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Put him the cooler! The stir! The verdict is we need more puns. Puns about the criminal justice system and all things legal or otherwise. I think we've got a great line up. I suspect you'll all execute some good ones, but Dag will have a lock on this category.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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Maybe we need to give it a rest. We'll need to bale if we flood the board with puns. And that might lead to insect infestation - a search war ant might scout the area, looking for jailo.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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So you don't think Hatrack's e-quitable? You've got another thing comity, mister. Your constant conflict is just more evidence that you can't you keep a civil tongue in your head.
Posts: 516 | Registered: Aug 2004
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That's it! I've alread missed exercising 'cause of your action-- now my butt's all flabby and my abs initio. I need to get right to reps count, sell my long sleeves. If I can find a convenient tank top, I can get right to bear arms. But it's not likely, after collater-all your silly puns.
Posts: 516 | Registered: Aug 2004
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A real whodunit has emerged in a town close to me. Apparently some city employees found human bones in the waste disposal drains. They've called in some forensic specialists to determine if the death was a result of foul play and how the bones ended up in the sewer. They haven't asked me but I think it's obvious that this is quite clearly a case of sewercide.
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I am so tired of my son's breakfast eating problem. I cannot keep a full box of Cheerios in the house to save my soul. He is a real cereal killer.
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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I work out of the house now. Last week I did laundry and then got busy with some work tasks. Yep, I filed my briefs. Found 'em in there this morning.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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My grandfather was a baker. He poisoned a bunch of people with a dessert and had to go out of business. Torte liability just killed him. Of course, now that we've convinced him to use fresh ingredients, his business has benefitted mightily from torte reform.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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Our high school basketball coach was a local judge who volunteered at the school. He was always very polite. When he took a player out of the game he would always say "you may approach the bench."
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I'm a proponent of torte reform. Tortes are overrunning trial dockets, and get them all sticky.
Posts: 516 | Registered: Aug 2004
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There is a little quad in the town next to me that has a wonderful soup kitchen right next to a paper supplier. I figure this is as close as I'm gonna get to the SoupReam Court.
Posts: 2022 | Registered: Mar 2004
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We need to be careful in this thread. If we tell more than 7 puns, we might make someone sick enough to need a transfusion. There would be pun 8 IV damages.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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I love to go ice climbing in the winter. Sometimes, though, the ice starts to melt, and gets very watery. It makes scaling those walls dangerous! So, I really prefer a scale of just ice.
[ March 03, 2005, 09:31 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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Oh man! I just saw this and I hafta take the big sleep!
Ice-T was busted for icing one of his posse who had recently been cold to him. Turns out he used illegal aliens, some Icelanders, for the hit, so ICE came down on him like an avalanche. Funny, considering how cool ICE had been to him otherwise.
But it wasn't just ICE, the feds and everybody else got on the bandwagon too. They remembered how OJ had skated and wanted to check any rinky-dink defense tactics by working together.
Posts: 327 | Registered: Oct 2003
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I scared the heck out of my cousin several Easters' ago. Ted, my cousin, was helping us with Easter eggs and I said, "Help me get eggs to dry, Ted." He immediately was concerned that I was being sent to another state for some sort of felony.
Posts: 2022 | Registered: Mar 2004
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I had a friend once with a sick endangered baby bird in her care. She tried to sue the man who made it sick to pay for it to go live in its native habitat in China to get some fresh air like the vet recommended, but the court ruled against promoting ill eagle youth in Asia.
Posts: 624 | Registered: Mar 2005
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I have several Hung Jury jokes, but they are inapropriate to this family forum.
Then there is the classic about the guy who was arrested stepping over a pair of Lions that belong to the state of Missouri, as he was casting a spell to make some dolphins live for ever.
He was convicted of the Man-Act. You know, Crossing State Lions for Immortal Porpoises.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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I got a friend in trouble with his wife by recounting our escapades following his bachelor party. He was less than pleased about my ex-party communication.
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