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As many of you know, I had a close bout with the pearly gates recently, in the form of ADEM, a rare type of encephalitis. I feel much better, but felt for sure I would be back at work by January. Most of my coworkers thought was nuts, but it was that teacher-guilt thing that was pushing me, combined with a strong dose of denial. Part of my difficulty was letting myself say that i was unable to return to work. The day is long in the halls of fifth grade, with much on-the-feet action and mental gymnastics. I am not very strong at either of those things right now, but kept thinking that another week would do it, as if I had the flu. Anyway, after a tearful session with my physical therapist, who basically told me I should take the rest of the year off, i made the decision to do so. My doctor has been very clear that he does not know much of my condition, and I missed an appointment with the neurologist due to a flat tire. That was in january, and the next appointment was in March. So, I was basically having to diagnose myself as not ready to return, and that was putting a lot of strain on my brain. Well, after I made the decision, cried to my husband about it, and generally felt scared, the phone rang. It was a reminder that my appointment was today at 8 AM. I said no, it was in March. Anyway, I went in and the man was wonderful. He explained all of the reasons for the problems I have been having, and said I needed to take the rest of the year off. He said a lot of people with neurological issues feel the way I do, because I look fine, and even feel fine, so why should I not be working? Wel,that is all. I feel so relieved, and my principal and coworkers are as well, as they were worried I was not ready.
[ February 05, 2005, 12:03 AM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
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(((Elizabeth))) It's difficult to take it easy on yourself. Here's hoping for a full recovery for you.
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Liz, relax and do your best to rest and heal. When my father had Guillain-Barre (I probably butchered the spelling) it took him a long time to be able to work, and in some ways he still hasn't recovered.
Sounds like you're doing the right thing.
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Take care of yourself and remember that your number 1 job right now is healing. All my powers of positive thought are focused your way. (((Liz)))
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(((Liz)))) Making that decision must have been so hard, but I do feel it's the right one. You need to take care of your health. Posts: 1021 | Registered: Sep 2004
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(((Liz))) I hope everything works out all right for you. You were very strong to make that decision.
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Belle, GB(I won't even try to spell) is very similar to ADEM, and a doctor in rehab even told me I had it. That was news to me. I hadn;t really been able to understand what i had at that point, anyway. Later, another doc came up and said, "Oh, by the way, you do not have GB."
I have gone through many stages of walking. There was "puppet-on-a-string," then "Herman Munster," and now "just-sort-of-uncoordinated."
About a month ago, my pain in the neck husband told me to do a jumping jack. My arms curved in perfect formation, and my feet did not move a centimeter. It was so bizarre. Now, I can jump, but the jumping is still in the Herman Munster stage.
I had planned to go back to work after Feb, vacation. I realized I was not going back at all when I felt the effect of the stress of thinking about working.
If I had not gotten that darn flat tire, I could have had help making this decision sooner. Still, it will work out, and the sub can stay all year. She is a recently retired high school honors math teacher. Ha ha. She really loves the fifth graders, though. The superintendent signed a special waiver so she can work and not lose her retirement benefits.
(Now I have to pray that I can use the sick bank.)
[ February 04, 2005, 06:08 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
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Teaching draws SO much on your reserves! So I'm relieved you made this decision, difficult as it must be. You need the time and breathing space to recover.
And Hatrack needs you -- yes, puns and all. Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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The brain is a weird thing. You know when your back is out, or you sprain your ankle? All of a sudden, you realize all that every move you make depends on your back. Any walking involves your ankle. Well, the brain is the same thing, except it is creepier. When I stress out about something, it feels like my brain is separating from my head. I can actually feel myself think. When I was in the hospital, and tried to write, each word had its own little accompanying brain twinge. Respect your brains, I tell you!
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The only options you can consider are ones that are possible. being at your usual level of functioning is just not possible right now -- it isn't even on the list. And though it would be ideal and what you would want to happen, it isn't your fault that you cannot make it so.
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Thanks, Sara, but I do feel a lot better after speaking with the neurologist. Diagnosing myself out of working was not beneficial. he validated my feelings, and I feel soooo relieved. I know I will get better, ad I can better without the stress/guilt of work.
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It's easy, from this side of the screen, to forget that you're not back at 100%, Liz. I'm very glad that from that side of the screen you were able to accept the fact that NOT going back to work was the right thing to do this time, even without official confirmation. **hugs** Continue to be well, ma'am.
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Liz, whenever Mack and Nate tell me they are ready to go to dinner, I will let you know. It would be good to see you again, and Jenni and I would have no problem with giving you a ride there and back.
I tore an adductor tendon when I was in the service, and that hurt like a bitch for months. That was 11 years ago, and to this day I can;t ride a atationary bike or if hurts for days. I know what you mean about hidden injuries....you use the adductor tendon to stand still, and for almost every movement you do. You even use to wiggle or turn over in bed. I was amazed at how much that stupid little tendon did in ever day life...I had never noticed it until it was hurt, and without it I couldn't even go to sleep without it hurting.
Good luck...hard as it is I am sure taking the time off is for the best.
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Thanks, Kwea. I don't know why we need to wait for Mack and Nate, let's just get together any old time. Plus, I want to trade books with you. Check the Iron horse schedule and see if thre is anything of interest to you. I have been itching to go out and "see" some music. www.iheg.com
As for you, Rivka. Punning is like any sport. You practice, and you build the muscle o' pun. I consider it part of my therapy, for sure.
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Wow, Elizabeth! I'm so glad you've made it out on top and are comfortable with your decision and have some professional opinions to back you up.
I can't even imagine the weirdness of trying to think about thinking. We take so many things about our bodies for granted!!
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When I was still in the hospital, I wrote like a four year-old. I would practice by writing a note each day to my kids. (I should scan and send one-pretty funny) Anyway, when I wrote, I could actually feel my brain working. It was so bizarre, but made me understand what LD students go through when the teacher says, "OK everyone, put your name and date on the paper, and copy these sentences off the board."
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I seem to remember that babies get their hands and arms wired into their brain ahead of their legs and feet. Well, I don't know if that's good, bad or irrelevant.
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That is interesting, Mothertree. I wonder if there is a correlation between babies' development and people who are recovering from neurological trauma. It is amazing to me that my physical therapy really only involves regular kinds of exercise and strength training. Did you ever hear of "Brain Gym?" It is a program developed for kids with learning disabilities and ADD. The thought is that the movement will exercise the brain. One of the exercises is for kids(or adults) to draw circles on the chalkboard with both hands. You know, I am going to look up some of those exercises and try them. Thanks for the memory jolt!
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Many schools now use it, along with Bal-A-Vis-X here locally to help kids with learning or cognitive problems. My own son has used it to help with his dyslexia a great deal. (Bal-A-Vis-X is going to be featured in a Time magazine shortly - they were here interviewing Bill Hubert for an article on the program a couple months ago).
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Elizabeth, my wife has encephalitis caused by pseudo-tumors in her brain. In July of last year, a permanent shunt was installed to relieve the pressure. She is able to walk and function normally, but her optic nerve was so severely damaged that she now has a very reduced visual field.
I'm not even sure why I'm telling you this. Shared sympathy/grief I guess. Oh well.
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THT, I have found very few people with any experience with this condition. (thank goodness, I guess) If you email me, I will send you the address of an online support group. I have learned more there than from the docs or anyone else. edob63@yahoo.com What type of encephalitis did she get? Was she treated appropriately and in a timely fashion?
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Farmgirl, thanks for the link. I think I am going to try some of the exercises in these programs and see if I notice a diffrence.
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Elizabeth, I can't tell you off the top of my head what type it is, but it definitely wasn't treated in a timely manner. It took us three different neurologists before we decided to drive up to Johns Hopkins. Once she began going to Hopkins, they moved incredibly fast.
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Urgh. My husband's cousin has cancer, and now he has some strange symptoms they can't figure out. It sounds so much like encephalitis!
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Isn't the brain a marvelous thing? We don't even realize what a magnificent little machine it is until we have to step outside it again like you've had to.
Best of luck to you and your hard-working marvelous brain!
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I think that once you've been seriously ill, you see symptoms everywhere. Both my wife and I are cancer survivors, and it's scary how many symptoms of cancer are also symptoms of insignificant conditions...The encephalitis only makes it worse. Is her headache because the shunt isn't working, or is it allergies...or is a tumor?
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You are right, THT, and that is why I haven't said anything. Every time anyone has a cold, I think, "Egads, it will trigger encephalitis!"
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