy decision."
(I don't believe that for a second, but whatever.)
"I'm sure it wasn't. Good luck to you. Goodbye."
And we walked away.
I feel like the proverbial sword over my head is gone. Never again do I have to worry about him.
Mainly, I wanted him to understand that I was no longer afraid of him.
So, since I had an ulterior motive, I'm not entirely sure it was "classy".
I'd actually forgotten what his eyes looked like. I remembered the long pretty lashes that my son got from him, so I assumed that Dan got his eyes. Not so. He has my eyes with the ex's lashes. Lucky kid!
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Don't sell yourself short, Boon! Ulterior motive or not, it was well done. You said what you needed and didn't get confrontational or bring up the past (like I would have done!) You are a great role model.
Posts: 239 | Registered: May 2004
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