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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Hell Ironic Punishment Division

   
Author Topic: Hell Ironic Punishment Division
Dagonee
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I've heard too many outrageous things that make me feel inclined to violence today. Rape, molestation, murder. [Mad]

As an antidote, let's make up invent ironic eternal punishments for minor offenses.

Punishment for people who steal condiments, salt shakers, and napkins from fast food places: They are very hungry and enter a room with all their favorite foods. But, each food is missing an important element. The popcorn has no salt or butter. The chocolate chip cookies have no chips. The chocolate cake is rich and has all the icing, but the milk spills just as you reach for it. The Tabasco Sauce is empty when you try to put it on the BBQ.

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Morbo
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People who say "Knowhatimsayin'?" every third breath get unending inane chatter from the demons during their torture, sprinkled with that horrid phrase.
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Megan
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People who cut other people off driving will be stuck on a single lane of road with high walls on either side. They will be driving forever behind a large car (buick, or oldsmobile) driven slowly by an elderly lady, with no way to get around, and another car tailgating behind them (so they can't turn around or go in reverse).
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Dagonee
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Megan, you need to twist that knife - have the road open up every few miles, but just as it does, an oncoming car prevents you from passing. [Evil]
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Narnia
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[ROFL] Megan, I laughed out loud. Really. That is my idea of hell. (I don't cut people off, I promise, but that's still my idea of hell.)
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Peter
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my ideas are to violent and twisted, espicially for those who rape little girls
*grumble*




But what would really make me laugh is if those people had the *cough*perverted*cough* teleltubbies jumping up and down around them and being their general obnoxious selves

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Dragon
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quote:
People who say "Knowhatimsayin'?" every third breath get unending inane chatter from the demons during their torture, sprinkled with that horrid phrase.
[Evil Laugh] Lord. Please!
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Glenn Arnold
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My object all sublime
I shall acheive in time
to let the punishment fit the crime
the punishment fit the crime

And make each prisoner pent
unwillingly represent
a source of innocent merriment
of innocent merriment

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Dagonee
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Mark Burnett will be placed on an island with 20 people. Someone will get voted off every night. But never him. No, he's there forever. Every time 19 people are voted off, 19 more are added.
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Tstorm
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People who refuse to buy extended warranties on expensive electronics always have their products break the day after the manufacturer's 90-day warranty.

So there. [Mad]

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Mabus
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And people who buy the extended warranty have their products break down the day after that expires, so that they have spent the extra money for nothing.
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Tstorm
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No, you don't understand.

People who DO are exempt.

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Synesthesia
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How about people who make bad commercials will not only have to eat/use the product 24 hours a day, but they will have to watch their commercials and NOTHING ELSE.
Also, the same goes for people who make these bad crappy movies. They will sit for hours with their eyes pried open with little tooth picks watching their horrible films with all the dumb fart jokes playing repeatedly.

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Tstorm
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Synesthesia, I would vote for that one. [Smile]
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Glenn Arnold
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Companies that sell extended warranties on expensive electronics lose a lawsuit for building crappy products.
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Narnia
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Wow. Some distinct bitterness going on here. Nice and healthy!! [Big Grin]
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Tstorm
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quote:
Companies that sell extended warranties on expensive electronics lose a lawsuit for building crappy products.
[Big Grin]

Agreed!!! I don't work for the crappy companies! I only sell their crappy products! With a gun to my head over the extended warranty, of course. [Grumble]

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Dagonee
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Political bombasts will have to live in societies based on their polemic - and they will be in positions of non-power.
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Paul Goldner
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parents who let their kids run out of control in public places spend an eternity standing in a narrow aisle in a grocery store, and all the other shoppers are under the age of 6.
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whiskysunrise
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People who butt in line would never make it to the front. They would go farther back each time.
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advice for robots
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Neighbors who are outside screaming obscenities at each other while your kids are in the backyard shall be locked in a room equipped with fabulous speakers and 24/7 accordion music.
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imogen
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Hey afr - you must live near me! The people over our back fence are famous for their vocal and profane arguments.
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